My Gf (28F) was texting her “Friend” from high school. I later saw that she had sent the guy nudes a few years ago. He reached out to her recently asking if she was doing ok and she replied back to him “I guess” after she replied back he then sent her a selfie and asking for her to come get drinks with him. She never opened the follow up messages but when I saw that she responded to the previous one it bothered me because I felt like she was still opening a door for conversation. I know not much was said but I still feel hurt because the relationship was clearly more than just a friendship that was pursued. When I talked to her about how I felt. She explained she can understand how I would feel bothered but she doesn’t think she did anything wrong because she was only responding to him checking on her and because she had sent the nudes to him years ago before we had gotten together and not recently she thinks she did nothing wrong. Not sure if I’m overreacting?
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Nope. She sent nudes…they crossed over the “friend” line already. I wouldn’t date someone that keeps in contact with their previous flings.
How do you know about the nudes? Were they still saved in the chat?
I think you are because he was checking in on her and she only gave back curt response. She also didn’t open the follow up message showing that she’s not interested in pursuing the man further. It could just be his texts came to her when she was probaly feeling sorta down and she only responded without giving it much thought.
As long as no boundaries was broken in the recent Snap convo then its okay.
Break up with her ! she is Manipulating you ! if you would send Nudes to an Woman then there would be an BIG problem ! but she can do anything and doesn’t even feel bad about it.
Have some self respect and break up as i said. Also she doesn’t respect you bc she has send Nudes to an other Guy and it doesn’t matter if it was years ago. She has Done it, Thats enough !
You and your gf have a very different sense of what is and is not acceptible behavior in a relationship.
You and she need to have a very clear discussion about expectations and the types of behaviors that are and are not acceptible.
However, don’t spend time in that discussion negotiating or debating. Instead, use it to gauge her overall compass. Does her moral compass point in the same direction as yours or are you heading in completely different directions.
Most people will agree that hooking up and kissing are out of bounds. It’s the grey area stuff that really shows a person’s attitudes and values.
Once you can gauge that, you will know whether you’re truly compatible in the long-term.
It doesn’t matter how much good will and effort she’s put into the relationship. She emotionally cheated before and you stayed if she stopped. She’s now in contact with this person. She doesn’t understand that this is the crack she created, any contact is just adding to it.
Like an alcoholic who tells you they’re ok with just 1 beer, you can never trust them unless it’s none at all.
I think the opinions will vary based on the specifics. I certainly would have liked it better if she didn’t respond at all.
That would be a “pass” for me.
Any time a woman says they’re only friends means 2 things
Either they’ve had sex or he wants to have sex with her
That’s it
I can’t believe she still thinks sending nudes to an ex is just a casual friendship move… It’s like, sure, they may have been nothing then but now her dude has every right to freak out. If my hubby ever got wind of me chatting up an old flame, even just checking in, he’d blow a gasket.
Snapchat? You know nothing. He’s asking her to come over for drinks? she’s been there before and it was not just the “drinks” that she was swallowing.
Ask her to be straightforward about the real story here.
It’s over my guy. You can try and keep her attention but, she’s already gazing.
You’re 28, put yourself out there!