There is so much, too much depiction of sexual violence and torture of women. I hate it so much. I see male family members, friends, partners watching and I can’t help but wonder if they are turned on by it, because I’m the only one who flinches and has to leave the room.
Anyone else like me? Am I too sensitive?
Comments
no, you’re not too sensitive. media often normalizes this violence, impacting how society views it. it’s crucial to recognize your discomfort as valid; it’s a step toward advocating for more responsible portrayal. keep voicing your concerns, it’s important. you’re not alone.
ME TOOO!! I literally can’t find anything to watch anymore because I won’t watch this stuff.
I feel like there’s too much bad in the world for me to be watching more on TV. Currently watching GBBO American version on Roku because there’s no bad stuff.
It’s so we just accept it as natural. It works, most people don’t even flinch and we are left feeling like sensitive prudes or something.
Your reaction is normal – they are the ones who are normalized to the violence.
Sometimes it even gets to me – I had to stop watching 1923 because I couldn’t stand the violence inflicted on the native girls.
Yellowstone and its sequels come up fairly often with both my friends and family. But when I tell them why I stopped watching they all have understood.
So you are not alone.
Same. There’s so much depressing stuff in the world already, I want the show/movies/books/music I consume in my free time to not be depressing as well.
I quit watching tv, except for sports.
I’m a middle aged man and I feel exactly the same.
At this stage shows that don’t feature gratuitous sexual violence stand out, like they’re already doing something interesting just by not doing it.
My husband and I have been watching Korean dramas for nearly 6 years now. There’s not much of that in them, at least as long as you pick more recent and more silly ones.
And yeah, I feel you. You’re not too sensitive.
I dont think it means they’re turned on by it any more than watching true crime dramas means you’re turned on by murder. Like… In I’m sure there are people who are, but I don’t think it’s a clear sign they are.
I think it’s more related to aspects of privilege. Men are victims of that kind of violence far less than women are, so it’s not a thing they frequently have to be on guard for, or have to make conscious choices to avoid in the course of every day life, etc. And it happens so often to women that you don’t have to have actually been a victim of it yourself to have a rational fear of it happening to you. For lots of guys I think that just results in less potential triggering moments when viewing depictions of that kind of thing. I’d guess men who have been victims or know someone close who was might feel more sensitive to it.
Not that this is a positive thing, obviously privilege like this exists bc of a lack of empathy.
Fictional violence never disturbed be. I know I am safe unlike in my childhood.
I can’t really deal with it either. Which modern shows are doing that?
So many cop shows that center on violence done to women.
I won’t watch them.
This and rape scenes. I will never watch games of thrones, I don’t care how good it is.
I’m not going watch a graphic rape scene! Whats the point of watching that??
Have you tried the cosy Sunday night detective shows from the BBC? Ludwic was pretty good as was Death Valley with Timothy Spall. I don’t know if you want BBC America or Brit Box, but you might want to try them.
You are not too sensitive.
I am kind of OK with violence in general, but I can hardly stand violence that is related to „standard sexist tropes“, like the damsel in distress stuff. Especially when women are portrayed as being strong, only to be a damsel in distress in the next episode for the male hero to rescue them heroically (while they literally have the same job and expertise as him – this is calling out you, Bosch Legacy writers!!) – I can deal with an abstract John Rambo making helicopters explode, but not with sexual violence.
… and I am AMAB.
I don’t think it’s necessarily true that people who watch stuff like that without flinching actually enjoy that violence. It’s possible, but… most men have no personal experience with how it feels to be on the bad side of patriarchy, including the violence. It’s an abstract thing for most of them. For them to at least flinch a bit, they would need to firmly reflect sexism, but even then, they won’t understand the feeling, as in, knowing how it personally feels.
This goes a long way, and it is one of the reasons (IMHO) that patriarchy persists.
This doesn’t mean you should watch stuff that makes you uncomfortable; it’s totally valid to not participate or to call it out.
BTW: I am still flabbergasted how the Breaking Bad authors got through 4 seasons without ever putting Walters wife or kid in a really bad situation… considering all the brutality in the series. Only messing that up big time in season 5…
Ditto. Worked in film industry long time ago before career in heathcare, and the catalogues of VIOLENT shows and movies that we were sent from American companies literally made me sick. Most film posters (adverts) from the 1950s until today mainly glorify female bodies in sexualized and violent scenes.
I grew up choosing British comedies and shows like “All Creatures Great & Small” and “The Darling Buds of May,” early Bollywood, documentaries, international movies like “Whale Rider,” Korean dramas, Masterpiece Theatre, some reality shows, and awesome goodies like “Til debt Do Us Part” and “Princess” by Gail Vaz Oxlade. Also watched educational, creative, and unusual programs like CanAm Missing Project. One of my film companies made the series “Animal Miracles” which was also an awesome series.
Don’t give your dollars or your viewing time to productions that hyper-sexualize or include gratuitous violence against women, and talk to your men about what content comes into your homes.
I nope out of those shows immediately. Its supposed to be entertaining!!!
You aren’t too sensitive. I’ve been done with shows using the topic and graphic depictions of sexual violence as plot points or character development (ugh) for a while now. I don’t think most media that includes these topics is doing it thoughtfully or handling it well.
These tools are great for screening media: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/ and https://www.unconsentingmedia.org/
If you have topics that will torpedo your enjoyment of something or are avoiding specific triggers, doesthedogdie has triggers listed I hadn’t even considered before, and unconsentingmedia is specific to non-consensual sexual content.
Could I be called picky for what I’ll give a shot vs what I won’t even bother trying to watch? Sure, but that isn’t a bad thing nor something negative or wrong. I’m supposed to be watching for the purpose of entertainment and enjoyment, and I just know what not to waste my time on.
Also little girls too.
I can’t watch many horror movies anymore due how people excuse killing kids in horrible ways.
It’s not just you. I’m a middle-aged guy and I’ve dropped series because of this. I don’t like torture-porn in general but it’s especially gross to see violence against women treated stylistically in a way they’d never use for a male victim, where you have to wonder how turned on the director was.
Humans have a long history of being horrible to each other so there’s an argument for realism but that should center the impact on the victim, be realistic about that, and treat it the same way as non-sexual acts of violence are portrayed.
I go through spells where I can’t watch any “live action” media, because I’ll get horrid nightmares. There’s so much vicious sexual violence and it’s just everywhere…
I used to watch intense horror movies and now I can barely watch suspense.
Not just you.
I really like Handmaids Tale for its overall themes but it’s violence is hard to take. I do think thats the point though.
It is not just you. I don’t mind some violence. I would never be able to watch much science fiction otherwise. It is when the violence is stylized is such a way to titillate that I have a problem with it, especially when it is sexualized and/or the victims are almost exclusively women. It becomes pornographic in nature. We should be repulsed by rape and murder, not entertained.
Ive been saying this for decades but I “was a prude” “was too sensitive”
I’m the same way tbh
I’d like to think most are not turned on, at least I hope so. Although it does beg the question why is is so prevalent when it is not appealing to the majority of people. Maybe shock value drives engangement more and it is something like a “all publicity is good publicity” situation.
Honestly, overall I feel like since the 2010s most adult television (and a lot of the teen television) has turned into little more than terrible people acting terrible and doing terrible things, usually to people who don’t deserve it.
The fact that your mind jumps from ‘disinterest’ to ‘sexual attraction’ is a little sensitive.
You have the right to make judgements on media as you wish, but judging others for what media they consume and assuming they are doing so for base pleasure is kind of a vile assumption.
Do you have the same disgust when you watch an action movie? Or does it only affect you when the show/movie designs it to be impactful by making you feel disturbed. People watch TV to experience the gamut of emotions, not just ‘happy and horny’ like you seem to assume.