I am a penpal for female inmates. AMA

r/

I’m not overly lonely, I have friends, work, and I go to school. I occasionally go on dates and I do have sexual options. But one day I heard about penpals for prisoners and so I looked into it more. I get pretty obsessive when I do something so when I first heard about it and started, in the period of a month and a half to date, I talked to over 70 women, whether briefly (most), or I continue to (handful). They all have various release dates, various crimes, and in various facilities. Yes, most ask for money. No, I don’t give them money. But I do return stamps through Securus and occasionally do phone calls with my favorites. Even just communicating is really expensive over time and some apps charge up to a dollar to send a letter. Some are 10 cents to send a text. Anyways, feel free to ask me anything!

Comments

  1. Ozok123 Avatar

    Thats the most common complaint?

  2. No_Recording1088 Avatar

    Are you man or woman?

    What country are you in?

  3. loamy Avatar

    What’s the most interesting thing a penpal has shared?

  4. Phireboy Avatar

    Do you exchange photos?
    Have you gone to visit any of them?
    Any plans to meet up with any of them upon release?

  5. No_Recording1088 Avatar

    What age group are the women?

    What sort of crimes are they doing or do you ask them? Any murders etc or ones who are in for long sentences?

  6. idoubtiexist_ Avatar

    Got the idea but I have to ask why? Do you get anything positive in your life as a result?

    At first it seems you’re spending money and time being criminals’ emotional crutch. Is that true? Would you consider it “true connection”?

  7. No_Recording1088 Avatar

    1 and half months and you talked/message with 70 women! Wow that’s a lot, how many per day etc you messaged?

    Are they in different prisons/different states or local?

  8. Red_Velvette Avatar

    Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode when George gets engaged to a prisoner?

  9. Cranberry-Electrical Avatar

    Why do you want to correspond with someone who isn’t available? It seems like a hassle to build a relationship with someone behind.  I don’t see the upside

  10. Timely_Tap8073 Avatar

    Are you worried that they may try to con you?

  11. SinCityLowRoller Avatar

    What if you meet one and they shank you?

  12. paperplanes2241 Avatar

    I have a (boring/typical) life – have career, raise kids, happily married to my husband, have friends and am very social- but have thought MANY times about being a pen pal to inmates. I think it comes from watching all those documentaries personally for me. Just another avenue to add interest in my life. I really dont know why. I wouldnt be looking for anything, not trying to change/enhance anyone’s life but if I did in the mean time- great! Anyway, just my perspective! I dont see anything odd about what you are doing

  13. Tight-Arms Avatar

    Don’t you scared of them what if they try to do something bad when they meet you

  14. HazMaTvodka Avatar

    Do you tell them your real name/ how much do you let them know about you? Do you think they’ll try to connect when they get out?

  15. nycsep Avatar

    How do you select the women you write?

    Edit: do you email or is it snail mail?

  16. Phireboy Avatar

    How do you even get started doing this?
    Do you have a PO Box? If not, are you worried that they have your mailing address?
    Do the photos get sexual?

  17. ReportBetter8469 Avatar

    Are most of the ones you talk to hot or no?

  18. sweet_pea2909 Avatar

    You mentioned one of them gets released tomorrow and you have plans to meet. You message these women with romantic interest?

  19. clothespinkingpin Avatar

    Are you interested in a relationship (not with them but in general)?

    If you did get into one, how would you handle the communication moving forward, especially for the ones where you’re their only contact and an emotional crutch?

  20. Cranberry-Electrical Avatar

    How much a month do you typically spend on the hobby?

  21. 1ntrepidsalamander Avatar

    What things have you changed your mind about since writing to them?
    Like, did you have any preconceived notions that have changed? Or learned anything surprising about the systems?

  22. Atschmid Avatar

    Are you male or female?

  23. strawberryfairygal Avatar

    Why not male inmates?

  24. Ummimmina Avatar

    Do you believe anyone you have spoken to was innocent?
    Did you find evidence of police brutality?
    Do you support BLM?
    What are the most common criminal offenses that you come across?

  25. ydnarb007 Avatar

    This is how I met my baby daddy 😂😂

  26. therhubarbman Avatar

    You know sending stamps via Securus is just a roundabout way to get money from you right?