So I’m a broke little goblin of a human (4’11”, 100 pounds, 80% iced coffee at this point) just trying to survive this economy by selling spicy selfies and eating cereal for dinner. Life’s weird.
Anyways, I was running errands in leggings and a hoodie, looking like a raccoon that got into lip gloss, and I stopped at this cute cafe I’d never been to before. The barista was ridiculously hot – tattoos, smile that could ruin my life, The whole thing.
He says “hey, what can I get started for you today?” And my brain malfunctions and I blurt out “you.”
I. SAID. YOU.
Instant regret. Immediate internal combustion. But he laughed and said, “Bold choice. I’m flattered.”
I wanted to die but also… he made me the best vanilla oat latte I’ve ever had. It was creamy and just the right amount of sweet, and he even drew a little heart in the foam like he knew I needed validation in the form of dairy alternatives.
Now here’s the problem: I’ve been back there four times this week. I’m broke. I have oat milk shame. I don’t even know if he remembers me or if he just flirts for tips. But I’m emotionally attached to this 7$ beverage and his charming, ruin-your-day grin.
Someone send help. Or a coffee fund.
Comments
Good luck we have all been there and im sure as a guy he appreciated that moment as alot of guys dont normally get that type of flirting from women. We can be awkward so seeing others in their faults can remind us of the human experience in a way -from an awkward guy
Lol. Im giggling like a little girl reading your experience. 😩 also, the irony with you selling selfies and ended up using that money to find pleasure in being served by a cute boy. Hahahaha
ask for his number! and then if he says no u never have to go back
You made me grin! Thank you! And good luck!
lol it is a little ironic, ugh I would love for him to pleasure me with more than coffee hehe
If you were doing a proper job flirting you would have to pay for your coffee. Have you considered dating them?
Do what I would do . Keep going back and up the game . Buy two coffees and leave one for him . Go broke fuck it . You can’t spend it when your dead
“he made me the best vanilla oat latte I’ve ever had”
Gee, wonder why.
You should write and sell stories cause this was such a hilarious read.
Updateme
OP,
Laughing at the brain reset… love it. You probably made the guy’s day TBH.
Now that you’ve frequented the establishment you’ve got to either A. Shoot your shot. or B. Go about your life.
You’ll be fine either way. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do…
Gunna try and feel him out more today hmm
Go for it girl!! The worst that can happen is he says no and you have to change your name and fake your death and start hiring people to go get the coffee for you so you don’t have to be seen in there again
As a barista, let me reassure you that he is probably flirting.
This is so Tumblr-coded, I live.
kinda unrelated but this was so well-written and entertaining, you should be a writer!! 😀
Write your number on a piece of paper and give it to him next time you go. It either goes well or quit your addiction lol
You made him feel like a million bucks. Go for it.
Just ask the dude out, worst he can say is no.
Also, really thought this was an only fans ad, happy to see it isn’t
Give us an update with how it goes!
Well I’m invested in this oat milk vanilla latte tattooed flirty drama. Slip him your number! Then the balls in his court.
Ask for his number! Lots of people adore racoons so be bold again.Worst case, he will say no.
Please come back and report, i am very invested in this 🙂
Guy here. Why not just leave him your number on way out next visit?
Dont go for a week. If you go back and he is geuinely thrilled to see you then he maybe into you. He’s probably just a coffee slut. You’re one of hundreds of other girls (and guys) who bring him home the bacon. His employer must be happy.