So last week on Tuesday I took a personal day off work cause something felt off with the way things were goin the past couple of weeks before with my fiancé. She had been strange about her phone kind of hiding it when she never did before. And keeping it glued to her at all times. Even staying up till 3 to 5 am when she had to work the next day at 8am saying she couldn’t sleep so she stayed up. Well While I was off work I decided to get some things done around the house like grass cutting etc… So a few months back she said that she thought it would be a good idea for us to get life 360 in case anything was to ever happen and I had no issue with it because all I do is work and come home. So on Tuesday during the day she kept texting me asking “wyd” about every other hour which I text her back and said cutting grass.. So she gets off work at 5 and from 4:30 to that time she was really blowing my phone up kind of making sure I was home. So 99% of the time she calls me when she leaves work and I hadn’t heard anything and it was 5:30 so I tried to call her and got no answer. I checked life 360 to make sure she was okay and it showed her in a vacant parking lot across from her job. So I knew something def was up. so I left the house and headed that way and instead of pulling up directly I parked down the street and soon as I looked that way I see her car parked beside her ex husbands truck. So I contemplated on pulling up, but I said no I will wait and see what happens. Well a few minutes later she gets out of his truck and gets in her car and instantly my phone rings. She gives me the whole spill of lies that she was helping one of her co workers catch a puppy in the parking lot. And I said that’s crazy. And she said what you mean? I said It looks to me like you were talking to your ex husband of 19 years of marriage 6 years of divorce that you have 2 grown children with. she immediately said I was crazy until I sent her a picture of them. And then she said she met him to get some papers for her son and all this other bs. But later says that she only kissed him and that she didn’t mean to. it was an accident because he talked her into it. Then she asked me not to go and that we can work through it. But I don’t know what to do about this now or what I want and I’m so torn because I love her so much. But her and her ex husbands oldest son lives with us with his gf and they found out about it and now they are mad at me because of having words with my fiancé about it. And they don’t want to speak to me anymore and she’s saying she has to choose her son over me about the issue and now if I go in the living room or wherever the son is they get up and walk away and the mom is saying she feels like she has to choose her kids or me. Not to mention her son and his gf went to his dads house today and came home and when they got here they whispered back and forth on the couch with my fiancé for some time while I was in the bedroom watching tv. But for now I’m still here trying to figure this out. But there is no affection from her what so ever no cuddling at night in the bed and if I do try to put my arms around her or something she says be still if your gonna put your arm around me. It’s like I basically have to beg for attention now or even a kiss for that matter. I just don’t know what to do I’m so torn about this… what would you do??? I still feel like she is still talking to him!!
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You said you took the day off because you felt something was up but just cut grass and didnt really react until 5:30pm.
Why take day off?
How long have you been dating
Behavior is a language. You need to get out of there.
If that is YOUR house kick them all out, you don’t owe them a thing.
If it’s their house, you leave and find better. You don’t deserve this.
You break up lol, simple as that. Of course your step son is mad at you for interfering in the opportunity for his parents to get back together.
Your ex-girlfriend, what?
Call off the wedding to start.
Even if her story checks out (which is dubious but let’s assume she is truthful), there’s clearly a lot of trust issues between you two, and you should not marry someone you don’t trust.
But you did catch her in a lie, at the very least she said she was helping a coworker catch a puppy, so if nothing else, you can confirm she has no problem lying to you. The funny thing is, if she came out and said, “I saw my ex husband and that’s why I’m late, here’s what happened,” there’d be less problems.
Anyway, I don’t think there’s any salvaging this, and why would you want to? You did catch her cheating, but even if somehow that wasn’t cheating, there’s still a hundred reasons to call off the wedding.
So she met her ex husband for a minimum of a bj, lied through her teeth about it, turned her kids against you and now is saying she is choosing her adult kids over you. And face it, she has been cheating for a while and the kids want them back together. You are a meal ticket at the moment.
So you are in a relationship with a lying cheater. What are you going to do about it? I hope your decision includes having some self respect.
Even if she didn’t cheat, why stay? This whole thing sounds toxic af. You don’t trust her, well, because obviously she’s at a minimum a liar. It probably wasn’t sex though, though I guess it wouldn’t be too hard in a truck. My money is on at least a bj. And how long do you think this has been going on? I mean the chances of catching someone the first time is small. If it walks like a duck…
What a bunch of immature brats. I’d leave that whole family!
Dude? Does it really matter? You don’t trust her. Is this her house, your house, or in it together?
If you can wait for her to be at work, pack your shit, and walk the fuck away.
Where’s the point? You saw what you saw. Nothing changes that. It doesn’t really matter what she says now, the moment she might have been truthful came and went, you called out exactly what you saw and she still went with bullshit until the photo was sent. Too late. There’s no trust, no basis for trust. You can draw this out attempting to salvage what shouldn’t be salvaged, but the sooner you understand the old family dynamic is something you won’t overcome, the easier it will be on you to move on.
Fuck dude…
Did they catch the puppy?
You know in your heart she’s full of lies. If you stay with her that’s what you are signing up for. Kick her out with her kids and move on.
The son , lives with you ?!? And his gf ?!?
And they don’t show respect to you , in your own home?!?
Kick them all out , IMMEDIATELY
DONT LET HER GASLIGHT YOU
What does she mean , she has to choose her son , last time I checked , you were not the one CHEATING !!!!
i feel sorry for you poor bastards going through this for the first time, not knowing how women in those situations react, not understanding the deflection and manipulation, preying on your reluctance to not do shit about anything.
you’re being played brother, and if you’re smart it only happens with one woman before you snap back to reality. next time you’ll be pro and cleaning house becomes a piece of piss.
Run. Period.
Updateme
Start choosing you, you know there is more to the story than she is letting on. It’s time to let her go.
She lied for a reason and you saw with your own eyes what that reason was!
She is obviously not wifey material and definitely not GF material. She is using you for her security and financial stability.
Tell her, her ungrateful son and his GF to get out of your house or if it is her house, leave and have some respect for yourself
She is placing her ex, her ex’s so. AND her ex’s son above you, your relationship and your dignity
Dude, you need to reach into your fiance’s purse and take your balls back. You witnessed her going into her exes vehicle to hook up then called you saying a dog got loose. If this is your house tell all of them to get the f out! If not you should break the lease and leave all this drama.
What do you mean you’re so torn? She’s clearly still banging her ex husband and so I’m not sure what you’re torn about? Pack up your bags and leave her ass along with her kids. Be thankful you’re not married yet.
The wedding is off. If you fold on this, sadly, these actions become the new standard for ‘what you’ll allow’.
It’s even more questionable she cant have a calm conversation with you about it.
It sounds like you should send her back to her husband. She deserves him, not you.
Updateme
You don’t have a fiancé.
From the beginning she has done nothing but bad mouthed her ex husband as an abusive person and all this bs. But why go back and do this. And then tries to justify it by saying that if I was more of a family man to her grown 20 year old child and his gf that this stuff may not have even happened. But I don’t need to father a fucking gown ass 20 year old that has his own child as of 3 months ago.
Honestly the hardest part about this is that I have a 7 year old son that has autism that calls her mom. And she has been good to him. But he doesn’t like change and does not do well with it. And most of his life this is what he’s known as his second home. And he’s not gonna understand not being able to go home😔
Bro
This is not a good sign my friend, it sounds like a hard situation but you need to be firm and not crack to her or them trying to ice you out. She lied, kissed the guy (wtf), and the whole situation with the family is a mess. Just get out, be strong you will thank yourself later.
What do you need to discuss dude? your lack of self-respect? Call off the engagement, pack your stuff and get out of there.
Come on she’s been holding her phone for dear life, coming home later, lying about when she gets off work, then you see her point blank with her ex and she lies again until you show her a picture!! Guarantee she would have been blowing him or having sex in the truck if you had gone over there!! Let me help you out and make it clear.. SHE’S SLEEPING WITH HER EX AND HAS BEEN FOR AT LEAST A FEW WEEKS.. Throw her and her kid out!! Or you leave if it’s her house..
Have some balls? You’re letting her, her son and his girlfriend disrespect you? If this is your house, tell them to get out and for the son and gf to go and live with his dad, if not your house, get out and find another accommodation.
Your lucky to figure it out before you get started. It will never end he will always be first in her eyes and not much for you it sounds like now. If its ur house tell her kick bricks if its hers see yeah. Good luck
Dude. Kick them all the fuck out of YOUR HOUSE. She just cheated on you. See ya. Seriously drop them all.
If it is your house, tell them all to move out. If it is her house, find a new place to live in. Her choosing her kids is the way it should be. Unless she has ungrateful brats, that is the way to go. Anything else would make her a terrible mum. But you do not have to tolerate his behaviour in your house. So, if you are the sole owner, you can ask them to all leave, politely but firmly. Just tell your gf it is not working for you, and you want to break up. The rest is just practical stuff. Who is moving out and how to split any stuff you may have bought together. I hope you don’t have any joint bank accounts or paid towards a wedding. But even those are things that can be discussed. Do not lose your temper, just stay calm and detach. She cannot be trusted and it may seem that the ex husband still makes her heart race. He may be the love of her life, whether she likes it or not. Some people just cannot let go of each other, even after divorce. This is of course sad, but it is a good thing you did not get married and then find out she cannot be trusted.
Dude…
Ditch your fiance.
then her son and the girlfriend.
Then go live your best life. It will get better, after a while. Sorry.