My husband (M26) and I (F23) have been together for 6 years. We recently had our first baby, and I don’t know the last time he called me pretty without me prompting it.
I brought it up to him almost a week ago, that I really needed to hear it—especially now, postpartum, when I don’t always feel like myself. And still, nothing. I try to look nice when we FaceTime while he’s away, I send him photos, and I hope that maybe he’ll say something, but… silence.
He’s never been super vocal with compliments, but I’ve asked so many times. Even if he didn’t fully mean it, hearing it would still mean so much to me. I feel like a broken record, always asking and never receiving. And what hurts is—it costs nothing. It takes no time. Just a simple “you look beautiful” once in a while. I’m not asking for grand gestures.
I wish I could keep reminding him, but honestly… what’s the point? I feel like I’ve given up on that part of us. I do everything I can to be a good wife. I care for our baby, I keep the house running, I try to stay emotionally available for him. I give so much. And this one small thing that I need—just a word here or there—feels impossible for him to give.
It’s been almost a week since I last asked. And it’s coming up on 3 weeks since we had a bigger conversation about the things I’ve been struggling with. Nothing has changed.
It feels like I’m just his roommate again. Like we’re back to year 3 in our relationship, when we had a rough patch. I can’t shake the feeling that he misses who I was before the baby—before the weight gain, the stretch marks, the late nights, the exhaustion. He’d never say it out loud, but my gut tells me.
I’m only 23. And I feel stuck in a one-sided relationship. I love him with everything in me. And I know he “loves” me. But I don’t think it’s the same kind of love anymore. Not the kind that makes someone look at you and call you beautiful just because they see you.
Will he ever be attracted to me again? Did having our baby ruin everything? Am I just… not enough anymore?
I don’t know. I just needed to let this out.
Thanks for reading.
TL;DR:
Together 6 years, recently had a baby. I (F23) asked my husband (M26) to call me pretty because I’ve been struggling with my postpartum confidence. It’s been almost 3 weeks—still nothing. I keep trying to feel seen and wanted, but I’m starting to give up. I love him deeply, but it feels one-sided now, and it hurts to wonder if he still sees me the same way.