I don’t usually share things like this, but I can’t keep it inside anymore. I’ve carried this weight alone for too long, and maybe… just maybe, someone out there can understand what I’ve been through.
I was bullied — not just by classmates, but by my seniors and even my teachers.
I used to be a confident kid. I didn’t care about looks or what others thought. I was the shortest in my class, skinny, quiet, and kept to myself. But still, I had some kind of belief in myself… until everything started to fall apart.
At school, I’d sit on the last bench all alone, eating lunch alone. I remember girls making disgusted faces when I entered the room — I got used to it. I adapted to that cold, isolating environment. But the real pain began when the teachers joined in.
They tore my homework apart, threw it in the dustbin, and made me pick it up in front of everyone. They’d kick me out of class for no reason. My confidence slowly cracked until it shattered.
Once, in 4th grade, during a free period, I was sketching quietly. A girl’s water bottle spilled on my drawing. I wasn’t mad — just shocked. I yelped from the sudden splash, and the PE teacher sitting nearby called me up and asked, “Why did you dare to shout in class?” Before I could even speak, he slapped me so hard the entire class went silent.
That moment changed something inside me. I stood there, holding a wet sketchbook, tears filling my eyes, words stuck in my throat.
I had done nothing. But the pain didn’t care.
After that, I became withdrawn. I started stress eating, gained weight. And soon, I wasn’t just the “quiet kid” — I was the walking punchbag, the fat joke of the school.
Even seniors would grab my collar, beat me, provoke me — I used to just take it.
Until one day, I didn’t.
In 6th or 7th grade, a senior pushed me too far. I snapped. Years of rage I didn’t even know I had boiled over, and I beat him down. I made him kneel. You’d think maybe then I got some respect?
Hell no.
I became the “villain” — the disrespectful one, the one everyone avoided.
No teachers wanted to deal with me.
No students wanted to talk to me.
But for the first time, I saw fear in their eyes — and I liked it. That scared little boy wasn’t coming back.
I fought everyone. I never lost a single fight in school after that. I was the rogue, the scary one, the “crazy” kid who beat a 9th grader as a 6th/7th-grade nobody.
But behind that image, I was still broken. Still silent.
Still alone.
Puberty hit during lockdown, and I shot up to 6’2″, got broad shoulders, and started working out hard. I became strong — on the outside.
I joined Taekwondo, reached the national level, got recognition in my city.
Even the PE teacher who once slapped me didn’t dare touch me now — but he’d still taunt me with words, knowing they still had a sting. I ignored him. I was a fighter now, literally.
They put my picture up on the school’s hall of fame, but guess what? Within two months, they took it down.
And in my farewell, when every teacher was giving their final words to students — small, kind things like “I love your smile” or “You’re curious and bright” — my Bio teacher looked at me, paused, and said:
“I hope you study well… because I don’t want to teach you again.”
She humiliated me in front of 200 students.
My eyes were burning. The whispers, the giggles behind me… they broke me more than any fist ever could.
That day, I didn’t cry. But inside? I was in pieces.
After school, I felt nothing but emptiness.
I moved to another city, trying to start fresh.
But when I see students laughing, hugging, couples walking hand in hand, girls texting their guy friends cute stuff…
I feel this boiling pain inside me. Like why not me?
Why didn’t I deserve even one friend like that?
Why didn’t any girl ever just say, “Hey, dumbo, wanna go for a walk?”
Sometimes I scroll through reels, seeing people live the moments I never had — and it just makes me hurt more.
I work out, I’m 6’2-6’3 now, with muscle, with broad shoulders. I’m stronger than ever. But nothing changes.
I’m still an introvert, with low self-esteem, zero communication skills, and no clue how to let someone in.
Sometimes I wonder if all this effort — the strength, the body, the reputation — was just a mask over someone who still wants a hug. Still wants a friend.
I became the guy no one dared to mess with — but all I ever wanted was a hug and someone who gave a damn.
If anyone out there can relate… just let me know I’m not alone.
Comments
Hugs 🫂
I’ve experienced that pain all too often. Every day I try to block those memories out…it never works. I hope you finally find the healing you deserve 🫂
You’re incredible, truly. The strength it takes to go through what you have and still share your story, it’s nothing short of inspiring. I’m sending you so much love and respect. You may not see it now, but you’re already on your way toward healing. One step at a time, and you’ve already taken the bravest one.
Sending you loads of love and Hugsssss 🫂 🤗
I cried reading this. It hurts me that people can be so cruel to others just because of appearance or the way they are. You don’t deserve any of that, never did at all. I hope that all of those people who hurt you will eventually be wronged for their actions. Right now, you need a hug from me and I want you to know that you will never be hated from me 🫂through all of the pain and suffering, you will heal and grow to be a stronger person than you ever were. Thank you for taking the courage and being brave for sharing a very sad and dark story about yourself. I’ll be here for support 🫶🏻
You’re definitely not alone. Hurt and fear easily turn into anger and resentment. I was so angry all the time until one day I realized it was hurting me more than anyone. Once I learned to love myself again I was open to someone else to love me. My tribe is very small but they count. Put yourself out there, it may take time b/c people can be assholes but you will find your tribe.
Sorry I’ve been through similar but nowhere near as bad. People say behind my back how I never smile. I seem so serious. I basically cut off the world. I don’t go outside unless it’s for the usual: work/groceries/car maintenance/laundry. I used to work out a lot more but that was used against me even to this year. So I stopped for months. I’m at a crossroads where I’m debating picking it back up.
That sucks man, I’m sorry people were so cruel. Have you considered steering into the strength and fitness thing? Find a powerlifting gym or something. The fitness community got me out of my shell in my 20s, maybe it can work for you too. Those people can get very close.
Man I’m sorry to read that. Went trough a bit of a similar path when I realized punching working damn well to fix issues . But on the contrary to you, it actually helped me to bond with a lot of people
Dude wtf I’m still pissed over a teacher slapping you! Where were your parents? You deserves so much better I’m sorry you were so failed. Don’t give up, keeping working on you within. Don’t be fooled by social media either, most those people are faking it.
Youre definitely not alone my friend! I’m 49m years old, can be the life of the party so to speak but always go home alone. I was also bullied, often by my own family as well as at school. If you ever want to chat my dm is open to you!
What a shitty world does to a mf. Still you handled it way better than most.
I may be just an internet stranger buy I’m your brother your post will always be there with me. Hearing my heart out of someone else’s mouth is I don’t know but I do know your my brother.🤜🏽🤛🏽
i did the same, as a kid i was introverted, autistic and i got the same crap, bullied until one day i didnt take it, they hit me with a spitball and i got out of my chair and pinned the kid to the wall by his collar likely yelling in his face alone the lines of “this is what happens when you dont leave me the fuck alone” got told after the fact that if it wasn’t so close to us leaving school i would have been expelled
left that crap hole, and the anger turned into confidence, i hit puberty properly, got a girlfriend and became popular, i wasn’t scared i was more assertive, took that into my adult life, now i dont try to impress people, i dont try to dress nice and i dont give a damn what weight i am or how i look, and im honestly happy. i like my quiet i like the predictable and i have no issues telling people to go away if they try to disrupt that for no good reason
go if i could go back and change how i was treated i would, i was fighting some fucking demons (a toxic father who found my depression and pain funny, tried to teach me to bottle it up because a man controls himself) so i guess i was not a man because i was sui*cidal, crying daily and hiding in my room for days at a time playing world of warcraft (my online friends at the time are definitely why im still here, im grateful to them even if they arent in my life anymore)
couldnt talk to people
couldnt talk to girls and after one girl i liked laughed at me when i told her that i liked her, i suppressed that shit too
my one major fault that i can identify is i still remember, still carry that anger and i still shut down when anyone shows genuine interest in my life, i spent years in child therapy talking about things and it changed nothing for me so i dont use therapy, i dont talk to people either its easier to plug the leak than fix the pipe at this point… so to speak
im not in danger because my life is easier than throwing it away when its quiet for the most part, just me and my hobbies and social interactions kept to the absolute minimum
You can be an introvert and still make friends. Stop focusing on yourself. Ask questions, & take a genuine interest in others. People love to talk about themselves, so let them. You will have friends and probably learn a lot about inferring what you think others are thinking.