I( f 24) don’t know if anyone else is is the same boat, any time I think I’m doing good, I’m bogged down by these obsessive thoughts that I’m delusional.
For example, as I’m writing this post, I’m sitting in my room with a very high probability of getting into a top master’s of marketing program in Canada. I had prepared for this application since the past six months, and I am holding down a job in a very technical industry, construction industry, with a degree in English, in a hyper capitalistic city that is Dubai. and I’m consistently getting good feedback from my higher-ups. I feel like a part of the reason as to why I feel this way is because I’m not where I want to be financially right now, partially because of my arts degree and partially because the job market is ass right now, and I think that is a part of the reason as to why I’m having these looping thoughts.
And I think while it’s a good idea to have some degree of pushback on my ideas, I just feel like I keep consistently worrying if I’m being delusional about me being good.
How does one constructively deal with thoughts like these?
Comments
I’d look into therapeutic devices like cognitive behavioural therapy and especially mindfulness to help get you out of those negative loops. Sorry you’re dealing with this. There’s so much pressure on young people these days, but you sound like you’re doing great and you’ve got this đź’—
I highly recommend CBT and to stick with it. I emphasize the last part because it can be frustrating early on.
It seems you are tailored for academic life. Impostor syndrome is real. Take a look at the strategies suggested on Google. Don’t let it paralyse you, even if you feel like that, keep doing whatever was planned.
Sounds a little like imposter syndrome too?
Excuse me if I’m off base I just want to offer some comfort thay you’ve worked really hard to be where you are today- enjoy that, give yourself a pat on the back or even give yourself a nice big hug. You’re doing the dang thing! And people recognize it.
Let it feel good. It is good to feel good. You should get constructive criticism or push back when necessary, do you really thing your higher ups are just kissing ur ass? Why would they? That doesn’t benefit them. They TRULY value you and no matter how “good” you are it’s hard to find people who truly value your work, relish in that as this may not be forever and then you’ll really wanna beat yourself up about it..
Just wanna let you know your recognition is more than likely deserved, it’s OK to feel like it’s not, we’re our own toughest critics but that doesn’t mean you’re not awesome at what u do.
Sounds like you already know it’s unrealistic expectations under capitalism and I mix of imposter syndrome,
Congrats on getting into Masters! I felt like that when I was in your position too, so much so I dropped out of Masters and god terrified of every job I applied for. It reduced with time as I proved to myself I could do it and I uncoupled my expectation of self from capitalism.
Don’t forget you don’t need to be or do anything to have a right to exist. Just enjoy life – we are just here for a short ride. Therapy sounds like a good idea to let of the “shoulds” you have for yourself x