Hello, I apologize in advance for any grammar errors or spelling errors, I’m not the best at describing things. I am also not a frequent poster on Reddit so please bear with me
I, 22 F, am 33 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend’s, 24 M, child. This is both our first kid and it has been a roller coaster ride so far. He and I have only been dating since mid September and I found out I was pregnant in early October. Our whole relationship has been based off of me being pregnant with his kid. As he and I have been together longer, more issues have become apparent.
He is a gamer and games constantly, everyday and he used to game until 3 or 4 in the morning. It became an issue and it took 3 months of me asking and begging and arguing with him to get off earlier to spend a little bit of time with me or even just spend the day with me without gaming. He is also a complainer. If you ask him to do something he will moan and groan and complain and say things such as “I’m too tired” or “I just don’t feel like doing anything” or “my [insert various body parts] hurts” and in turn, I tell him to forget it.
Since about January I have been in constant, sometimes debilitating, pain and it’s just been getting worse. I’ve asked him to rub my shoulders or back or feet (he doesn’t like feet so I don’t normally ask) or hips and he takes maybe a minute to barely rub or help me stretch and even then 9 times out of 10 I’m met with a sigh or I have to ask multiple times before I get help.
The biggest issue has been him calling out of work and lying saying he was told not to come in. I have talked to him about it at least 3 times now and he has still been doing it. At least once or twice a month he’ll call out. Recently he called out for 3 days in a row telling me and everyone else he was told not to come in because there’s no work. I caught him in his lies yet again, and I’m at the point where I don’t trust him at all. I don’t trust what he says to me, I don’t know how I can trust him to be responsible enough for me to rely on him, I don’t know how I can trust that he’ll be there for me when our baby comes. It is the constant lying that makes it difficult. He picked up our apartment the first day but he mostly played video games or slept. He claimed he called out because his body hurt and needed to rest.
That comment alone made me extremely upset because I’ve been In agonizing pain and have gone to the ER a few times due to the pain and now prescribed medication to help ease the pain. I understand that he has a blue collar manual labor job and that hard work like that takes a toll on the body but I feel resentment towards him for calling out so much when I’m still going to work (an office job) and dealing with the pain on very little to no sleep. Any advice? He is a great guy and I do love him very very much and I want to keep our relationship. But I am almost at my wits end.
What should I do? Am I over reacting?
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Backup of the post’s body: Hello, I apologize in advance for any grammar errors or spelling errors, I’m not the best at describing things. I am also not a frequent poster on Reddit so please bear with me
What should I do? Am I over reacting?
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Well this is exactly why you don’t get pregnant with someone you barely know. And yes I know it was an “accident” but what did you do to prevent this?
I mean yeah he’s a loser but you’re stuck with him as at least a coparent so you need to figure out how to at the very least coexist and be co-parents.
You say he’s a great guy, but you were just able to write paragraphs about all the ways he’s upset you. You need to sit him down and talk about it. If you’re not able to communicate (and he’s not able to change) you’re going to have to co-parent instead of being in this relationship. Or you’ll be picking up after two kids instead of one.
Sounds like your gonna be raising 2 kids sadly…. Tell the boy either stay and play your videos games or be a man and a father or get out .
Ultimately you can break up for any reason or no reason at all. Now you need to think long and hard about your decisions and how you’re going to do them. Now I see you have a job so ultimately you need to determine if that job is going to give you enough money to be a single mom who will be co-parenting. If it’s not then you need to come up with a plan to get a better job that pays more. Now you can do things like go back to school to get into like a trade program or do some sort of like nursing or Radiology to make more money. You can do this while you are still living with your partner. This way when you do separate you will be in a much better Financial situation. You also will have to come to terms with the fact that most court systems you will be doing some sort of 50/50 child care plan. A lot of people are switching to more of a week on week off switching out on Wednesdays type of schedule. This is also if your partner actually takes their child during their time. You might get some sort of child support but I wouldn’t depend on it in any type of way because it’s not always guaranteed especially if you’re 50/50 and you’re making similar amounts. Your partner is not going to change who they are you can just decide what you want to do out of the situation and make decisions based off of what’s best for you not what is best for you guys as a couple.
This is going to be your life. Always worrying if the father of your child is going to bother to go work; knowing that he’s never going to do anything to help you without you having to beg and then him acting like it’s some huge favor; having to take care of you kid all alone bc he’s more interested having fun than being a dad.
So you have to decide if this is how you want your life to look.
Get out, before the baby. I can’t even imagine the resentment that is going to continue to build, and you’re going to explode at some point. He sounds like an awful partner.