Ladies, I need your help with finding good, breathable house shorts. Here are my needs:
– They must be available in dark colors or sufficiently distracting patterns with darker areas. I believe I have been cursed by a prankster god to have extra sweat glands in my bikini area, and I live in a hot climate.
– They must be about bermudashort length, for my thighs are luscious and prone to chafing. The fabric on shorter shorts struggles to hold its ground, often riding up and away from crucial territory.
-I prefer the legs to be fitted. IME looser athletic shorts have crotch seams that dip at awkward lengths vs to where I like them to land on my waist. Most often the space is too large, allowing my star-crossed-lover thighs to paw at each other above the fabric barricades. Occasionally the seam is too small/short, and I am forced to either crush Mme Crevasse or have the waistband land at its most foodbaby-accentuating line.
-They must be breathable, either by make or by fabric. Mme Crevasse has made it expressly clear that there are consequences for solid slabs of cheap polyester prisons.
-They must be comfy enough to sleep in (e.g. elastic waist) but look good/unremarkable enough to run simple errands in. Like grocery shopping or casually rummaging through the HOA President’s trashcan.
-Pockets
-Mid- to high-rise waist preferred. Tummy control a bonus.
Comments
No advice, but your writing style is both excellent and hilarious… I’m a fuzzy pajama pants kind of person around the house, but I hope you find something perfect for you.
I love your post, OP. I feel you and Mme Crevasse on this list of requirements.
I have been eyeballing this brand. They have shorts ranging from sheer slip-shorts that can be worn as underwear to opaque shorts that can be worn alone. Inclusive size range as well as multiple inseam options. https://www.thighsociety.com/products/original-7-black
Good luck!
Dolphin shorts, there are some on Amazon that I have bought for my exercise walks but they’re great for lounging in as well. Just make sure to pick the quick drying and moisture wicking kinds
Try uniqlo airism shorts. They meet all of your requirements.
Check out the bike shorts from Huha!
Merino wool bike shorts like these ones
https://www.simplymerino.com/products/bike-shorts-1?srsltid=AfmBOoo7dU5Ib579ybK5-2zGbPWniI_b_UTcrubQ6AKkcWlxXZYoMkFe
Merino is super breathable and helps keep me cool when it’s hot out.
Jockey has some nice options that might work for you. Currently, I mostly live in these. They feel like cotton, but they aren’t. They are insanely comfortable, though. I’m short, so on me, the waistband sits significantly higher than it’s shown in the picture, which makes them even more comfortable. I also wear these when I work out. They handle sweat just fine.
Noble outfitters has some nice ones, super light breathable and comfy.