English is not my first language and, while I speak it with an accent that generally makes people conclude that I’m a native speaker from the US, I still struggle with understanding accents I’m not used to.
That is, while an actual native speaker usually doesn’t have trouble understanding, say, an Indian person with a heavy accent or a Scottish or an Irish, I generally have to pretend I’m hard of hearing and even sometimes ask people to write things down for me.
This Irish coworker is the sweatest woman, so kind, but every time we have a lengthy conversation I understand maybe 15%. It’s so embarrassing. I’ve been getting better, I think now I’m able to grasp about 25%, but it’s so uncomfortable to think she might hate me if I tell her……
It doesn’t help that I have social anxiety and loathe confrontation, so sometimes if I’ve already asked her to repeat herself 3 times, I just say “exuse me, I have to use the rest room” and run away. I sometimes avoid her because I’m scared I won’t understand her again.
It’s kind of funny but mostly just sad and uncomfortable
Comments
Don’t beat yourself up. You’re trying, people will see that. I generally blame myself to not make others frustrated and say things like, “im sorry im just having a hard time hearing today, can you repeat that one more time. Maybe slower?” But I feel like you can also be honest and say “English isn’t my first language, my apologies can you say that one more time?” If you’re genuine, people will understand. Good luck!
On my job right now I work with 7 different nationalities. I am forever saying I did not understand a word you said. Accents are difficult even for native speakers. Don’t be ashamed you didn’t understand it happens. My boss is Northern Scottish and my co-worker is more southern Scottish they don’t understand each other at times.
Irish don’t like English so don’t worry
Just remind her English is not your native language and ask her to please slow down. I know native English speakers that have a hard time understanding Irish or Scottish accents. Just be honest or you may miss something important!
I’m American and my bf of 10 years is Irish. I will still on the rare occasion not understand wtf he’s saying to me. Usually just a word or two but I use context clues to figure it out. All that to say, I get it! Have you tried just speaking with her about it? I’m sure if you go about it in a kind way, she will totally understand.
Tell her what you’ve written. Ask her tp speak more slowly or simply because you want to understand what she’s saying and are unfamiliar with her accent.
We are really open at my work, I’m naturally a fast speaker. My English is terrible at times especially when I’m nervous. People straight up tell me sorry I don’t understand we all try to translate for each other as we have mostly come from different parts of the world.
I’m a native English speaker and on a visit to Belfast we ventured off for gluten free fish and chips. The fish and chips were great, but we couldn’t understand a word the cashier said.
Just Tell Her! She will feel so much better, that you’re not avoiding her, and I’m sure she’ll be understanding.
Perhaps she can even send you texts, even tho you’re both just standing there looking at each other, and you can both have some good laughs over it.
Let me tell you, I’m from the US, and a perfect English speaker. BUT, I cannot grasp certain heavy dialects.
My husband worked with consultants all over the world, and I traveled with him from time to time, as well as had dinners for many of these people when they were in Silicon Valley.
I have the most difficulty with Irish dialects, and many Indian dialects, and just the sheer speed of their (Indian) speaking manner.
I have apologized many times, and made jokes about my own poor hearing and comprehension abilities. We all just laugh, and don’t fuss about it.
I speak a bit of French and Spanish, but can’t seem to understand when they speak to me!
You’d be suprised how forgiving people can be. It’s really OK! Ask them to text you, as you are losing a bit of hearing, and don’t want to miss anything.
Just tell them. Ok?
Simply explain the reality of the situation to her. “With all due respect, ___…” If she respects you, she will listen and understand.
English is my native language, & I have the worst time with heavy accents.
It’s embarrassing.