Hi, I ‘66F’ have been in a relationship with my ‘63M’ bf for almost 3 1/2 years. I met him at work and in the beginning it was so great. I moved in with him around 6 months into our relationship.
During the course of our relationship we have been getting very distant. He sleeps on the floor and I sleep in the bed I bought thinking he would decide the bed was better than the floor.
There is no hugging, kissing or sexual affection for about 8 months now and I am really lonely even though we are in the same house.
Whenever I try and have a conversation about anything he flips things around and makes me look like I’m crazy or something. Or if he is upset he doesn’t talk to me about it and calls his daughter and then tells me that he feels much better that he talked to her.
I feel unneeded here. Especially I feel unwanted when he talks about his deceased wife all the time and how good his life was with her:( (rest her soul)
I do have my own house and I’m thinking about moving back to my house but I just want to move everything while he’s not at the house but he never goes out or if he does he only leaves when I’m at work and is home before I get there.
He doesn’t work and and is playing games all day. He’s not showering and never gets out of his T-shirt and sweatpants. Doesn’t comb his hair or make himself decent for me like I try to do for him. When I come home from work he doesn’t greet me and is glued to him gaming.
We don’t argue at all ( cause I don’t like to) I hold my tongue all the time just to keep things at an even keel but I’m not happy at all.
I’m not a confrontational person at all and just want to end things easily while he’s not here. I don’t have much here and most of it’s on the floor ( he’s made no space for my things) and I always still feel like a guest in the home.
Am I bad for thinking it would be better for me to just move out while he’s not here. Can anyone give me some advice or idea on what I should do?
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It’s time to move out and go back to your own life. He’s making zero effort in the relationship. Who cares if he is there or not. Send a moving truck on the weekend and if you need a friend to be with you so be it.
Move out. Life is too short. You’re in your golden years, dont waste them. We’ve all wasted too much time on people we knew we should’ve left WAY sooner.
If you were watching your life in an audience, what would you be screaming at the screen?
Good luck
You’ve tolerated this for 3 /2 years ? Come on. Take control of your life. If you have any important papers / documents etc – start collecting them and move those items firsts. Pack when he is gaming, I doubt he will notice. If you have a lot of purses or bags, put stuff in those bags and every day, take one bag to your car when you go to work. Your trunk will be full in no time. If you have big stuff, then pick 1 day, hire some movers, and have them pack all your stuff. If you can do this when he is visiting his daughter, even better.
You don’t even have closet or dresser space? Geez put your stuff in a black plastic bag, throw it in your car on your way to work and don’t go back.