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Backup of the post’s body: Hi Reddit. This might sound a little strange, but I really need some perspective..
I moved to a new country several years ago and don’t have any family here, so my cat is basically my family. She’s been with me for 9 years and means the world to me, not just a pet, but my emotional anchor through so many ups and downs.
Back when I was single, my cat used to sleep with me every night, and I loved our morning snuggles. After my boyfriend moved in about a 1.5 years ago (we’re now 2.5 years in relationship) she sometimes slept with both of us. But one morning, she was licking my boyfriend’s hand while he was half asleep. Thinking there was a bug or something, he shook his hand, accidentally hitting her. She ran away and never slept with us again after that.
I tried to get her to sleep with us and the dog, but the dog is a Border Collie who loves to play and keeps scaring my cat. My cat is very small, only 2.7 kg but fluffy, and doesn’t get along with other pets. (She lived with dogs before and learned to mind her own business, but with this dog, it’s different.) So I stopped trying to force them to get along.
Since my boyfriend moved in, my cat started spending more time outside, even through cold winter nights. I made her a comfy, safe spot with a cat tower, scratcher, her food bowls and obviously her bed. But it still hurts. The dog sleeps in the bed with us now, and my cat never comes inside to sleep.
Over time, we’ve had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship, and I’ve noticed a growing number of small things about him that annoy me. Last night I cried over how much I miss my cat and woke up in the middle of the night thinking that my cat wants to come inside the room (she didn’t) and it hurt me so much. I think I’ve been building up resentment because of how much my cat is withdrawn and how much I miss her. I think I’m resenting the dog too, even though I love her, but I give her less and less love and pats. I’m seriously considering moving out because I want my cat to be more comfortable and to reclaim some blissful morning cuddles…
But I wonder, would I regret taking such a step backward in our relationship over a cat? Is this resentment clouding my judgment? I love my boyfriend, and I know he loves me, but this situation is really hurting me… Are there any other options?
[tl;dr] My 9 year old cat has withdrawn herself from the house because of my bf and his dog. I resent them for it. What are my options?
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Backup of the post’s body: Hi Reddit. This might sound a little strange, but I really need some perspective..
I moved to a new country several years ago and don’t have any family here, so my cat is basically my family. She’s been with me for 9 years and means the world to me, not just a pet, but my emotional anchor through so many ups and downs.
Back when I was single, my cat used to sleep with me every night, and I loved our morning snuggles. After my boyfriend moved in about a 1.5 years ago (we’re now 2.5 years in relationship) she sometimes slept with both of us. But one morning, she was licking my boyfriend’s hand while he was half asleep. Thinking there was a bug or something, he shook his hand, accidentally hitting her. She ran away and never slept with us again after that.
I tried to get her to sleep with us and the dog, but the dog is a Border Collie who loves to play and keeps scaring my cat. My cat is very small, only 2.7 kg but fluffy, and doesn’t get along with other pets. (She lived with dogs before and learned to mind her own business, but with this dog, it’s different.) So I stopped trying to force them to get along.
Since my boyfriend moved in, my cat started spending more time outside, even through cold winter nights. I made her a comfy, safe spot with a cat tower, scratcher, her food bowls and obviously her bed. But it still hurts. The dog sleeps in the bed with us now, and my cat never comes inside to sleep.
Over time, we’ve had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship, and I’ve noticed a growing number of small things about him that annoy me. Last night I cried over how much I miss my cat and woke up in the middle of the night thinking that my cat wants to come inside the room (she didn’t) and it hurt me so much. I think I’ve been building up resentment because of how much my cat is withdrawn and how much I miss her. I think I’m resenting the dog too, even though I love her, but I give her less and less love and pats. I’m seriously considering moving out because I want my cat to be more comfortable and to reclaim some blissful morning cuddles…
But I wonder, would I regret taking such a step backward in our relationship over a cat? Is this resentment clouding my judgment? I love my boyfriend, and I know he loves me, but this situation is really hurting me… Are there any other options?
[tl;dr] My 9 year old cat has withdrawn herself from the house because of my bf and his dog. I resent them for it. What are my options?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
This actually made me really sad and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
There must be some kind of compromise. This is your baby.
Someone suggested a spare room ? That sounds like it may work.
Have a nice chat with your bf about it. I’m sure if the situation were reversed, he would want to have his dog with him to, no?
Good luck