Like the title states- my husband and I are originally from Florida and both sets of our parents still live down there. We moved to Tennessee in 2023 as a change of pace, less hot weather, and a lower cost of living. At the time, I was OK with moving but now I am really regretting it. Since we moved, we welcomed two daughters into the world and as the default parent, being in Tennessee with no family is really hard on me. It doesn’t affect my husband since a) he’s not the default parent and b) he doesn’t get along with my parents and is not particularly close with his dad. His mom does fly up a lot to help us but she’s 72 and I can tell it’s really hard on her.
I am the primary breadwinner and i have to travel to Florida quarterly fir work. I work remotely for a company in Florida and if I ever wanted a large promotion I’d have to live in Florida. My husband does consulting work and works for himself. But he can work from anywhere. I have made many friends here in TN but that doesn’t replace family. My husband has made zero effort to make friends. He is friendly with some of my friend’s husbands but only at a group gathering. With all that said, i grew up in Florida and went to college in florida and it is just home to me. My husband says he hates Florida and would never ever move back. All in all, I’m here to ask- are my reasons legitimate enough to leave him and move back to Florida?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
So you’re the breadwinner AND the primary parent? Sounds like you should be the primary decision maker. Let him know that the life you have now isn’t working for you. Let him know you need help. If help cannot be found in TN, then you will be going to FL with or without him, and you can sort out custody in court if it comes down to it.
So let’s see, you’re making all the money AND doing all the childcare and can’t get a promotion or help unless you move to FL but the child you married is pitching a fit because he’d rather sit on his butt at your house, making less money, and not taking care of your children. Is that what you want for the rest of your life? Another dependent pitching a toddler fit about what is best for his family?
I suggest you move back to FL near your support system and where you can advance your career. He can either move with you or not. It doesn’t sound like his “contribution” will be missed so where’s the loss?