My bf (19) was lusting over women online for our whole 2 and a half year relationship until I finally had enough and told him to stop back in December.
It’s been 7 months and I cannot get over it. He hasn’t done it since. When he used to do it, I knew about it and I guess because we were so young I thought it was normal and I didn’t care. I would do similar stuff when we first got together because it was our first relationship and we didn’t know it was bad.
After a few months I stopped but for him it didn’t. I guess I didn’t know to the extent he was doing it but his whole explore page was women, he followed girls who just post bikini pics and he would stalk girls accounts.
Since then, it has fully stopped but I constantly have this sick feeling in my stomach. My heart aches all the time. I find myself crying a lot and I hate the way I look. I compare myself to literally everyone and I cannot fathom how he could betray me like that.
I’ve never loved anyone this much, he’s my first love and we’ve been together over 3 years but when will this end??? I seem to be incapable of getting over it. I constantly check his phone, I feel sick when I’m not with him because I’m worried about what he’s looking at. I don’t trust him at all. I question his every move because I’m so scared of it happening again.
I feel the relationship is broken but I do not want to lose him. It almost feels like trying to bandage a broken heart. It might feel better for a bit but eventually the bandages wears off and the heart remains broken.
I guess I don’t really know what to do and I’m looking for some advice?
TL;DR- My boyfriend was lusting over women online and I can’t get past it or trust him again.
Comments
You’re 19. Chances are you’re not going to marry this dude.
Relationships aren’t supposed to be this hard and you’re too young to be agonizing over loss of trust.
I know the Reddit trope is everyone just says to break up but it sounds like you need to call this one off for your own mental health and spend some time working on yourself and your self esteem.
Might be helpful to find a therapist to talk through some of it before you get older and it becomes harder to break the habits.
I promise you, there will be other people out there. You’ve got plenty of time.
You’re young. End it now. 🚩🚩🚩