I recently turned 30 and I struggle with loneliness. I have a few friends and family, but I’m not really connected to anyone. My dog and cat passed within 18 months of each other. I live with my younger sister and niece, but I have a strained relationship with my sister and really hate being around her, and my niece keeps to herself and I’ve never really been able to create that connection.
Romantically I have absolutely nothing going on. I have a best friend but she wants to move away and after she leaves that’s it for my friends.
I stay at work, or I sleep in my car because I hate going home. There’s nothing to look forward to except the four walls. It’s the same thing everyday. Work, and then come home and try to manage my feelings. Sometimes it feels likes my heart physically hurts because I am so sad that I have no one or morning to look forward to.
And I feel despair. Like how long am I going to be lonely? I can’t see a future for myself other than just trying to manage day to day.
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You need to look into therapy OP. That’s going to be step 1. While you do this, start getting physically active in any form you enjoy or can access. That can be going for a walk, a run, yoga, or just going to the gym and trying out different exercises.
Moving your body regularly helps regular our emotions and improve moods significantly. The combo of working out + therapy will help a lot.
I’m sorry you are having such a bad time. There are things that will help, but you’re going to need to put in some work.
Go to the shelter and adopt another pet. You will save a life and gain a friend for life. You will have something to lovecand this is a wonderful way to honor the memory and love you shared with your other pets.
You need to get out and meet people in order to make friends. Lots of people. As many as possible.
It’s easier to make friends when you share something in common. So start with these things:
If you’re in school, do extracurriculars and join student clubs.
Take up a sport – play on a team, go hiking, etc
Start some new hobbies and hang out where those people do.
Take a class in something, like dance or cooking. These add to your social skills, and, again, you meet people
Join social groups and clubs
Join a singles group
Find a house of worship if you are religious.
Make the rounds of the nightlife. Pick a favorite club and get to know the regulars
Try out for a play if your town has a community theater, or work backstage building sets, making costumes, etc
Start a band if you play a musical instrument – or learn to play
when you start meeting people, give a party and encourage everyone to bring a friend. This doubles your group exposure. people you invite to parties will ask you back.
You CAN do this. Make friends and build your family out of them if you aren’t close to, or don’t have your own.
See your doctor if you think you might be depressed. If you are, meds and therapy are available. You don’t have to suffer, and shouldn’t.
Please try these things. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
You seem to be stuck in your currnt situation. the first most important step is to move out and find your own place. Is there a reason you havent doen this yet?
I know this feeling all too well.
First, try to make your space yours, even if it’s just your room. Add things that bring you comfort-a soft blanket, a lamp with warm light, or even just keeping it super clean so it feels less chaotic. Small changes can make it feel less like a prison.
If being around your sister sucks, minimize interaction. Headphones, staying in your room, or even just being out more can help. With your niece, low-pressure stuff might work -ask her about a show she likes or leave a snack for her with a dumb note. No pressure, just tiny bridges.