Trigger Warning: SA and abuse.
I (26F) have kept it to myself, I haven’t told my family, I haven’t made it public, but my step father Sa’d me when I was 18. He waited until he knew I was drunk and asleep and I woke up to him doing it. I freaked out and kicked him away and he stopped. Due to how drunk I was, I thought I had dreamt it up. Until my mother brought it up later that week. He told her that he tried to give me a hug and I freaked out on him and she laughed because it’s “so like me to not want anyone to touch me”.
I held it in for years, desperate to hold onto the relationship I had with my step father, considering the lack of a father relationship with my bio father.
But I recently had my own child and when I was pregnant and had no idea if it was a boy or girl, I was worried that my step father would do something to them. So I told my mum.
She chose him.
She told me that I needed to apologize to him for bringing it up.
And so I “let it go” in order to keep in contact with my 16 year old sister, now 18. I moved her out of their house 3 days ago. Police had to be called so we could get my sister’s important documents, they stayed because my parents were very hostile and trying to threaten me.
During this they (my parents) said they’d sue me for wasting police resources (I know, not a thing they can do), that I was a disappointment and that I was dead to them.
They’ve blocked me on everything and told my other siblings (6M, 9F, & 23F) they’re not allowed to talk to me. They’re messaging family about me and what I’ve done, as if my sister moving out was a shock??? Everyone knew she wanted to leave.
They were using her for free childcare, kept her homeschooled and wouldn’t help her obtain any independence by keeping how to do certain things from her, and ‘losing’ her passport and birth certificate (which they found pretty quickly when police asked). My sister also confided in them about sexual abuse and they kicked her out in the middle of the night with no phone and nowhere to go when she was 14. Our hometown is well known for gangs and attacks at night as well, so definitely not safe. Everytime she saw me afterwards, until last year, my mum would ask if she had told me, implying that she’d be punished if she did.
Anyway. I’m done. I don’t know if it’s rage or not but I don’t feel any love towards them anymore. I definitely don’t think I could ever forgive them. I’m debating typing up a message laying out what they’ve done and sending it to everyone in the family. Sending it to my father’s employees, since they were my co-workers and are still my friends, just everyone. Just let their entire life implode as everyone finds out exactly what kind of parents they turned out to be.
Imagine thinking you can commit or condone sexual assaults against your daughter and walk away feeling like you’re the one who’s morally correct just because I chose to protect my sister.
Should I do this or should I let them keep sharing their narrative?
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Backup of the post’s body: Trigger Warning: SA and abuse.
I (26F) have kept it to myself, I haven’t told my family, I haven’t made it public, but my step father Sa’d me when I was 18. He waited until he knew I was drunk and asleep and I woke up to him doing it. I freaked out and kicked him away and he stopped. Due to how drunk I was, I thought I had dreamt it up. Until my mother brought it up later that week. He told her that he tried to give me a hug and I freaked out on him and she laughed because it’s “so like me to not want anyone to touch me”.
I held it in for years, desperate to hold onto the relationship I had with my step father, considering the lack of a father relationship with my bio father.
But I recently had my own child and when I was pregnant and had no idea if it was a boy or girl, I was worried that my step father would do something to them. So I told my mum.
She chose him.
She told me that I needed to apologize to him for bringing it up.
And so I “let it go” in order to keep in contact with my 16 year old sister, now 18. I moved her out of their house 3 days ago. Police had to be called so we could get my sister’s important documents, they stayed because my parents were very hostile and trying to threaten me.
During this they (my parents) said they’d sue me for wasting police resources (I know, not a thing they can do), that I was a disappointment and that I was dead to them.
They’ve blocked me on everything and told my other siblings (6M, 9F, & 23F) they’re not allowed to talk to me. They’re messaging family about me and what I’ve done, as if my sister moving out was a shock??? Everyone knew she wanted to leave.
They were using her for free childcare, kept her homeschooled and wouldn’t help her obtain any independence by keeping how to do certain things from her, and ‘losing’ her passport and birth certificate (which they found pretty quickly when police asked). My sister also confided in them about sexual abuse and they kicked her out in the middle of the night with no phone and nowhere to go when she was 14. Our hometown is well known for gangs and attacks at night as well, so definitely not safe. Everytime she saw me afterwards, until last year, my mum would ask if she had told me, implying that she’d be punished if she did.
Anyway. I’m done. I don’t know if it’s rage or not but I don’t feel any love towards them anymore. I definitely don’t think I could ever forgive them. I’m debating typing up a message laying out what they’ve done and sending it to everyone in the family. Sending it to my father’s employees, since they were my co-workers and are still my friends, just everyone. Just let their entire life implode as everyone finds out exactly what kind of parents they turned out to be.
Imagine thinking you can commit or condone sexual assaults against your daughter and walk away feeling like you’re the one who’s morally correct just because I chose to protect my sister.
Should I do this or should I let them keep sharing their narrative?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contact a lawyer if you can. Even when something is true, a person can call it slander. Otherwise I say to tell everyone. Think about people that allow their daughters around him.
Do it. Ruin their lives. It’s well deserved.
Yes please do this. I cannot believe what they did to you both. Blow their lives up. Also, inform the authorities and put his ass in prison
Do it. Protect any of his future victims. Get him on a child predator list as well, so parents are aware their children aren’t safe around this man.
So there is still an underage girl living there? I would seriously consider calling child protective services. Also the idea of a lawyer is good. Get them to write a nice legal cease and desist letter
PLEASE DO
Why aren’t you filing police reports for yourself and your sister? He has 2 other defenseless potential victims at home.
You are absolutely within your right to publicly talk about what a horrific human being. Both of your parents are. Your stepfather for being a rapist, and your mother, for being an apologist for a rapist and not standing up for her kid.
I’m so sorry that you have been going through this. I think you’re absolutely doing the right thing.
Do it! Call the cops well child check on the other kids.call a lawyer as well. I’m sorry amd best of luck. May they lock those pigs up
Here’s the reality as I see it. Even if everything you have said is 100% true, and I have no reason to doubt any of it, you’re going to get sued. Sounds like he is a business owner or some sort of manager. I’d bet it all that you will be sued for libel by your step-dad. The truth is a 100% defense to a libel claim, however you still have to prove it. Can you prove it? Do you want to deal with the mess this is going to cause for you?
I know it sounds like I’m discouraging you from making the report. I’m really not, just wanted to mention this very real possibility for you to consider as you plan your next steps.
As an aside, what he did to you was straight up rape, not sexual abuse. No idea what the statute of limitations is in your jurisdiction, but he may still be in a position to be prosecuted…
OP,
Did he sexually abuse your sister, too? If he did, you both should go to the police and file police reports. I would also file a report with Child Protective Services. This monster should not be around kids; including his own.
What does your biological dad say about this?
Do it.
Save another kid from him doing what he tried to do to you and possibly also your sister. My biggest regret is not doing something about my stepfather’s abuse and allowing him to continue to get away with it. (My mom left him when it all came out, thankfully)
Your mom sucks and she shouldn’t even claim that title. I’m so sorry… You are doing the right thing helping your sister and I’m so proud of you.
Contact Children services. There are still kids in that house.
I would get legal advice then burn their life to ashes.
Maybe you can save your little siblings because he will absolutely do the same to them if he hasn’t already.
Go nuclear!
Call CPS and tell them what stepdad did to you. Your youngest sister will be his next victim.
Was sister23 attacked too?
My stomach dropped reading this. I am so very sorry you didn’t get the support you needed that should have come so naturally from a mother protecting their children/child. My mom chose him over me, too. I am the crazy scapegoat who tells lies and is psychotic for no reason apparently.. can’t continue even an isolated relationship with my mom because at the end of our visits she drives back up to the home that they share and where she chooses to continue to choose the pedophile. She made her bed and now she can lay in it unfortunately
Should have gone the nuclear option years ago. Protect your siblings.
Ruin their lives send everyone emails with police reports attached.