I have been feeding chipmunks for many years. Some of them I have been friends with for 4 years. Yesterday I accidentally killed one that I’ve had a bond with since last year. I don’t know how to cope with this feeling of guilt and grief… I’m embarrassed and ashamed this happened. It’s been my worst fear so I’ve always been careful. But I got excited about feeding a squirrel and I turned around fast without thinking and I ran over the chipmunk with my wheelchair. I’m ALWAYS cautious and click my chair before moving but I didn’t because I was so excited about feeding the squirrel and I turned fast without thinking of my surroundings. all happened so fast… The chipmunk was coming up to me for his daily peanuts and… I killed him. I’m an absolute mess. I can never forgive myself. The chipmunk trusted me, and because of me he is gone. I was just hanging out with him for hours the day before and now he’s dead because of me. I’m in so much pain emotionally and spiritually. I don’t ever want to be born again because life is brutal and I just can’t handle these feelings of loss and guilt. Even though it was an accident, it doesn’t change the fact that I killed him. He is dead because of me and my heart is completely shattered. I took away his life, he will not be running around in the grass and enjoying the summer because of me. I cannot stop crying. Even though he was a wild chipmunk, my bond with him was as if he was my pet. I loved him with my whole heart. I feel so guilty and depressed that this happened. I don’t know how I can cope. How do I live with myself… I feel like I’m in a nightmare. Ive been hesitant to share this because I’m very embarrassed and ashamed this happened but it’s eating me alive and I don’t know what to do… how do I live with what I’ve done
I accidentally killed a wild animal and I cannot cope
r/Advice
Comments
Life is about balance. Nature’s ultimate prerequisite for living is the inevitability of death. For every act of death in this world, there is an act of life. You killed a chipmunk, you didn’t mean it, so simply keep the balance. Feed more chipmunks and animals. Give them more life. Nature forgave you for doing it already
So the average chipmunk lifespan in the wild is about 2 years. Because you’ve been feeding them, they’ve been there for 4.
You gave that little critter 2 extra years of life.
Avoid further mishaps by using the Pavlovian technique when you feed them. When you’re about to move, ring a small bell and toss some food away from you. When they go to the food, ring the bell again.
They’ll learn bell=food when we move away, very quickly.
I’ve trained wild deer using the Pavlovian technique, to come out of the woods when I call for them. I’ve trained cats and dogs, and even rats and a rabbit using it. It works.
I’m going to sound cold and heartless here, but I promise you that I am not.
You’ll get over it, that’s all it is. You’ll feel like this for a while and then one day you won’t. There’s nothing you can do or need to do, it’ll resolve itself with time.
You did nothing wrong, it wasn’t intentional it was a careless mistake and life is fragile. You don’t need to blame yourself.
I similarly killed my pet kitten, and I had bad PTSD about it for years. It took me two weeks to be able to sleep in a bed again, as it happened in my bed (I fell asleep holding it, taking care of a few week old kitten is brutal on your sleep schedule) I mostly just laid on the floor for weeks and cried.
I couldn’t sleep for weeks, I couldn’t look at a cat without wanting to throw up for years, and eventually I got married and when I laid next to my wife and if she touched me in my sleep, I would wake up crying in a panic attack trying to make sure she was still alive. Eventually, even that went away, and now I’ve even brought my other cat from my parents house to keep her with me again.
So you’ll get over it, and there’s nothing you really need to do to get there except wait and be sad. If you aren’t one to handle loss well in general, then perhaps therapy can help you restructure your brain enough to learn how to cope, but otherwise you’ll be okay with time.
Maybe it wanted to die and jumped under you. 🤷♀️
I can imagine feeling exactly the same way as you.
If it makes you feel any better, he probably felt no pain. And you clearly gave him a very good life, and while I understand your feelings of guilt, no amount will bring him back.
He knows you meant no harm. He knows.
Start reading some history books, people used to do the most horrible things on the regular. Heck, even today just watch the news. You’ll be fine everyone who’s normal has regrets like this