First time coming on here for this but I need to vent. We’re not the types to go through each others phones but idk something last night was telling me to do it. at first i saw nothing but then i went to her recently deleted and fuck was i in for a surprise. shes been texting her ex for months. we dont live together and there was times when id take her home and shed invite him over 10 minutes after. i counted at least 15 times where she asked him to come over since june 2 and each morning it was always “thank you for staying with me.” we share each others locations so there was even one time where she made up an excuse telling him she cant take her phone but she’ll be there in 10 minutes, so she went to his house and again next morning saying “thanks for letting me stay with you”she stays with me 3/4 days out of the week and it seems like when she wasnt with me she was home with him.
I am so heartbroken but i love her so much and im really struggling to cope with all this.
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OMG “I love her so much”
Please stop! She cheated. The ONLY option is to move on.
She lied. She cheated. Repeatedly. Behind your back. In your bed. With her ex. This wasn’t a mistake. It was a pattern.
Walk away. Grieve later.
This is a no-brainer. Obviously you leave. Trust in the process that it gets better. Keep yourself occupied with hobbies and friends, adopt a kitten, or travel.
You can’t be serious, honey.
I know this hurts, but I honestly don’t know how you can bear to look at her finding this out.
You’ll never feel secure with her again, always wondering if she’s hiding stuff. Please move on.
What is the question? You cannot stay. She has betrayed you and will again. Have some respect for yourself. She doesn’t love you or treat you well. Pull it together and end this immediately.
Obviously leave.
The issue being is telling her why you want to leave/confrontation about being on her phone. I don’t blame you because a gut instinct has led the best of us to just check a phone to be sure. If you had found nothing, you would probably have felt really bad about doing it, and just made it clear to yourself you wouldn’t do it again. Personally, I’d regain your power and dignity and don’t mention you’ve seen the messages. Just say you’ve felt somethings been a bit off the last few months and you can’t see the relationship developing and moving forward. Don’t let her gaslight you by saying nothings wrong, if she says anything just pause and look her right in the eyes for a few seconds with a knowing look and just say, so now I’m going to leave and I expect you as an adult to respect my decision – nothing more to say after this
Your her spare boyfriend. You are officially in a poly relationship sharing your girlfriend with her ex. Dump her she’s a horrible person.
Sorry buddy but it’s over. You’re being used as a back up. Find someone who respects you and the relationship, is loyal, is trust worthy. You will never ever trust her again.
You have self respect and block her. Never contact her again. Silence will kill her. Move on with your life. You’re in love with who you thought she was, not who she actually is. Updateme
I have a off topic question?
Why do I see so many people in relationships sharing locations?
Why do alot of people do this. I could understand for safety reasons like taking an uber or like walking home from somthing.
But share location 24/7
Break up with her. Don’t tell her you know she cheated. Tell her she’s not the type of girl you could date long term, you just gonna call it here. Be vague but direct. Break up with her, let her know it’s her, she’s not worth you, and end it. Leave her guessing. Leave her sorry she didn’t go all in with you.
Listen. Your “amazing” girlfriend is actively and continuously cheating on you. She. Does. Not. Love. You. You don’t need to go into her cheat, hear about it, it absolutely is happening and no she’s not apologetic. She doesn’t love you. You don’t owe her an explanation: she doesn’t love you. She’s not worth your time. She is the girl with gutter character, you gotta accept she’s trash.
Sorry but she doesn’t like you much less love you. Sorry you’re heartbroken but she isn’t. She doesn’t want you. You need to understand you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t even like or respect you. Your heart shouldn’t hurt long when you actually stop and think how she’s treated you. Would you really want to be with someone who treats you like this? It would make my love for them disappear in a heartbeat
Dump her before she dumps you. If she’s hanging with the ex this much she’s looking for a way to drop you. End it before she gets the chance
How can you sit down to type all that out without having a spine? That’s impressive.
She’s cheating. Dump and block. Grieve later. Self respect matters more at this point than how badly you might feel.
Will it suck to lose a relationship? Sure. But guess what…there are worse things than being single, and this is one of them.
Only a loser would continue a relationship with someone who disrespects them like this. You’re not a loser, OP….right?
Also, get tested.
You love her so much?…you cant help some people…
Leave. She’s been fucking her ex non-stop behind your back and doesn’t care about you. This isn’t one drunken mistake, OP. She’s gone.
Dude she obviously never stopped screwing her ex and it seems pretty obvious at this point. you might love her but she clearly doesn’t love you. Walk away or just keep enduring more pain.
Someone that loves you wouldn’t deceive you in this way.
You cannot let someone who was so overwhelmingly callous and selfish to you continue to be in your life. That depth, consistency and duration in deceit is unforgivable and nobody should even consider it IMO. Please FTLOG get a therapist, call your friends and family- go anywhere but near her and just start piecing together tomorrows one at a time, but the sooner you get her out of your life the sooner the healing can begin and you deserve that. You deserve better. Good luck OP.
Why be in love with a cheater? She’s nothing.
Tell her that it’s over (you don’t have to explain why), either ghost her replies or block her number and move on with your life. Thankfully you aren’t living together, so it’s much easier removing her from your life.
Bro ur done
You shouldn’t be any question in your mind about what you need to do. It’s just how you go about doing it.
If you haven’t confronted her yet, you need to decide if you do it just with the screenshots of the messages you took, or you turn up at her place once her ex has turned up and make a scene. She might not answer the door if she knows it’s you so maybe call her for a chat, ask where she is, when she says at home, ring the doorbell.
Or the better way is you should just go No Contact with her and walk away. Maybe a simple “I know everything” message and watch the trickle truthing come over the next couple of days but keep replying with “Why are you still bothering to lie to me, I told you I know everything, and we’re over.” Leave her with some dignity and self-respect. Let her know that you’re not someone to be walked over and as soon as you found it, you left.
I’m so sorry. The only thing to do is block her immediately if not sooner and move on. She’s gross, this is unforgivable.
Not sure if you should leave or stay? What? I’m sorry you’re going through this but…. You know the answer. This is a complete disregard of you, your feelings and the relationship in general. She clearly doesn’t value it.
Dump her skanky ass and get tested. You’re too old to be unsure of what to do in this situation!
Simple answer but difficult to execute: You leave. She cheated. If you keep her, she will know that she can do it again and she most likely will. She does not love you and she is hooked on her ex. Have some respect for yourself and ghost her. You may love her, but I promise she does not and has not loved you. That is hard to hear, but sometimes the truth hurts.
I’m going to ask you one simple question and if your answer is yes, then fine, stay with her…
But just know you’ll end up even more broken than you are now.
Do you truly believe that when she looks at you, she feels admiration and respect for you knowing she’s cheating on you like that?
If your answer is no… then leave. Walk away from that relationship.
If you want to talk more, hit me up in DM.
i know what i need to do i just needed to read and hear all this. thank ya’ll
The person you love doesn’t exist.
Wtf? Does her ex (but not really ex?) know she’s cheating on you with him? Man, dump her. That’s some shit person behavior. Sorry you’re going through this.
OP, you know the answer to this. Man up, and kick this chick to the curb, ASAP!!!
It’s over bro.
I’m sorry but you can still have fun with this.
Go out and get a small gift box. Put nothing but a note inside that reads “Empty just like your heart,” wrap it real nice and put a bow on it for flair. Tell your girl you have a surprise for her and tell her to meet you at a nice restaurant.
When you get your table order some drinks and look at the menu. Tell her you’re too excited to give her the gift you got her. Right before she unwraps it, put your hand on hers and say, “I just wanted to say thank you for staying with me. I really enjoyed staying with you.” Smile and then tell her to open the present.
When she opens it and finds the note, tell her you know she fucked her ex at least 15 times and to never contact you again. Throw some cash on the table for your drink and walk out.
Ghost, block and go contact.
She cheated. This is someone who’s untrustworthy and she wants an ex. Do yourself a favor, make her an ex. Let these two Bottomfeeders have each other. Water always sinks to it’s level. Remember that.
She lied and cheated and the trust is gone. You won’t ever get it back. Dump her and move on and find someone who respects you.
Grow a pair and drop the two timing pos.
You say you looovvve her, give me a break. How can you possibly love someone like her that is disrespectful to you and lies and cheats constantly. Wake up and smell the coffee ☕
Man up and break up. The love was purely one-sided.
You don’t even register as important to her. You are nothing but a distraction when the guy she wants is unavailable.
If you are devastated because you were lied to AND cheated on…. You already know the answer. Don’t run from it or try and find reasons to make it ok.
She’s trash. I’m sorry you’re going through this. But you don’t love her. You love who you thought she was. But she’s a liar and a cheater. Putting your health at risk to boot. You’ll always wonder what’s she’s really doing when she’s not with you. That’s no way to live. Dump her. Then, control the narrative. Tell all mutual friends and family exactly why you’re no longer together. Cheaters lie. They love to spin things to make YOU look like the bad guy so you need to get in front of this first. Then, hit the gym. It will keep you busy as well as helping you sleep. Lean on friends and family to stay busy. Being idle just forces your mind to wander and fixate on the past. It takes time but you’ll get through this. When you do, guaranteed she’ll be back. They always come back. Especially when they realize the grass isn’t greener. Your job is to be so over her you just laugh and slam that door in her face! Good luck to you!
You may love her but she doesn’t love you. Never stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love you. It’ll hurt for a while but the sooner you move on, the more of a chance you give yourself to find someone who will return your love.
Lol y r u even asking, leave her ass
You love a fantasy. You’ve discovered a bigger part of the picture. You’re clinging onto the small window you saw into before and are trying to keep blinders on.
It doesn’t sound like he was ever an ex and you were the side dude
If you stay with her you might as well make a schedule with her ex. That way you guys always know who gets what day.
Careful she may decide to add a 3rd dude once she’s bored of you two.
If you love her then love her ex too. Acceptance if that’s what you want. You can’t do anything unless you leave. She’s not hurting you. You already knew and yet you still with her so you’re the one who’s hurting yourself now. Wake up my baby.
It sounds like she was meeting with her bf and you were the side piece
33 years old and you can’t walk away, get a hold of yourself