I 18F come from a single mother household with four siblings. I am also a university student in a third world country. My mother was employed as a permanent chef in a restaurant since I was born,but became jobless in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic since the restaurant had to shut down. It’s been a struggle for her to find work since so she relies on odd jobs and cooking gigs to support us all. Recently my grandma got really sick and had to undergo surgery which not only left us broke but also in a lot of debt. Currently I’m writing this in my single room apartment that I owe two months worth of rent planning to flee at night. My school fees has not yet being paid which means I can’t sit for my end of semester exam. I had lie to my mom that I found a scholarship that pays for my tuition and living expenses since I didn’t want to stress her more than she already is(she has hypertension). I just need to get this and some tears 😠of my chest. I honestly don’t understand what is going on ðŸ˜.
*Forgive my grammar English is not my first language.
Comments
Sounds like a nightmare. I’d stick it out till they kick you out. Does the school not have a bursary?
Why aren’t you living with your mother? You don’t have any incomebut you live in an apartment?
hmm mybe a go found me could work if you’re lucky?
You’re not a failure, you’re just out here doing the impossible with no safety net. That’s survival, not weakness.
Are you able to work? Can you maybe apply for any grant money, or student aid? Not sure how that works where you live. Most schools in the US will get you on a payment plan if you can manage one with a job, or otherwise offer financial aid. Anything of value you can sell, like a gaming console or tablet that might help?
I worked full-time throughout my college years – I had a baby and bills to pay, sometimes I had to pick up a second job to get by – and I still had to borrow about $35k to finish college. Took me 7 years to pay it back, which was 3 years faster than scheduled. I convinced one employer to help pay my tuition to retain me when the repayments first started, but after about a year I left for a bigger regular paycheck.
And you know what? Every last bit of it sucked more than words can convey. Just one giant suckfest after another of trying to survive, trying to make it up the corporate ladder. It took 12 years before I saw any light at the end of that tunnel. But I started with the mindset that I was going to be successful or I’d die trying, failure wasn’t an option. And I came out on the other side better for it – the hustle, the sleepless nights, trying to write papers and do calculus homework at little league games, the almost entirety of my 20’s I “missed out” on – totally worth it to be where I am now.
It’s harder now. It’s a different time, housing is outrageous, life is more expensive, I wonder sometimes if you put 19 yr old me and my baby in 2025 if I could make it again and buddy, I’d love to tell you yes but I sure wouldn’t want to try. It was ungodly hard the first time, and I had some luck on my side too, I can’t even imagine what it would be like today. So I guess my point is – run with the right mindset, pure grit and determination can help you move mountains out of your way, but you’ll need some luck along the way.
Just remember sometimes what we see as setbacks are the best thing that could have happened. Here’s a fun one for you – back in 2004, I had a two yr old and worked at a pharmacy as a tech and I also was a janitor on the weekends scrubbing floors and toilets at a car dealership to make ends meet. One Saturday afternoon I’m driving to Walmart and get rear-ended by some jerk going 60 mph. Car was totaled, they hit me so hard (I was at a stoplight) it ripped the back of my car in half and shoved me into the vehicle in front of me. I’m a single mom that just lost her vehicle, oh no!!
Well the pharmacy got robbed that day, definitely an inside job. I have proof up the wazoo it wasn’t me, I was at the hospital getting treatment for getting sucker punched in the face by an airbag. And, I had barely any money but it was tax time, so I spent my tax check on a used car, paid for it in full, and I got to quit my second job because my car payment was gone! What seems like a real “”FML” moment was a blessing.
So – roll with the punches, and keep trying to move the needle forward in terms of your own success. Try to reserve judgment on the “bad” stuff – some things seem terrible at first but turn out fine. All is never lost. I promise, I’ve lived through some really bad days, I know. All isn’t lost, you’re going to find your way. It might not look the way you thought, God knows my journey isn’t what my 18 yr old self saw coming. But it worked out better than I could have ever imagined in those harder years.