TL;DR: just survived a first big conflict with bf and looking for ways to rekindle the spark post resolution.
My boyfriend broke a strict boundary of mine while he was on vacation, and I only found out months after the incident because I had a random sneaking suspicion that he did some things that I consider inappropriate. None of it is infidelity, just cultural differences in what’s deemed ok in a relationship. My culture is way more conservative than his but I’ve never hesitated to communicate my boundaries.
While the boundary being broken was an issue, the greater problem was that he lied and didn’t immediately tell me when it happened. And only told me because I mentioned and pried it out of him. It’s actually the first time in three years that I’ve never felt slighted by him to such a degree that I was considering breaking up if he wasn’t apologetic.
We’ve since had a couple conversations and I truly have forgiven him. We have a plan on how to address these types of issues before they become big and he’s apologized and given me no reason to doubt his sincerity. He’s let me know he’s feeling a big of emotional hangover as well but has been great at being loving and caring. On my part I’ve let him know I don’t want this to hang over us and I don’t want to bring this issue up as ammunition in future fights. So I’m also moving forward acting how I normally would. So it should be cut and dry right?
Fast forward: it’s been a week now and I’m still having a hard time feeling as romantic and in love as I was prior. I truly do trust and believe in moving forward. I’m not so dumb as to think my partner will never make mistakes. I want a forgiving partner myself. So why can’t I feel as connected as before?
I would love advice on things that have helped you reconnect after a big fight?