She (26F) got out of a bad relationship back around January ’25. I had gotten out of my relationship in April ’25. We had been very close friends for about 2 years before we had both broken up. We leaned on each other a lot as friends do. I started staying over at her house, giving her everything she needed, helping her with everything (I literally made sure she didn’t want for anything).
Time starts moving and we start to get sexually involved and hanging out constantly but with no labels. But our close friends would say “yea, y’all are dating”. With that being said, she always made sure to tell me, hey we aren’t in a relationship.
Fast forward to a week ago. She started texting another guy, which she cut off after a day. (Met him while drunk) I asked he why she lied to me about it and she said she didn’t know and that it was just for attention. I forgave her and she said she wouldn’t do it again. Next day, she wanted to talk and set boundaries.
I’m so fucking confused and don’t know what to do. I love this girl to death. I really do. I enjoy taking care of her. I enjoy doing everything for her. She’s saying she loves me and never had anyone treat her like this but she isn’t ready and she is gonna move away to get away from her ex. (I can’t follow due to work). I would never post anything like this but I’m desperate. She tells me she still wants to be friends and she says that we could maybe be something in the future but she’s just not in a place to date right now.
What do I do? How do I get over her? My daily routine for the past year involves her. Taking care of her. Making sure everything is perfect. But now shes saying shes going to move and it is just bad timing and wishes she would’ve met me sooner, before the ex.
Am I stupid for wanting to wait for her? To give up my time while she lives her life? id do anything for her and she knows it, she’s told me that. I don’t think I’m being used. Because she always says that I owe her nothing. And I make sure she knows I’m doing everything cause I want to. Help me.
TlDr: Love of my life is gonna leave, I don’t know what to do.
Comments
More than anything, you are mentally still in shock and this is making you want her more. Give time for your feelings to be processed and you can actually start thinking objectively. Avoid having sex with her, even if she wants to, this will leave you in most vulnerable mental state ever.
Take time away from her, some distance will make things clearer. You’re going through shock and your brain is telling you to hold on cause you’re losing something.
With time you will see that maybe this wasn’t the healthiest relationship for you.
Be good to yourself.
People have been together for decades, having their entire lives revolve around a partner. Those relationships end and those people move on just fine. You will too. It’ll hurt for awhile. Just keep yourself busy with healthy distractions like hobbies or hanging out with friends, not drinking/drugs. Eventually you’ll find someone who will make you forget all about it. And you’ll look back and wonder why you were ever distraught in the first place.
She’s using you and you are letting her.
You gain self-respect and you walk away from someone who is using you.
Give her the space now that you should have given her earlier this year. She needs to process her breakup and you fell into the rebound role. Stay friends and hope that she works through her issues and comes back into your life later on.
You’re not stupid; you’re just in love. But she’s telling you plainly she’s not choosing you right now. Believe her words, not your hope.