For context, I am diagnosed with situational mutism. I left school at 13 (the end of year 8) when my mutism was starting to become noticeable. I was eventually diagnosed with SM, a couple years later, and started an SEN A-level provision at 16. My speech began to improve greatly after a year but due to traumatic events, I regressed significantly upon leaving.
I can, on occasion, talk to family or my closest friend but I haven’t held a conversation with someone else for quite a long time. As a result, I’m incredibly dependent on the assistance of my friend.
I attend university online but that’s the extent of what I can do independently. At 22, I have perhaps never felt more vulnerable.
It’s early and I’m bored so AMA.
Comments
Is it both communication and speaking? Like is typing this out difficult?
I was just remembering my cousin. He is my third cousin, I think. We’re about the same age. I would chat away and he would just smile at me whenever I asked him a question. But we were buddies. He rarely spoke. It wasn’t a big deal to me. Sorry- here is a question: do you think as you get older, you may get more comfortable with life in general and may feel like talking more?
Is it more of an inability to speak, or an unwillingness to speak?
And verbal secondarily?
What are you studying in school? How much more time before you graduate? What do you plan on doing after you finish?
Any bedwetting issues? Asking for a friend.
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How do you order food or go in public? Or do you strictly door dash etc?
You seem to be able to write well structured and good responses, have you ever tried writing down something you wanted to say and just read it loud, dont know if it makes sense but you kinda remove thinking part. Also if no one is around are you able to talk outloud, are other people the problem why you cant talk?
I’m completely unfamiliar with mutism in general. What causes you to go non-verbal? Is it like anxiety or is it completely different?
Do you sign?
Have you looked into therapists who would meet with you by using written communication with the intention to get you comfortable enough to eventually speak?
Can you drive?
Can you ride a bicycle?
Are you in a relationship? If not, do you hope to be one day? Or I guess in general how is your dating life?
Could you use some kind of text to speech app to assist you when you are struggling to speak?
Can/do you speak to yourself ? Like privately talking out loud?
Do you feel like you have a verbal inner voice ?
You mentioned leaving school at 13, was it because it just became more apparent to others that you weren’t speaking or were you more verbal prior to and slowly stopped as you got a little older?
I’m really sorry. It sounds super frustrating. I have a lot of social anxiety and spend a good portion of my life wishing I can participate socially but it’s like my mouth wouldn’t do it. I don’t know if that aligns with your experience. Do you find it difficult to make friends? Are you happy with the friends and relationships you do have?
Are you close with your family/have they been able to support you?
Thank you for doing this and sharing your unique experience and point of view with us! Have you heard of that recent podcast, The Telepathy Tapes? It’s about special abilities and insights shared by non-verbal individuals. If so, have you had any similar experiences? I’m on the fence about the podcast, something just seems a little off about it but I would love to know if there is some truth to this phenomenon.
Ok. So my son is 3. Barely saysba word. Happy as can be but just will not speak.
He can speak as he has said a few words.
It will be something like pop bubble as playing with bubbles. We praise him and he will not say another word for weeks. Occasionally say banana but again nothing then for weeks. So we know he is capable. So I believe he has some for of mutism.
Obviously to early to diagnose.
My question is intellectually, say learning. Are you and so could he be able to learn suffiently.
I worry about him growing up.
Would it be the same if you used sign language?
Sorry you have to navigate something so hard.
What country are you in? For some reason, I’m imagining the UK.
Also, you mentioned your ex (current friend who is with you most days). I have a sense he must still be in love with you if he is there everyday. Do you also still love him? If so, why not just be back in a relationship?
I’m a speech and language therapist based in the UK, and I’ve worked with a couple of clients with selective mutism. Remote speech therapy actually worked really well for them. Being in their own space seemed to lower the pressure, and the fact that I was just a face on a screen probably made things feel more manageable.
In some cases we started with them not even appearing on screen, or with my camera off as well, and gradually built up to vocalising when they felt ready. I saw real progress that way.
Just wondering if you’d ever consider trying teletherapy. It might be worth exploring.
Have you learnt sign language?
Do you or would you use a signed language? I also have speech problems (deaf not SM, I can speak whenever I want but it’s difficult and people don’t usually understand me that well) and I absolutely love signing instead whenever I have the option. Speech is overrated imo, it’s useful because it’s the ‘normal way’ to communicate but sign is so much more expressive and fun!