Maybe just don’t go out of ur way trying to date someone, just live. If something happens naturally then great. I think the problem is people often look for happiness in a relationship when they aren’t happy with themselves outside of the relationship. If both parties are happy with themselves before getting into a relationship it’s a lot likely to go smoother.
If that works. I am happiest with a partner, and that is the norm, and general expectation of society. You don’t have to accept that what people expect of you, actually works for you. Some people will be upset that this is your choice, but this has more to do with their insecurities than it has anything to say about you.
Enjoy your single life! 100% support from this random weirdo on the internet. 🙂
I am too, and it’s 100% better for me if I’m not, and I’m 50. You got 1 shot at life, and hope for 75 years, and they work you until you’re 60. Societal expectations will crush you if you’re not bought in, and totally committed. Companionship is literally at your fingertips (I mean dating apps you naughty folks!), so when you need it, you have it. In between? Contentedness.
If it works for you do it.
I’m a single dude.
I kind of have a girlfriend, we’re not totally committed.
We do see other people, and I am happier honestly.
I’m in my late 50s I lost everything again in my second divorce and starting over completely sucks so when you stay single there’s no starting over
It doesn’t need to be so permanent. I would recommend saying this instead, “I am happier when I am not dating anyone, so I should stay single for now”
Things change! You may feel differently in the future, no need to set expectations for yourself now about this. If you don’t want to date right now because it makes you happier, then don’t. It’s all your choice
You can always stay single for a bit, and maybe meet someone naturally (not purposefully seeking out interaction). I’m 45 and no longer have any interest in a relationship, but if I meet a plant nerd that loves dogs and camping, then I might reconsider.
Dating is tough but what about long term relationships?
You may also want to think about in 10 or 20 years and how relationships do have tangible benefits too.
Is it just the people you were with not being a good fit? Do you know what you are looking for in a partner better now? Do you think a partner that was a better fit would make you happier?
Do whatever makes you happiest. I lost my partner 2 years ago and I haven’t dated since. I realize that I am okay being alone and until I meet someone who is worth me giving up my alone time for, then I will continue being single.
If you’re happy being single then there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m kind of in the same boat. My last relationship ended 6 years ago. My ex gf was verbally abusive and would gaslight me all the time. She was immature. I had to do all the housework and take care of her cat (even though I worked twice the hours per week that she did). She even convinced me that I was the abuser in the relationship because I asked her to stop sharing details about my mental illness to our friends. I tried dating around on dating apps a bit but it never went well. Dating these days is hard, especially online and for men. I eventually realized how crappy my previous relationship was and how much happier I am being single. It’s like society says that you have to be in a relationship to be happy. When I tell people that I’m single, a lot of times I get the response of “oh well don’t worry, you’ll find the right person one day.” Like if it happens, great. But people saying that to me just makes me want to stay single too.
According to all the people who give me advice, I shouldn’t be dating because I’m unhappy being alone. Just do what’s best for you and be kind and considerate of others.
I think a good partner should be someone that elevates you and generally adds more to your life than they might take away. If you truly feel that you’re happier when single instead of dating someone, I’d hazard a guess that you’re probably dating the wrong people, but then again everyone is different!
I’m similar. I don’t like having to share my home and my free time with another person that I have to interact with the entire time; it’s exhausting and I can never really relax. But, I still like the physical aspects of being with someone, so the solution for me was to get a silicone love doll, and it’s been great. She provides a presence that I can interact with physically, but that doesn’t require me to sacrifice the peace and freedom of having my home to myself.
How do you feel when you are alone? Do you think at any later stage in your life you would feel the same? It really is about how you feel about it, nothing else matters.
I have the best gf ever. before that I was content getting laid by whomever whenever I wanted. I get addicted to having women chase me.
don’t date anyone. don’t pay for dates. meet for a drink, 7pm-ish time, you pay for your drink, she pays for hers. more often than not you’re getting laid that same night
I’m pretty happy and I don’t wanna date anyone, not everyone has to. I enjoy my own company, and the things I’d want out of a relationship are the things I get out of a friendship
There is a growing community of people who have decided that singlehood is the lifestyle that makes them happiest and the one they are meant to live. These people (of which I am one) describe themselves as “single at heart”. Bella DePaulo is a pillar of the single at heart community and has written several books on the subject, including one that is aptly titled Single at Heart.
I tried dating for years and years because I thought that was just what you’re supposed to do. Finally about 10 years ago I decided that hey, I’m so much happier single, so why am I going thru all the drama? Haven’t dated anyone since and don’t miss it AT ALL.
YMMV of course, but if you’re happier single, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Comments
Sure, if it works for you. Maybe you’ll change your mind or maybe not but that’s okay.
If you want to be happier, yeah.
Maybe just don’t go out of ur way trying to date someone, just live. If something happens naturally then great. I think the problem is people often look for happiness in a relationship when they aren’t happy with themselves outside of the relationship. If both parties are happy with themselves before getting into a relationship it’s a lot likely to go smoother.
Be the happiest you can be! If that means being single, thats what you got to do
Yeah why not. It’s your life so you can decide at any moment if you want to start dating someone again when or if you feel that need again
If that works. I am happiest with a partner, and that is the norm, and general expectation of society. You don’t have to accept that what people expect of you, actually works for you. Some people will be upset that this is your choice, but this has more to do with their insecurities than it has anything to say about you.
Enjoy your single life! 100% support from this random weirdo on the internet. 🙂
That is a very viable option.
You don’t have to make a lifetime decision, just keep staying single and keep not pursuing a relationship, be happy
Well, this sounds good to me too, cause I’m stress free (relationship wise)
I am too, and it’s 100% better for me if I’m not, and I’m 50. You got 1 shot at life, and hope for 75 years, and they work you until you’re 60. Societal expectations will crush you if you’re not bought in, and totally committed. Companionship is literally at your fingertips (I mean dating apps you naughty folks!), so when you need it, you have it. In between? Contentedness.
There’s a difference between dating someone and being in a relationship. Dating is the terrible middle ground between single and in a relationship.
You don’t have to date a single person, dating around is also an option
You could. But I thought the same and then I found someone I might keep instead. But I also want kids so staying single was never a real option for me
They’ll land right in your lap when you just do you.
I’m going to
If it works for you do it.
I’m a single dude.
I kind of have a girlfriend, we’re not totally committed.
We do see other people, and I am happier honestly.
I’m in my late 50s I lost everything again in my second divorce and starting over completely sucks so when you stay single there’s no starting over
It doesn’t need to be so permanent. I would recommend saying this instead, “I am happier when I am not dating anyone, so I should stay single for now”
Things change! You may feel differently in the future, no need to set expectations for yourself now about this. If you don’t want to date right now because it makes you happier, then don’t. It’s all your choice
Dated for years with numerous women and then I decided to take a one year break from seeing anyone.
It was the most peaceful and happy year in my life since I started dating.
I guess I just haven’t found that person or I’m just happy by myself.
You can always stay single for a bit, and maybe meet someone naturally (not purposefully seeking out interaction). I’m 45 and no longer have any interest in a relationship, but if I meet a plant nerd that loves dogs and camping, then I might reconsider.
Dating is tough but what about long term relationships?
You may also want to think about in 10 or 20 years and how relationships do have tangible benefits too.
Is it just the people you were with not being a good fit? Do you know what you are looking for in a partner better now? Do you think a partner that was a better fit would make you happier?
Do whatever makes you happiest. I lost my partner 2 years ago and I haven’t dated since. I realize that I am okay being alone and until I meet someone who is worth me giving up my alone time for, then I will continue being single.
Yep. If you start to feel differently at some point, then pivot accordingly
I was happier being single until I met the right person. I wasn’t looking for anyone, it just happened.
If you’re happy being single then there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m kind of in the same boat. My last relationship ended 6 years ago. My ex gf was verbally abusive and would gaslight me all the time. She was immature. I had to do all the housework and take care of her cat (even though I worked twice the hours per week that she did). She even convinced me that I was the abuser in the relationship because I asked her to stop sharing details about my mental illness to our friends. I tried dating around on dating apps a bit but it never went well. Dating these days is hard, especially online and for men. I eventually realized how crappy my previous relationship was and how much happier I am being single. It’s like society says that you have to be in a relationship to be happy. When I tell people that I’m single, a lot of times I get the response of “oh well don’t worry, you’ll find the right person one day.” Like if it happens, great. But people saying that to me just makes me want to stay single too.
Same here!!! It is like I relinquish all my control to the other person and it is really frustrating!!
Hello, twin. I don’t do well coupled.
According to all the people who give me advice, I shouldn’t be dating because I’m unhappy being alone. Just do what’s best for you and be kind and considerate of others.
I think a good partner should be someone that elevates you and generally adds more to your life than they might take away. If you truly feel that you’re happier when single instead of dating someone, I’d hazard a guess that you’re probably dating the wrong people, but then again everyone is different!
It appears so. Enjoy.
I’m similar. I don’t like having to share my home and my free time with another person that I have to interact with the entire time; it’s exhausting and I can never really relax. But, I still like the physical aspects of being with someone, so the solution for me was to get a silicone love doll, and it’s been great. She provides a presence that I can interact with physically, but that doesn’t require me to sacrifice the peace and freedom of having my home to myself.
I’ve been single my entire life and I have no plans to change that.
How do you feel when you are alone? Do you think at any later stage in your life you would feel the same? It really is about how you feel about it, nothing else matters.
I have the best gf ever. before that I was content getting laid by whomever whenever I wanted. I get addicted to having women chase me.
don’t date anyone. don’t pay for dates. meet for a drink, 7pm-ish time, you pay for your drink, she pays for hers. more often than not you’re getting laid that same night
I’m pretty happy and I don’t wanna date anyone, not everyone has to. I enjoy my own company, and the things I’d want out of a relationship are the things I get out of a friendship
There is a growing community of people who have decided that singlehood is the lifestyle that makes them happiest and the one they are meant to live. These people (of which I am one) describe themselves as “single at heart”. Bella DePaulo is a pillar of the single at heart community and has written several books on the subject, including one that is aptly titled Single at Heart.
I tried dating for years and years because I thought that was just what you’re supposed to do. Finally about 10 years ago I decided that hey, I’m so much happier single, so why am I going thru all the drama? Haven’t dated anyone since and don’t miss it AT ALL.
YMMV of course, but if you’re happier single, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I’ve been single for 25 years and I love it. I go on dates when I want some company and then I go home to my clean quiet calm environment.