My entire life people have told me that I’m too much. I feel like being myself is a mistake. Everytime a friend leaves me, usually without saying anything, I don’t blame them. As my friend group continues to spiral, I keep looking inwards for salvation. They say you can’t rely on external validation, which I don’t because I don’t get any. They say you need to love yourself, which I try to do. It’s hard being locked in my head all of the time. It helps me understand why people don’t want to be around me.
Comments
hi! can you give more context on being too much? what does that entail? maybe it’s not you, maybe they’re just not the right people to be your friends. be more specific
You don’t need friends. They are self serving. It works while it’s fun then it doesn’t and they move on. Focus on yourself. Learn to love yourself and find joy in your day
>> Every single amazing trait you have, every single dimension of your glorious, conflicted, ever-shifting self, has the ability to turn people off immediately. Why?
>>Because many if not most people don’t like to spot anything unusual or out of the ordinary in another person. You might be tempted to guess that they only dislike unique or interesting qualities at the very start of a relationship. But lots of people HATE TO ENCOUNTER ORIGINALITY IN THE WILD whether they’ve known you for three minutes or three years. Out of the blue, a secretly fearful or rigid person can decide that you’re not attuned enough to their particular needs, or you’re not muted enough, not regular enough, you don’t nod along enough, you’re too insecure, you’re too much of a show off, you’re too weird, you’re too honest, you say too much, you do too much, you think too much, you’re too much.
From “Rejection Isn’t Personal” by Heather Havrilesky