Im questioning if I’ve been getting touched in my sleep.
I’m not sexually active currently. I have rape trauma that my partner knows about, so we don’t have sex. We have had sex in the past, so I know what the soreness feels like.
It typically used to hurt after we had sex. For context, I’m a very very very heavy sleeper. Sometimes, when I stay over at their house, I wake up feeling sore like we had sex. This has never once happened at my house or when I sleep alone. I started having vivid rape night terrors like 6 months into our relationship, and I can’t help but feel like my night terrors are connected to this somehow.
I have no way to prove it, I don’t want to stay the night at their house again and try to record to see. I feel crazy and I just need to get this out there. I can’t talk to my family about it because it’s something so serious. I’ve been in shambles. The most recent time I woke up sore I realized how strange it was that it only happened at their house after staying the night in the same bed.
TLDR I think my partner is touching me while I’m asleep and I feel crazy
Comments
I hope for your safety, you secretly put up a phone somewhere to record if hes really doing it, and then leave secretly, get a rape kit, test if you were raped, please leave this man if you don’t feel safe, hes an awful human being if hes doing that
try a snorerecording app like SleepCycle
Deffo try recording something so you can be sure (not in a protecting him way, in a, for your own sanity way)
Other people have give some good advice on here but I just want to ask, if you believe your partner could do something like this do you really want to be with him? I get trauma can make us imagine things that aren’t there but you seem pretty sure on this. Please don’t ignore something that could impact your safety and all the work you have done to get to this point !! <3
That sounds like you are and that is very scary. I can imagine living someone and putting them through that. I hope you can get away from this person. Additionally, therapy is extremely appropriate in this situation.
Enough. You don’t have to prove it. You don’t have to go there anymore. Cut all contact. I’m sorry this is happening.
I get why people are saying to record it, but it’s really up to you and taking care of what you need at the end of the day.
if you don’t want to see/know that happened, you should just trust your gut and break up with them, and don’t tell them you think that if you have no proof.
If you’re okay with knowing/want to report it, then I say to record it. But make the choice you think is best for you. I think you know in your gut that this is happening, and this is not a safe person to be with if you think this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Set up a phone or , what I did was pretend to sleep while facing a reflective surface like a laptop screen or window or mirror. You aren’t crazy. This is way more common than you think. I am narcoleptic and was on heavy sleep meds and smoked weed and so I never woke up, that is, until I did, and I froze in terror. I don’t know why I couldn’t just get up and defend myself. I was scared.
This is scary, you should get like a recording device or something to help you know what exactly is happening in your sleep. And IMO I wouldn’t want anyone to be beside me or with me if I’m suspecting that my partner is doing something at this level knowing my traumas
Set up a hidden camera asap
You totally can prove it.
Set your phone to record video and sound of you sleeping then go to the police and the hospital for a tape kit.
There are abusers who look for traumatized people because they want to abuse them more.
That’s the fun part.
He knows.
He chooses to do it.
Lock him up.
He’s a rapist.
Besides doing what others said, considering getting a full panel test. There’s STDs and other disorders like PID that can cause things to feel kind of sore down there. Even BV can.
Get one of those antirape condoms and put it before you go to sleep over there next time.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you and you’re having thoughts about your partner doing this to you I hope you are able to find out what’s the cause of the pain soon because it just seems so sketchy I really want to believe that it’s something but if you do get the answers and it’s true please turn him in
Could you possibly insert something into your vagina that would tell you for certain that he’s doing something? If you don’t want to record that’s another way you could see.