My [43f] Bf [44m] and I have been together for over a year. He tends to white lie a lot. Nothing major to even call him out about. I woke up one day with this overwhelming feeling that he was cheating. I can not shake this feeling. We are together Friday-Sunday. He is never on his phone except to show me til toks when we are together. We also try to see each other one day during the week. He calls me when he gets in the car on his way home from work, we usually talk for an hour, and then I always call him before bed. We text off and on all day. So when would he have time to cheat, right? Still can’t shake this feeling. 2 Sundays ago, I came out of the bathroom pretty quietly, not on purpose, and he had his back to me, and I could see he was texting with someone. As soon as he heard me, he hit the lock (Android phone) button, closed out the text, and reopened his phone to TikTok. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was looking at an email he got from Indeed and was looking up the company. (he hates his job.) Well, he has no idea I have his phone password. I know that this is terrible, but I went through his phone with a fine-tooth comb! There was no search history for Indeed on that night. There was also nothing incriminating! No texts with anyone but me and his friends. I opened it to make sure they weren’t disguised with a friend’s name. There is nothing in the archived message either. I went through his phone history, and there was nothing but normal stuff, some porn, but nothing crazy. I checked to see if he has private space he doesn’t. I checked all the apps they are all legit. I can’t imagine why he would have private space or apps hidden if he doesn’t know I have his password. I did tell him I went through his phone. He was like Okay, I have nothing to hide. Told me he has no explanation of why his Indeed search is not in his history, and then changed his password quickly. I don’t know if I am looking for something that’s not there, or if I am missing something.
Any thoughts or advice is welcomed!
TLDR I can shake the feeling my 43F BF 44m is cheating on me.
Comments
Since you have no clear evidence you either have to choose to trust him or let this feeling gnaw away at you and ultimately damage your relationship.
Yea he could be cheating on you but he could also not be. Even if he was sending a text he didn’t want you to see that doesn’t mean he’s cheating on you. Maybe he’s talking to his family/friends about something he’s not ready to let you in on yet or maybe he’s planning a surprise for you. I think you should choose to trust him until he gives you another reason not to.
Sometimes a relationship is a leap of faith but I think that’s where the couples who are really meant to be together are made.