We had a real connection in those first two dates. And then he stopped replying to text messages. I sent him two messages via text (interval of 1 month) and then another message on app to check if he was ok. I recently sent him a message that I wish him well. He replied the same day saying that he’s sorry he was not communicative for the last 2 1/2 months. We’ve agreed to meet again and talk, but I’m not sure how to handle the conversation? Would you talk about the ghosting? Or would you just leave at “ hey, in future, if you think this isn’t working out, just tell me” . For reference, we both been never married and per the dating app we are both looking for our life partner.
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Oh, I just wouldn’t meet with this person. Poor communication isn’t something I want to put up with.
I honestly wouldn’t even have agreed to meet up with him. It is obvious he was with someone else he was more invested in and went back to you when it didn’t work out.
There’s a conversation to have BEFORE meeting again. A simple question. Why ghost? A simple answer. Learning the detail before meeting up gives a better idea of whether it’s even worthwhile to meet up again.
If I could predict the future I would be the worlds greatest advice giver, but all I can say to you is that you’ve agreed to hear him out by agreeing to meet up with him, so you should hear him out before you decide what you want to do. You don’t want to hit the ground running, especially if, for instance, he was unavailable due to a family emergency, a death in the family, loss of a job, etc. does that make sense? If he doesn’t bring it up (which would be weird, tbh) asking him about it is totally fine to do in a collected way. And if you don’t like his answer, you can just dip!
I don’t know why you would want to meet up with someone to discuss this. It seems like a waste of time for both of you.
I wouldn’t meet with this person again to begin with.
I don’t think you should meet up with him OP. You’ve already shown him he can treat your poorly and you’ll still chase him. People who can’t reply to a simple message saying the have a lot going on and will be in touch again after a while don’t make good boyfriends.
Set down your phone, go find your dignity and move on to the next man, this one isn’t going to give you what you want, but will give you what you seem to be looking for: Mistreatment, Confusion, and a Broken Heart.
Do better for yourself OP.
He’s been pretty apologetic in his texts. Saying he should have communicated, no excuses. He was out of country when I sent him a text in May. He read it in June, but never replied. And now suddenly when I sent him a farewell text saying I wish him well and good luck, he replied.
My partner works ~60 hours a week and is a single parent. He still texts me good morning and calls me every night starting from our first date.
When a man wants you, he moves heaven and earth to have you in his life. This man apparently does not feel that way toward you, OP. Don’t waste your time entertaining him whenever it’s convenient for him.
I would hear him out first but would only accept an extreme reason (death, health issues, etc.). Life is too short.
He is just not that into you.
If he was, he would have given response sooner.
Most likely it tell through with some else and he enjoys the affirmation from someone who is hunting him by sending what… 4-6 (?) texts without any encuragement back.
Sounds like a situationship in the making. He’s not serious about you otherwise he would have replied to your messages
Maybe he was in jail? I would just ask him, “hey I’m not trying to pry but what happened, why did you disappear for 2 months?” See what he has to say, if he says he would rather not talk about it then you need to make the decision if you can let it go. But if he ghosts you again then I hope you would leave it be and move on.
He’s 38 and acting like this? Nope. That’s unacceptable IMO and shows a complete lack of respect for you and zero emotional maturity.
No matter what’s going on, he could and should have taken the time to let you know what the situation was. That’s the bare minimum you should expect and its concerning that you don’t value yourself enough to see that.
Chances are there was another woman he wanted to pursue and now that its ended with her, he’s come back to you. Don’t be surprised when he does this again.
I think whoever he was interested in dropped him.
I had a guy ghost me 5 months ago. He showed up in the middle of the night two weeks ago. He sat outside my house for an hour, calling and texting. I didn’t answer.
I called him back the next day. No answer. I texted him. No answer.
These men aren’t worth our time. Maybe your guy is different but I doubt it.
I’m always fascinated by women who see red flags with men and then continue to give them a chance. Why on earth would you agree to meet again? You’re basically confirming to him you’re a doormat and he can come and go as he pleases. Stand up and have some self-respect.
He was probably seeing somebody else and it didn’t work out for reasons you’ll never know nor do you need to. You don t deserve to be anybody’s rebound.Just be yourself love yourself and the right person will come along.Peace
Sounds like he’s looking for a booty call. I’d pass.
Time to wake up to the fact that he’s a grown man of 38 YEARS OLD and he knows exactly how he’s behaving so you don’t need to teach him! He chooses to behave this way PRECISELY BECAUSE THERE ARE WOMEN OUT THERE WHO TOLERATE THIS. Please do yourself and other women a favour and give him a real life lesson how this is not acceptable behavior and do not entertain this. It will only end worse for you down the line
I wouldn’t. I’m not in the business of convincing people to treat me with respect. You’ve sent what looks like four messages after a man who was ignoring you. Why? Why so desperate to be liked by unlikeable men?
Have some self respect. He ghosted you because you weren’t important enough. Time to move on and stop being desperate. No need to be messaging a guy every month to check in when he’s ignoring you. You’re 32, I expect better from you.
Nothing, you say/do nothing. They ghosted you, that’s all you need to know.
I would just end things here.
The reality is that he likely met someone else who he was focusing on for the last two months. Things fizzled out there, and now you’re an available option. This happened to me a lot in online dating, and while being “second choice” isn’t bad, it’s the lack of upfront communication that is the deal breaker. A guy who’s actually excited about you won’t be like “lol, i forogt to reply.”
If he ghosted you, you don’t need to message him. He can see you’re desperate and will use it against you, it’s best to leave him and work on yourself. Let him be.
Well you have to just strait forward ask him what the reason was. See what he says, explain how you felt and also depending on the reason wa⁴⁴s or did he see someone else. Tell him if it was to see another that you see no future to carry on. When will it happen again.. there may be a legitimate reason for him going non contact for that time Anyway ask.
He ghosted you, why are you giving him the time of day?! Don’t be desperate.
Absolutely not. And you checking in on a guy like that after two dates looks desperate and kind of creepy tbh. Let him go, he left the first time on his own, this time show him out.
Wouldn’t even meet him. He is a near perfect stranger to you still, as you are to him. You’ve barely scratched the surface of this guy. He just isn’t into you. Which is fine, someone else will be.
I’d ask. Who knows what he was working through. Maybe he will have an explanation acceptable to you. Don’t write off people easily. But you are due an explanation.
Greet him with
“So, tell me about the alien abduction”
Or
“Were you released for good behavior or time served?”
Love yourself girl and don’t meet up with him. It’s not worth the potential heartache. There are others out there who are emotionally available and good communicators.
I do believe face-to-face is better. You have nothing to lose but your time. Either his explanation gives you reason for another chance or it gives you reason to never see or communicate with them again.
Not a good idea. He ghosted you for a reason. He probably went out on other dates and was rejected. Now he’s circling back to you.
The ghosting doesn’t matter unless you make it matter. But if you’re entertaining more dates with him, it clearly wasn’t an issue.
I agree.
Focus on the present and what you can control. Not reliving things you can’t
Why on Earth would you even agree to waste your time to meet up with him again??? Have some self-respect. 😮💨 He probably ghosted you to try a relationship with someone else, and it didn’t work out, so now he’s going back through his list of “Maybes”. Have some dignity, and just cancel your meeting. If you weren’t an option then, you shouldn’t be one now. NEXT!!
No, I think you should decline. If you guys dated twice, and then he went AWOL on you, it’s either 2 options based on my experience.
1, he definitely was dating other people (which is fine, as you should too) and connected more with someone else. Then, instead of telling you, he ghosted you, and then when it didn’t work out with the other girl, he came back to you. You definitely do not deserve to be the rebound selection.
2, he could have been afraid of committment, or decided he wasn’t ready to be in a potential relationship. Again, he should have told you. You reached out twice? with no luck.
Do yourself a favour, and find someone who is communicative and will choose you, not as a rebound, but as a first choice.
If you want to hear what he has to say, which will be a bunch of excuses mixed with explanation, that’s up to you, but put your wellbeing first and how you want a partner to be in a relationship.
I would juat say “Ghosting is for cowards. Goodbye.”
“So. Am I the backup plan, or what?”
“I require a $5,000 apology fee for ghosting me if you want to try and re enter my life.”
“Found out that other girl ain’t shit, huh?”
Maybe he was cleaning his house for 2 months? Give him a chance you never know! Sarcasm aside, why would you want to meet someone who ghosts you and then comes back? Unless you just want to hook up, this is not going to be a serious and healthy relationship. He ruined it already.
He ghosted you because he was test driving another girl. I wouldn’t recommend re-engaging with this guy.
He had to lay low because his wife caught him.
He’s just not that into you. Sorry- been there plenty of times.