So me and my husband have been married for 3 years together 5, he lives in his home country, spouse visa are expensive so haven’t been able to get him to me and shortly after we got married he lost his job,and I’ve been financially supporting him ever since, unfortunately I now no longer can help him because I just don’t have the funds as the UK is becoming to expensive and I’m living in poverty myself, this is where I’m lost on what to do my husband hasn’t been able to find a job in 3 years as in his home country jobs are very rare if your not quilified for it (even cleaners need certificates there) n my husband is about to be kicked out on the streets with no where to go, but no matter how much I explain to him, he uses emotional abuse to make me feel like shit when I can’t provide for him and then guilt trips me, he just won’t listen that I cannot Offord to even feed myself, he calls me selfish compares me to his friends who support their husbands and he goes to the extent of harressing me and my family when I stop talking to him, I physically and mentally can’t take the marriage anymore, because I can’t let him suffer yet I also can’t help him should I just block him on everythink and abandoned the marriage as I’d have to go to his country to divorce but I don’t have the funds ? It’s draining me so much that I’m depressed under weight my hair is falling out due to the stress of it and I’m lost on what to do, I will mention I’m also autistic so I find it hard to find solutions to this situation I’m I a bad wife for giving up on him? Is he just using me for financial freedom?
What are my options?
I can’t financially help my husband anymore but he won’t listen
r/Advice
Comments
Why are you living separately? Why can’t he come to where you are and get a job and help financially?
Pretty sure he is using you.
Sorry you’re going through this it’s not selfish to protect yourself especially when you own
He’s using you. This is abuse. Cut him off.
Is he using u or scamming u how much do u usually financially support this man. 3 years and no job atleast he could be studying to get one🤷
If u are married there will be legal stuff talk to a lawyer about options and what ending the marriage would look like.
Have you two ever met in person
He is likely married to you so he can have his own life, doing what he wants, but with a meal ticket. Finding a “wife” like you is literally a job for some people.
That is why he doesn’t give a crap you are struggling. He got married for the meal ticket and is pissed he might lose it.
He doesn’t want to work because you’ve been paying his bills and his never going to work until you stop paying his bills. Like others said his just using you for your money. Unfortunate how that might be. You were his meal ticket and he won the lotto with you and he intends to milk you dry.
Just block him, secretly go to the country when you can and divorce him. 3 years and no job, not even an under the table job. Yea he’s using you, move on.
Since he can’t get to the UK you can ghost him pretty easily.
He won’t be homeless. He has plenty friends whose wives support them from what he says. He must have family too, he is draining you and not helping at all, jobs are hard everywhere but not impossible to find a basic one. I’d go to a consulate in your country to see what your options are. You haven’t lived together, maybe you can get it annulled too.
Sounds like you already know the right decision to make.
Google “romance scam” please
Leave his ass!! Move on get your life together… He is an emotional abuser…. Good luck sweety 🙏🙏🙏
Sweetheart, that’s not a husband. That’s a scam artist. File for divorce ASAP. The fact that he’s fine with you living in poverty just so he doesn’t have to work is cause enough to leave him. Your life is worth SO much more. You deserve happiness, even if that means being alone for a bit. You do not owe him ANYTHING.
You are being used. Just stop sending him money. Yes, it really is that easy. Stiffen up your backbone and move on. He’s drowning you.
TROLL!
1 year ago OP was posting about being a single bi-sexual woman. Also posting about not having anyone in her life and all of her children were taken from her.
I need you to read what you wrote and if that’s the truth.
Level with him and stop sending him money.
If he attacks you , block him.
Getting a job isn’t a pick nick, but it’s sure faster than 3 years.
If he goes homeless , he needs to find the next homeless shelter.
Salvation army will provide him with a job and all he has to do is make deposit and rent.
He also needs to get a passport to come see you , and pay for his own plane ticket.
If he doesn’t do this. He’s not a husband
Divorce him.
Block everything and move on the message will be received 📣
He probably has girlfriends who are supporting him to cut him off and divorce him. Why would you marry someone who can not be in the same location beyond me. But seriously, divorce him. Support yourself first.
Divorce. Don’t talk to him. He can take care of himself and you should do the same. Stop letting him abuse you! Cancel the visa process for him!
Somebody is being scammed and it ain’t him!!! Run away NOW!
You said you’re being abused, and living in poverty for him. He doesn’t even live in the same country as you and you’re done with the marriage. It seems clear to me that divorce makes sense here. How often do you actually even see him?
If he was a real husband he would go hungry so you could eat. I’m sorry, I think he’s using you.
You are his job. This isn’t a marriage. There is not partnership here. Block him and divorce him. You deserve better.
Where’s he from – Nigeria?
He’s been using you obviously. Creep ass bum mfer. Sounds like a pile.
He’s probably got at least three other wives supporting him
Omg the Tinder Swindler is here
He may have a job and another life over there and is milking you too. It would be great to get a private investigator to look into him. That would be astronomical $$$ It would be fun though! Leave him and go about a new life for yourself, until he wants a divorce too.
Sorry tell your family to block him that you can afford to pay him anything and if he has a phone he can sell it to make some money or work harder to find a job
You should definitely abandon the marriage.
Move on from him. Live your life!