I(37) have never met anyone with the same mentality, values, personality, ways of life or wishes in life.
This has become a serious issue especially when society pushes us to share a life with someone because we get old and we must have someone by our side to help and support us and unfortunately I agree with that. However, before I get there, the many many years before I get there, how am I supposed to enjoy life when no one I have ever met and I’ve met countless people all around the world- is nothing like me.
I don’t think I can explain it all, but to begin: I love to travel the world- experiencing all the different cultures and foods. Simple. I like meeting new people from different cultures. I like to get to know their stories and what they want to tell you about themselves. I want to stay up late on a random night to listen to music and dance and just talk. Especially when there isn’t anything to do. I don’t like grocery shopping and I prefer having those delivered (which I pay for and don’t expect anyone to pay for it). I want to explore and experience as much as possible before I die. I want the good moments to last longer and if I have to stay up longer on a good day, I will even if it’s 5 AM and it’s getting late. I don’t want to be the same person my entire life or even the entire year and I want to pick up and go anytime I want. I got the free time (enough) to do so and I’ve worked enough to have the finances to do so as well. Is there anyone else out there like me??
I (37) have never met anyone like myself…
r/Advice
Comments
Based on that description, heck yes. My wife and I are both like that. I mean, sometimes life keeps you grounded for a bit, but we’re always planning the next move. We live in a place where a lot of people like that pass through or stay for a little while.
“…society pushes us to share a life with someone because we get old and we must have someone by our side to help and support us and unfortunately I agree with that.”
What do you consider “old”?
Getting old does not require you to have someone by your side. There are tens of millions of people who are “old” and who are financially secure, eat right, take care of themselves, exercise, have friends, see movies and go to nice restaurants, and are happier than at any time other time in their lives.
As for you… you do not sound unusual in the least. And I do not think that is even remotely the problem here.
The question is: what compromises are YOU prepared to make to share a life with someone who is not a carbon copy of you?
If you are not prepared to make compromises, that is your right.
But a partnership with another person by definition demands adaptation to a certain degree.
Yeah I very much like being able to pick up and go anytime too. I’ve never liked feeling like I have to do something. I prefer to live freely but society always tries to box you into something. I like challenging myself, trying new things, exploring outside but doing that at my own pace for however long or short amount of time I want to, instead of being contractually obligated to fulfill a role for something like 8 hours and stay in that 1 place. Sometimes I might do some work on a youtube video and then come back to it later. I like that it’s my choice to do that for example. But in turn I also continually think about trying to obtain money because of society very much revolving around you needing it to do & aquire a lot of things.
trust me, you did knew a lot of people similar to you. and by what you say all of that sounds pretty normal
If you’re looking for someone just like you, there’s a quick and obvious answer: it’s you.
What’s the serious issue?
I’d be having a look at the specifics you feel you’re not getting, why they’re so important to you, and how else you can meet those needs.
I can understand wanting a partner, but not the ‘serious issue’ part. Why’s it so problematic for you?
Hi. I’m very much like you in that I’ve traveled, would love to travel more, and I think the experience is so much better when you meet people and talk stories.
I still wonder why the old Japanese woman took the model kit i was looking at and bought it, had it gift wrapped, and gifted it to me. I was 11 or 12. My thanks were simply inadequate- I didn’t understand what her intentions were or why. But it’s stuck with me and I frequently give little things to people.
Another time on a train riding north in Germany. I was in my Army dress uniform. Heading up to meet my grandparents who were visiting relatives. An old man kept staring at me. That’s German for “let’s talk”. He said they don’t need me or any help from the US any more. They could handle things. I saw he had scars and was missing several fingers. I turned to face him, exposing my name tag.
“You’re in the wrong uniform”
Maybe you need to get out more (i don’t mean to be rude) . Although we are all unique in some ways, you are like many, many people. As I was reading your post, I expected to read something shockingly unusual..
Bo Burnham has something to say to you.
I get tired of myself at times, lord knows I’d go bonkers if there were two of me.
Perhaps you should pick up a new hobby. I think having a unique look on life, and to be as passionate about growth and change as you are, is the perfect setup for an artist.
Sounds entirely normal. Odd you haven’t met others the same with all your travels.
You say there’s no one like you but your self description is much like everyone. Lots of people like to travel and stay up late. They even make movies about it.
The goal isn’t to find someone like you. The goal is to find someone you can’t live without, no matter what they’re like.
All I can say is, I get it.
What would you be if you were stuck in an empty room forever?
I mean, I’m 37 and I do the things you do and enjoy them and I agree that there aren’t many people like me but there are some. Like.. literally nearly everyone in the hostels I stay in are like what you describe. They like travelling and experiencing culture and food.
You’re living and others are existing.
We’re out there but not in the masses.
First of all, if you want a partner so badly why do you need someone who’s exactly like you? You’re not going to find someone who matches your personality perfectly. That’s an unreasonable expectation to have. Second of all, in all of your travels you’ve never met someone who also enjoys adventures and having a good time? I find that incredibly hard to believe. You should reflect on why you seem to be having a hard time finding a partner and see if there are some changes you can make to meet more people. Maybe talk to a therapist if you’re really having that much of a hard time
Go to new places . I grew up with live music and going to concerts and dancing. My best gf I have lived across the road from since I was 3. We had a great time. She had a bf who didn’t like live music so I went on my own. Life changes and 5 years later I met my husband to be. He loved travelling and live music. It happens
It’s like a feeling when you meet the right person….that you’re willing to compromise on the stances you previously thought you were firm on and you reach a compromise.
Keep being yourself and living your life the way you see fit. The right person will find you, slot in and either fit in or change your mind.
You shouldn’t change yourself to make anyone else fit. Unless you decide that their way is better. It will all make sense at the time.
Does that make sense?
I love when people act like they’re impossibly unique but then they’re like “I like to travel and stay up late sometimes,” and give you the most basic bio.
You sound like a pretty typical low-key trust fund kid. Like the type that makes an average working class wage in annuity. There’s a lot of people like you on Long Island.
The reality is what you want isn’t very achievable for most unless you are wealthy, and even then most don’t have the freedom to do whatever they want. Its also a bit immature way to be.
But there are people that are similar to you in wanting to travel, have no responsibility, and many younger people especially dream of the same thing you want.
I sometimes realize that the best friend to myself is me. I think it’s normal. People are different and it means that we all can’t be the same (but we can have something in common). For example, I have good relationships with people who surround me, but I feel like I am the one person who really understands me
Most people would love to freely travel the world, live on their own time, change their life up on a whim and their “good moments to last longer”.
Unfortunately people also need food and a roof over their heads.
There are many insufferable people in the world.
I’ve seen so many women that are basically soulmates for me yet they always seem to go for exact opposites of themselves. Polar attraction I guess. 😆