I am jealous of my bf’s intelligence
I (21f) and my bf 20m both are in college together. Since the childhood I was very competitive about studies since it was really engrained in me by my father.So in college I also aspire to great like I did in school (which isn’t quite possible I know)but my bf is thriving at it. He is topping in every subject and I am very proud of him because I see him do the work but at the same time during one of our big fights he mentioned how he is better in studies than me and that hurted me a lot and I kind of challenged him back to wait and to see that I will surpass him and not just then he casually flexes his intelligence not just with me but with other people too (but still helps other with studies). Now that it’s the next academic year he is still performing way better than me and it’s taking a toll on me because i feel like I am staying to get jealous of him while being angry at myself for not doing well. I feel like I will start to resent him because of his little taunts. What should I do and am i awful for being jealous of him? Please help this is my first relationship i don’t wanna fuck it up just because of this
Tl:dr; I am jealous of my bf for doing better than me in school
Comments
I mean, you’re only jealous of him because he’s being a jerk about it.
Sounds like a jerk to me.. sounds very annoying lol!
In my personal opinion, I don’t think your jealous. I think you might have misjudged your own feelings.
I think what really pisses you off is his arrogance about his intelligence and the way he rubbed that into your face. When a normal person would respect and appreciate your kind of intelligence which is also brilliant but also more on different areas than his is. I work for someone whos a millionaire with 170IQ and this person has NEVER rubbed this into anyones face, I only have seen him encouraging people, seeing what his weaknesses are and knowing how to compliment the gaps he has with other people’s intelligence which he appreciates and respects. he’s never been arrogant.
It’s obvious that although your BF has the kind of intelligence (and most of all excellent memory) thats very beneficial in studies and understanding theory, he clearly lacks very basic intelligence when it comes to social skills and understanding the society around him. It is also more than likely that he will seriously struggle when it’s time to move to worklife. First of all, he’s built this ego where he thinks he’s smarter than others and trust me, this will be absolutely horribly perceived among colleagues. Other VERY likely thing is that unless he’s planning to continue as a scientics or academic career, he won’t be able to transform this knowledge into practical skills and competence.
The way he rubbed this into your face would make anyone mad. The way he’s positioned himseld above you and built this ego is infuriating.
The best course of action is to talk to him about this ego he’s started to grow and remind him that although he’s intelligent in certain things, he also completely lacks in other aspects. Not one person is intelligent in every aspect of life. Sure some people are more intelligent than others but even the most intelligent people have big gaps in their intelligence. You need to talk to him that his ego is becoming a problem, and people around him have started to dislike him and talk shit about him (this is not true maybe but it would knock him down from his high horse because hes delusional in the way he thinks other people see him) and now his ego has become a huge issue between you two. And he needs to carefully think whats important in life for him, because what he did to you is unforgivable. And unless he apologizes, he will lose you and everyone else around him.