My MIL been obsessed with asking about when I’ll feed my son pablum. ” When the formula won’t fill him anymore”. She knows he’s breastfed 90% of the time. Formula for when other want to help, or if I’m not available.
I said I likely won’t, and also that I just changed his formula from cows whey to goats whey.
Around 3 months he seemed bloated,and gasy and I suspected the formula. I made the switch and he’s much better. (My son is 4 months old)
I was at her house for dinner with my son and husband. My son has a 6pm hard cut off with others. Even my husband. He wants nothing to do with anyone else but me. It’s his bed time, we don’t force him to stay up later this is what’s natural to him. MIL doesn’t like when he doesn’t stay up longer, because she over bearing. She over stimulates him to the point of being unable to eat or sleep properly.
So, its round the time he starts to get fussy. Knowing what I just told her, him progressively getting fussy and she’s upset he won’t “play” anymore – she proceeded to shove whipped cream into his mouth.
I was frozen in time. I couldn’t move. I was so mad. Cows milk, sugar,soild food WTF WOMAN!
I’ve decided to wait to talk with her so,I’m not seeming unhinged. However, I feel like I can’t trust her with him now. It’s my first baby and maybe others may shrug this off but she didn’t even think to ask. It made him even more upset.
She didn’t want to give him back, after repeating ” It’s his bed time he needs me right now or he will start crying”
Cue the crying- insisting she can “fix him”
When she can’t she, gives him to me and teases him about being a mamma’s boy.
She act as though she gave birth to my son. Like he’s her property. She ruined my Baby shower, because she didn’t get her own way. My son is born in December during her favorite holiday and made it a thing to be mad at me for recovering from a C-section. Instead of having my son in her arms.
MIL asks to see him so much I had to designate a day to see him weekly and now I regret it. My family isn’t rich, and they live further away. I always try my best to include them too but she refuses to even acknowledge them.
Thanks for reading this far, I’m having so much trouble with my MIL and boundaries. I don’t even know where to start.
Comments
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Somebody is acting like a spoiled brat and it’s not your son. It sounds like you fully understand him and meet his needs.
I can only imagine the rage you felt, it’s not just disrespectful it shows that her wants are more important than your sons needs (not to mention the disrespect towards you).
Perhaps it’s time for her to experience consequences?
I am ready to do a drive by at your MIL’s
What is your SO’s response?
Does your husband support you? He seemed to remain silent during this entire episode. HE needs to talk to his mother and tell her that her behavior is unacceptable, that she will not give him any food in the future and will return him to his actual mother when told.
You just had been talking about when you will introduce other foods to the baby and she was told not for quite a while, but decided to feed him processed dairy and sugar anyway. She knew you didn’t approve but your rules about YOUR SON do not matter to her.
For this, she gets a timeout of 2 weeks and you will only be visiting with the baby every 2 weeks from now on because the current schedule is not working for you.
If your husband refuses to do this, then refuse to see or communicate with his mother. As you are breastfeeding, that means the baby goes where you go and doesn’t go where you don’t go.
If he does not see the problem, then he needs therapy. You have to set boundaries for this woman. This is the hill you die on.
Time to go mama bear and protect your child. Sounds like MIL needs a time out – a month? from seeing LO. She’s proven she is dangerous to be around your baby and needs consequences for trying to physically harm your LO. This is YOUR child – not hers. And if your DH isn’t on board tell him that you won’t allow his mother to harm yourchild. And DH better get his priorities straight.
You can walk back the “designated day” and visits. My suggestion is your husband advocates for you and you withdraw.
“Mom, you violated motherbaby boundaries either the whipped cream at bedtime. You violated a special event (baby shower) centering yourself, and you’re displaying a pattern of disrespect and selfishness. This doesn’t work for us. All visits are abated for now and we will review later.”