I [18m] and my twin sister Shreya both graduated high school this past school year. As it was senior year, we both applied to colleges.
We both got into good schools that we both liked, with a relevant detail being mine is very highly ranked and one of the schools that a lot of Indian parents brag about their kids getting into. Hers is still very good, but not so much one that’s seen as prestigious or bragged about. I’m not saying this to put her down, just to add context.
Anyhow, our aunt visited our city this last weekend and decided to invite Shreya out to a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant to celebrate, but specified she only wanted to take Shreya out, not me. I had what I thought was a good relationship with her, so I was a bit hurt and confused, but whatever.
She texted me later explaining why she only took Shreya out and not me, saying that she was sure I was getting lots of accolades and praise and that Shreya wasn’t because she didn’t get into a top school, so she wanted to make Shreya feel special. This reasoning still upset me, because a) I haven’t gotten any accolades, because my parents expect this and said just more or less that yes, I got in as expected b) it still feels unfair to me to leave me out.
So I responded with a curt ‘I see’ and left it there. But apparently she talked to Shreya and said that I seemed angry, because Shreya confronted me about this and said I was an AH for being angry over it.
I don’t think I am. Aita?
Comments
NTA, especially if you weren’t invited out anywhere else. Aunts probably shouldn’t play favorites at times like this
NTA But explain to your Aunt why you responded in the way that you did. That you were hurt and hadn’t received any of what she thought you were receiving. It will help to clear the air. Your Aunt also isn’t an AH.
People are allowed to do things without you. YTA.
Info: have you thought to have a conversation with your Aunt instead of being cold towards her?
nta, you didn’t throw a tantrum or cause a scene, you kept it respectful. your aunt may have meant well, but it still hurt and tbh your feelins are valid. Choosing to make one twin feel “special” by excluding the other isn’t it.
“Auntie, by excluding me to make my sister feel special you actually made me feel less special and uncelebrated and yes, that hurt my feelings and my feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s.”
NTA
Nta updateme
NTA but explain why you feel how you feel or people will just make assumptions
She probably just wanted to have a woman talk to your sister, you know? woman to woman
She probably thought u get enough attention as a (white straight) man, she probably just wanted to empower your sister. That is all….really no need to feel jealous
NAH. It’s fine if she wanted your sister to feel special, and it’s fine if you’re feeling hurt for being left out.
Just talk about it…but you’re definitely not an AH for how you feel.
Are you the golden child and your aunt is trying to balance things out?
Nta your aunts logic is bad and she should have had two separate dinners to celebrate each of you. It’s like she is using you not getting a fancy dinner to show your sister she supports her. This isn’t right. Your sister shouldn’t feel better because you didn’t get a fancy dinner and she did.
Updateme
YTA
She took your sister out because she’s getting ragged on for not getting into a more prestigious school.
You even do it in your post, so yeah, the call is coming from inside the house.
You’ve got the good school and the magic penis already. Can’t your sister get some comfort from a family member without you being a dick about missing out on dinner?
NTA
One time my aunt took my brothers and cousins all out and not me. Still don’t have an answer and I’m still upset about it. Especially because she whines about us not doing shit with her kid when that’s all we do. So fuck them and speak your truth
Someone’s got a case of the golden child. You’re dude going to a “better” school than your twin sister in a culture that prioritizes boys over girls. How about you stop being so fcking self absorbed and see from your twins side.
Boo fcking hoo.
YTA. Your aunt explained why she invited your sister, to help her feel better. She seems to have good intentions too considering your sister did not get into a prestigious school like you.