18F I don’t like myself and I don’t like my life. I’ve been proactive in making it better but it doesn’t feel any less bleak than it already is like I’ve done an internship and I have a job. And regardless, I have been feeling sad. I’m alone and have nobody to confide in, nobody to relate to. I may have people who seem like they’re there for me, but they’re not and I already know from experience how draining this could all weigh on another person. I mean that’s not an issue. The point is I am miserable, I hate myself and I feel so alone.
It’s frustrating that I haven’t gotten numb to the feeling when I feel it all the time. When I try to escape it, when I felt petty about it throughout my upbringing. Why can’t I give up? Stick to a new mindset already? I hate myself, I hate that I’m a fucking idiot. I know better, see how I could live better if I thought this way but I can’t do better. I constantly fall into these types of patterns where I get attached a person’s kindness too much than necessary that the memory of it gets dragged than it needs to be. I tell myself that neither of what I feel matters or that I much better with neither of them. But I can’t stop feeling lonely no matter how much I tell myself that there’s nothing wrong with being alone.
Because of what I have felt, I haven’t been able to function properly. I have all these goals and ambitions to optimize my life. but I have been distracted, and now awful again. And it makes me so angry.
I wish I had a different personality, because I can’t keep being hung over over something I cannot change. I’m constantly preoccupied about the idea of having a connection and it’s really frustrating. And I’m so disappointed in myself.
Comments
I kinda in the same boat😭 (18m), actually so depressed. It’s hard to get out of bed every morning
Idk I was gonna vent but I’ve done enough today 😅🫠
You can always talk to me about your feelings if you don’t want to be judged or just want to get stuff off your chest 😁
I genuinely hear you bud. That feeling of being in a room full of people but feeling utterly alone is incredibly tough, and it’s a sign that you’re going through something significant. Please know that it’s okay to feel this way, even though it hurts like hell right now. I understand some of that struggle personally; I’ve been dealing with bipolar depression and PTSD for over a decade, and the tough days are definitely real. But I want to share that with the right support, for me, that’s been therapy and medical help, it is possible to find more light. It’s not a magic fix, and I still have hard days, but there are more better days now.
One thing that honestly made a big difference was finding a hobby, something I could pour a little energy into just for myself. Seriously, I was terrible at it initially, but slowly getting better and seeing that progress gave me a real sense of accomplishment and helped shift my focus. Your feelings are valid, and while it might not feel like it now, there is hope for things to feel less bleak
I know how you feel I was like that at your age I’m 48 and believe me you have to make a change of mindset or things get worse if you need to talk dm me I’ll answer you
It is okay to be lonely, but humans need human interaction. It’s easier said than done, but try developing more platonic relationships. Ones with people who understand you. What i learned from being depressed is that everyone needs a purpose. Without it, you feel lost and out of place. You need something that will bring you down to earth. That will make you embrace the good and the bad. When I get like this, I go to nature. It reminds me that none of this is important and pushes me to strive for peace. Where do you want to be ultimately? What feeling do you want to hold onto after you’ve achieved everything?
There isn’t anything wrong other than your state of mind? I don’t know, it’s just when I eas lots of food I too can get anxiety and depression.
When we are maturing, our bodies are naturally going to want to push ourselves to be what we’re made to be. So it’s going to want to find relief in doing other things. Like making us worried all the time?
It’s just an excuse because we are probably tired of being stuck in the same place in life. So a good diet, exercise like going to the gym and getting into shape.
Also when people take care of themselves. Like how they look and being presentable to others; I’m sure we all could feel better about life?