I cheated on my husband and he caught us I was sick and tired of feeling unloved and unwanted. I was sick of being a doormat and taking him back every single fucking time. I don’t know how I feel right now but I know it’s not regret or shame, it’s something else. I invited a guy I’ve been talking to over at the house, I knew my husband was coming home at 5 and I still went through with it. Keeping personal things personal he saw everything and I mean EVERYTHING and heard as well.I have to face the reality of my situation. I’m not shocked he’s hurt, that was my intention but the hypocrisy is astonishing. He’s been crying the entire night, I’ve cried for YEARS. Somehow I am the scum, not him. After he’s been playing house with this woman and having dinner by her house. It’s 12 am right now and all I can say is that I’m lucky my husband and the guy didn’t thrash it out. It was incredibly awkward……..My mind is racing I feel a bit scared, empowered and uncertain. I haven’t been steady in ages.
Comments
They say… “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”
To become and embody the thing that hurt you is not very satisfying… feels icky like now you’re as bad as them which is the very thing you opposed in the first place.
OMG, I remember! This is the guy who has been openly cheating on you with his meal-prepping mistress!
How on earth is he devastated about catching you cheating when he has continuously disrespected you for years? Your marriage has been open for all this time, its hilarious that he thinks you wouldn’t find someone else. Good for you.
Congratulations, you have both adopted despicable behavior.
Not saying not warranted. Not judging. But the fact is you have become what you despised.
Op I don’t understand why you haven’t left though. You have become the very thing that hurt and broke you and for what? Just to punish him – a man that never loved or respected you.
I guess now he knows how you feel.
Update us
Just left….
That’s hilarious. Say “that’s how it felt for me. Get over it”
You became what you hated. He deserved it, but you didn’t.
I suppose the right thing to do in such an emotionally abusive relationship was to leave and rekindle your personal peace and joy without him(or with someone else) but sadly as he was a cheat, you to have now cheated to hurt a cheat. It feels sweet now, but later, the intrigue disappears …maybe am negative, but eventually (what should have happened has finally happen) this relationship is ruined and ended…can never be mended from here I believe…
You’ve tasted it and will always be back in it…he’ll now feel no exclusivity to you again so he can as well Co tinue in his dirts to…both just end and walk away!
Whenever you start fundamentally changing who you are and your core belief to survive someone else’s bad behavior, it’s past time to go. Now your kids don’t have any role models.
You didn’t cheat. The marriage was already broken and the divorce just isn’t done.
Cheating would be if the relationship was intact.
Did the guy know your married? What a shit show he got involved in.
One of my exes that I tried staying with who cheated on me (this was when I was younger) said and I quote “I know I did it, but, you’re not allowed to cheat on me, don’t do that.”
….I cheated on him lol. Fuck you dude. I wouldn’t do it again, no, I’d leave. However, do I totally regret it? Heh, no. Not after the way he treated me. 🖕
I’m obsessed with this vibe.
I love this journey for you; I am living vicariously through it.
This isn’t the way I would have advised you to handle this – but it’s understandable. Planning it when your husband would come home was an awful idea – and it could have led to violence. But you were coming from a place of rage and pain. You really used that other guy – and that is not OK.
You need to come to grips with what you want from your marriage. Can it be saved? Should it be saved? I won’t try to advise you.
I don’t know why you didn’t walk out long before. I don’t know why you let it escalate to this. But that’s water under the bridge. I think you need more than reddit can give you. You need to talk to a good therapist and come to grips with what you want and why you didn’t act before – and when you did, why you acted the way you did. You also need couples counseling.
NGL You both suck and need to end this shit show of a marriage.
Hot take- you are both terrible people, you need to divorce immediately. Hurting him because he hurt you is childish, will leave you with far more trauma than had you just been an adult and moved on when you decided you wanted out. Couple that with the fact you did so intentionally with the purpose of hurting him… yeah, both of you are gross as fuck.
Seek help.
Imagine cheating in the same bed and home you two share 😐 .
After all the cheating he’s done, he honestly deserves this. Let him cry.
A lot of us get our licks back, no shame in that game. Don’t let him make you feel any type of way for returning just a slight FRACTION of the energy he’s given you.
The dildo of revenge is rarely lubed
Sure he deserved it but you deserve to be happy. Is this a path that will ever lead to the life you want?
[ Removed by Reddit ]
You shouldn’t feel uncertain, cheat with confidence
Do what you can to get out of this marriage. Life is too short to live this way.
It’s right for you to have your revenge however don’t be like him. By the way, do you have any kids? If you have, I hope they won’t witness moments like this between you two.
Your husband is a shitty one and you want to get him back? Seems like a lot more work than just leaving but, hell, do you and find peace.
But if that guy you involved didn’t know this was the plan, didn’t know you were married, whatever, you’re kindof an actively shitty person in that direction. You used him and (depending on your husband) put him in literal physical danger so you could feel something. That’s more than fucked. Selfish as hell. If he did know, then whatevs, cool beans.
Something like that happened to me, but I told my husband myself that I kissed a stranger a few days after finding out about his affair. We tried to forgive each other, but he couldn’t handle the idea of me passionately kissing another guy. He dumped me. For him, a few kisses were more serious than the sexual affair he’d been having for years.
Serious question. Why don’t you leave?
You are just as much of a trashy person as he. The fact that you knew he was cheating and you stayed with him means you were trying to reconcile and fix things. Bringing the other man to your house and your bed is fucking stupid. You should have left the cheater years ago. You are just like a dog going back to your vomit.
Good for you OP, now you are both trashy people.
“I was sick and tired of feeling unloved and unwanted”
So leave him.
“I was sick of being a doormat”
So leave him.
“and taking him back every single fucking time”
Don’t take him back. Leave him.
Cheating is never, ever, ever the right call. He treats you like shit? That sucks. Leave him.
What you’re feeling makes sense. Years of neglect and betrayal will twist you up inside until you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. That said, cheating back rarely gives the peace or power people hope it will. It doesn’t level the scales, it just burns the whole house down. You sound torn between relief, anger, and uncertainty, which is normal after something like this. The bigger question is, do you actually want to repair this marriage, or do you want to be free of it? Because staying locked in a cycle of hurting each other will only keep both of you miserable. You deserve steadiness, but it won’t come from revenge, it’ll come from choosing what life you really want moving forward.
Congratulations, you reached down to his level, and now you are no better.
Couple of winners lol
HA-HA 🤣
Ugh the poor rando. Used as a pawn.
You’d achieve a better life and not have all this on your conscience if you just left him.
Acting out of revenge in this case just created a whole lot of emotion and drama without achieving the basic goal of freeing yourself of this man.