One of my old classmates took her own life and I cannot stop thinking about it. This was 3 years ago but senior year some people in my Spanish class went on a trip to Costa Rica and she was one of my roommates along with my best friend.
She was quiet and a little socially awkward. We made fun of her behind her back the whole trip. We pryed into her love life and made her uncomfortable and made her feel bad on purpose by telling her about our spring break adventures.
I remember the hotel we stayed at only had one bathroom and she really needed to wash her hands while I was in the shower. I said OK and then later accused her of looking at me in the shower and made her cry on the last day of the trip. I don’t know why I did that.
Despite all that she gave me a hug during our graduation ceremony and we never spoke again after that. I never apologized for anything and I know I should’ve. I have received lots of therapy over these years but I still don’t know why I was such an awful person. I want to go back and redo all of it.
Comments
What matters is now is you realised your mistake. Everybody makes mistake and regrets comes along with it. I wish the best of you to become a better person and the best of her to live a happier afterlife.
Now THIS is a confession.
I’m glad you’re contrite but how do you know you’re the sole cause? Were there others bullying her too? Or just you and your bestie?
We know why you did that
How old are you? And yes, you need to feel bad about it, you know what you did was awfull, but at least you are still living and can do something to become a better person, hope so
Remember this and do better in every single interaction you have with anybody from here on out. There’s no reason to be mean to people. Being nice is honestly easier and makes everything around you better.
There is nothing you can do to bring her back or apologize now, but you can prove to yourself and everyone else that you do feel bad about it, by not being mean anymore.