I (f15) was raised by a single dad my whole life. He is a great dad, always made sure I was taken care of, learned to do hair and makeup for my dance, always made my favorite meals for dinner, gave the best hugs and cuddles, always read to me and instilled a my love for reading. I could truly go on and on.
2 years ago my dad got diagnosis with bone cancer. Just a few days ago we found out his cancer has spread all over and he’s getting put on home hospice. They gave him 6- 1 year left. Im still young and need my dad. Growing up my dad was a superhero. I’m just going to enjoy time my dad and I have together. Spend a lot of time with him when he gets back home.
I just had to share, this has been weighing on me heavily since I found out. Also if anyone has any advice I would appreciate it.
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I am really sorry to hear about your dad and I hope either he is able to survive his cancer or that his death comes peacefully.
For your sake also, all I can say is I hope, when and if he does pass, you are able to find someone close to you, family or friend, to stay with until the time comes to live on your own!
I’m sure he has done so many other things for you that you weren’t able to mention in this post so may his spirit always live with you.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis. I reckon spend every minute with him that you can. Ask him things. Get him to tell you stories. Get a lot of pictures and videos with him. My heart goes out to both of you
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through something so difficult while so young. My heart goes out to you. Here’s my advice:
Spend as much time with him as you get, and make it count. I recommend doing all the things you can enjoy together, like painting or watching sunsets and other things that will leave good memories. I also really recommend you get the journaling book “Dad I want to hear your story”, or any other one similar to that It will give him something to do for you when you’re not around, and it can be something physical you can keep for your whole life. Have him teach you the things you’d like to learn from your father. Cherish every moment, and remember that even when he is physically gone, he lives on through you. Keep your head up and I’ll pray for you both.
Make videos with him. Also have him make videos for when you are sad, are about to get married, have kids or any first you want him to be there for. I’m so incredibly sorry.
He sounds like the perfect dad, and I’m so sorry you’re facing this. If you ever felt it would help, would you consider being adopted by another loving, supportive family? Nothing could ever replace your father, but there are caring people who could welcome you into their home now and, after he passes, give you a family to stay with until you’re ready to live on your own.
Sorry dear. This is a very difficult time. I’m gonna be a little forward with this idea since I heard about it once and it’s stuck with me for nearly a decade. Why not start a little journal where you ask your dad all the questions you can think of and when he has the time and energy, he can write in the journal and answer them, while you’re at school or work. That way you’ll have a bit only the digital memories you make of you make videos, but you’ll also have something tangible and physical from him. And you’ll have a collection of his words of wisdom for years to come where you can thumb through and read what he would have said
I’m sorry to hear that
I’m so sorry. I’m actually going through pretty much the same thing right now, only I’m 38. And I still feel like a lost little kid.
Hugs for you, OP, from this Internet stranger. I’m thinking of you and your dad.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your dad. I agree with others who said to make as many videos with him as possible. Will you have someone who can take care of you once he passes?
You are getting so much good information here that I have nothing to add except: I’m so sorry, honey.
We found out my mom had cancer when I was 15. Lost her just before I hit 21. While the situation is not the same, you’re still grieving. No matter how much mental preparation prior to then, it will still hit you like a brick wall. The situation isn’t the same as what I went thru but I’m going to give you the advice I never got when I was your age;
It’s okay to be scared. To not know what’s next. To be horribly sad. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to question what will happen next, who will care for you, how you’ll move forward, it’s not selfish. It’s normal to have those fears
Please listen to me when I say to seek grief counseling. It will help the process and you won’t feel so alone. I don’t care what anyone tells you, losing a parent, especially so young is like part of you dying. I’ve been thru a lot in my life. Nearly died a few times. Nothing has been as painful as losing my mom.
Friends your age won’t get it. They won’t know what to say, they won’t know how to act, you may lose friends in the process, it’s not you, they are just young and many have not experienced a close loss at that age. It’s awkward and uncomfortable trying to comfort a greiving friend when you have no clue what they are going thru. Adults can be that way too, just not as common.
Make as many memories as you can now, take as many photos and videos as you can now. And I whole heartedly second the other commenters recommendation to make videos with your dad giving life advice, you have no idea how much I regret not doing that, it wouldn’t have taken the pain away, but it would have made me feel less alone, like I could have had some questions answered or at least heard her voice.
It’s hard kid. No matter how you handle this it’s going to be hard. There is no easy way to handle this. Enjoy the time you have left and do everything you can to keep your mental health as stable as possible.
I will say, all the firsts will be super difficult, every holiday, every milestone will be met with that reminder and a longing for them to see you in that moment, his birthday will be hard – when those times hit, don’t be sad, remember he’d want you to be happy, instead focus on honoring him in some way. Light a candle, make his favorite food or dessert, put on his favorite show or movie, do something that helps you feel close to him and puts the focus on the life he lived rather than the missed milestones, don’t spend those days sad, he wouldn’t want you to.
Do you have anyone to help you take care of him at home? Caring for someone in hospice is a 24/7 experience and not something you should try to do alone at your age.
Also, just want to say that I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please feel free to message me on here if you need someone to talk to. I lost my dad to bone cancer in my 20s so I can somewhat relate to what you are going through.
Love the video and letter ideas. Wish I had more from my grandma. My best advice (not that you asked for it) is to really take the time to live in the moment with him while you have it. You’ll have plenty of time for grief later. Is there anything he does or makes for you that you’ll wanna be able to do later? For example, my grandma made this weird little “biscuit on top of the stove” as she called it and no one in the family knows how to make. I’ve spent the last 4 years trying to figure it out and wish I had paid more attention and asked. Just really soak it all up.
I’m so sorry OP. He will be with you always
I would also talk to your dad about the things he wants when he dies.
Where buried
Money
Where u will live etc.
to ensure he has these things in place like will etc
Have him write in some birthday cards for you and give a little piece of advice. Especially milestone birthdays.
Ask him about his past. There’s a few journals that have questions to ask parents. Maybe instead of writing it. You can just record it and the answers. That way you also get some family history
I’m sorry that you are going through this! All I can say is try to enjoy the time you have, make some memories.
i am so sorry you are going through this, and as others have said: take all the pictures and videos you can with him, ask him about his life, get one of those books where people can write down facts about themselves and memories, losing my dad without anything like that has been the hardest part because i feel like every day i have a new question for him about himself
Virtual hugs OP
Sending hugs OP
I’m so very sorry and wish there was something we could do to ease your pain and worries. Sending you all the love and light.
I wish I had my dad’s voice recordings. I have some videos. Mine died 2 years ago from Alzheimer’s.
I lost my dad at 24 and he was also my single dad and a very good dad. I miss him so much. I’m now a therapist.. if and when you lose your dad, feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. I’m so sorry
As someone who lost my dad to cancer at 16, record his voice, take lots of pictures of the two of you together, and try your best to take in the time you two have together. Wishing you much love as I know how hard this must be on you ❤️❤️❤️
How old is your dad?
I am so very sorry.
Time and love is the best gift you can give one another right now. Time spent together is priceless. Talk as much as you can. You both love books, read to him and let him read to you when he’s up to it. Video everything you can. Have him call you and leave voicemails.
Give yourself permission to cry; and it’s ok to cry together but make time for laughter. Share the funny stories of growing up together.
Im considerably older than you are and I wrote the eulogies for both of my parents- it helped. It’s something you might consider.
Sending you love and hugs.
I’m so sorry sweetie! Please have your dad tell you stories of his life and get them on video. Have him tell you as many memories as he can recall. This will be memories for you to share with your kids if you decide to have them. If your dad is able maybe you get dressed up and you do a father daughter dance on video. Again I am so sorry for the both of you.
I really really pray that you are okay and you heal❤️make as many memories as possible, take photos, write letters to eachother, make videos, keep everything that reminds you of him. There are books on Amazon like activity books for ‘dad and me’ etc. they’re aimed at younger children but it is something you can keep forever. Make a scrapbook. Document everything, handwriting, his voice. Have sleepovers together. I am so so sorry you are going through this☹️
I am so sorry you’re going through this… no one deserves to lose their dad as a teenager.
I lost my mom last year. In terms of advice… I wish I had more videos of her, I wish I got a book for her with writing prompts for her to share her memories/experiences that I’ll never get to ask her about, and I wish I had a handwritten letter from her 💕
I’m so sorry. Idk what else to say other than I’m so sorry, and I’m sending you prayers and good vibes. Please lean into any support system you have right now. ❤️🙏
I’m so sorry, I’m 16 and I absolutely love my dad and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I hope it gets better for you and I’m so so sorry. Stay strong and sending love ❤️
Yes if I knew the time I had left w my dad I would record every moment even the mundane things. So sorry you’re going thru this I know it’s hard but try to do things you both enjoy as much as possible.
Make videos, but also ask him to write letters if he’s able to for you to open on certain meaningful days in the future – your high school graduated, college graduation, ones for if you get married or have kids but that can be opened with adulting advice later as well. Have someone else able to take videos for you if there’s things he wants to say that he doesn’t think he’d be able to get through saying with you taking the video. Take lots of pictures. Remember to put these pictures and videos on whatever cloud you use, but also download them and put them on Zip drives. Go and get some printed out as physical copies. But also remember to tell him how much you love him, and how much you appreciate him, everything you want to tell him no matter how weird you think it’ll sound.
I hope you have other relatives around you who’ll support you through this. You are sadly way too young to be without parents. I hope you have someone to talk to IRL as well.
Lost my father in law when I was 32…he was 51. He was like a dad to me. This is 24 years ago, and his sons are still messed up because they didn’t get any closure.
He found out he had cancer and was dead in 4 weeks. We were all in denial.
Make sure you spend time with him. Comfort him in his pain. Laugh and cry with him. Have tough conversations about the reality of it. Ask him what he wants for you and who he thinks you should live with…maybe he can help bridge the gap.
Make sure he’s OK with meeting his Maker and help him get ready for it. This will help ease the fear for him.
Omg, this is breaking my heart, I’m so sorry sweetie :'(
Definitely make videos & take tons of pictures. I hope you have other family that can step in & give you the love and care you deserve. If not, and you need help please reach out, there are people who would help you in a heartbeat. <3