okay so my bfs mother is in her 50s and we have a 4 year old (i’m 24 & he is 25) & we haven’t had his mother around since she was 1 bc of sooo many reasons but some of the bigger ones are 1. she lied and told his friends at MY family’s house at MY gender reveal that i “trapped him and didn’t give him a choice and did it on purpose when he was really drunk” which is beyond incorrect she was very very planned and i have so much proof of that 2. she encouraged him cheating on me while i was pregnant & right after i gave birth bc she liked that long time friend of his better 3, he got abusive for a little bit and would lick me in. rooms with no phone, couldn’t let me leave when i was getting worked up and said i needed space to calm down, he partied almost every weekend with girls (one of those girls was the one he cheated with) and wouldn’t come home till 2-3am wasted & she knew ab ALL of it and encouraged it and told me i was being dramatic ab everything & the abuse part was “my fault” (which yes ik i should’ve left that’s another convo as to why i didn’t) 3. has absolutely no respect for me at all and is so controlling and bashed me to everyone and is very very manipulative. i could go on and on but he agreed with me to keep her away so she hadn’t been around since our daughter was 1 and he’s randomly being super pushy ab her being around again and is giving me no choice at all. i had to fight with him to let me have a conversation with her without my daughter being there and it was a waste of time. she hasnt changed at all and is still “im a victim in every situation no matter what” and started crying when i told her i lost respect for her and do not twist her at all anymore when she lied ab rape & he is saying “she’s his kid too so i have no say” and that he will be taking her around his mom whether i like it or not and i wont be allowed to go with. am i over reacting or is this not just completely ridiculous and disrespectful to me?????
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You have to be kidding me this has to be fake that you’re still with this guy who cares about the mom when he’s cheated on you and is abusive
Forget your MIL for a second, what are you doing with this man? Get away for the sake of your safety and that of your daughter. This is major red flag territory.
This isn’t just about his mom. It’s about him too. He’s showing you he hasn’t changed either by steamrolling your concerns and siding with someone who encouraged him to abuse you. You’re not overreacting. This is your child, and you have every say in who she’s exposed to. If he won’t respect that, he’s telling you where his loyalty lies.
He’s an abusive cheater and a mamas mom to boot. I don’t even know you and I know you (and your kid) deserve better. Throw the whole family out. He should be grovelling not picking his mom over you on top of all his other shit.
I do not know if I should congratulate you on standing up to her, or implore you to dump him. Perhaps both.
Hell no, you’re not overreacting. This woman’s behavior is toxic, and your boyfriend’s about-face is alarming. You’re the one who’s been dealing with the fallout of his family’s drama, and now he’s dictating you have to deal with her again? That’s not okay. You need to stand firm and prioritize your own well-being and your daughter’s safety.