I did 7 years in juvenile detention (14-21) for murder and now work in a juvenile hall. AMA

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Grew up in a trailer trash town riddled with violence, gangs, drugs, the works. At age 14, I (28M) shot and killed my mom’s abusive boyfriend after he hit my little sister (24f) was 10 the time. He would beat up my mom, and she’d tell us to ignore it. One day I came home from school and my little sister was bleeding and had bruises. She stayed home sick from school, and my mom couldn’t take off of work, so she left her at home by herself. He watched her that day (he worked part time so he could switch shifts at will) and I guess he got mad and hit her. She told me what happened and I blacked out. He ended up being at work at the time, so I went to my best friend and told him, we went to mom’s boyfriend’s house (really his mom’s house) with a gun and a car waited for him (yes we were 14 driving a stolen car. Trailer-hood things). When he got home, I ran out of the car, pulled the trigger, and ran back to the car and we left. He ditched the car and took his gun and later sold it.

Due to my proximity to his life, the neighborhood and police knew about me, and the police brought me in as a potential suspect and I folded. I didn’t tell on my friend. I got sentenced to juvenile life and spent 2 years in a county juvenile detention center and the next 5 years in a high-security placement facility until I was 21. There, I got my GED, associates degree, and did a lot of therapy. After I got out, I continued therapy, was able to get a job with a family friend mentoring troubled youth. A few years later, I applied to work a juvenile detention center. Surprisingly I got the job even with my priors. I guess with the large gap of time since the crime, my progress while locked up, therapy, and community work, they felt like I could work there.

AMA

Comments

  1. Curious_Document_956 Avatar

    Do you go to any Church?

  2. Excellent-Bike468 Avatar

    Shit you had to go through this. How did your mom take it?

  3. dback00 Avatar

    How does your mom and sister feel about what happened and do you have a good relationship with them now?

  4. Da-Unlucky-Kid000 Avatar

    If given the chance would you do it again? I almost did something similar idk still wish I did though.

  5. OkBrain9316 Avatar

    No question, just respect.

  6. CantRespond_Berry0-0 Avatar

    Is your sister in therapy too? How did the boyfriend’s family react to you killing him? Did your friend get charged with anything at all?

  7. LikwidHappiness Avatar

    What exactly do you do at the juvenile facility now?

  8. Beautifuldis Avatar

    I have no questions, but want to say good for you for turning a shitty situation into a positive one!
    I can’t say I blame you, though it obviously could have been handled better!
    Id do the same thing if someone hurt my children!

  9. Future_Usual_8698 Avatar

    What kind of work are you doing and how does it feel to work with you giving your experience?

  10. monpetitchoutoo Avatar

    What’s your best advice for people nowadays that are having a challenging time?

  11. Any_Independence1993 Avatar

    Do you feel any anxiety or any different around society when you go out? Like to a bar, the bank, a grocery store etc.

  12. Astrong88 Avatar

    No question my man just huge credit to you and coming this far and to stay the course! I’m from Australia but what I would say resonates is having seen intimately the substance World and what goes with that. Also how I feel about my Mum; someone I would kill and die for which I mean very literally.

    Perhaps a question before I take off though; what are some big goals/ambitions moving forward?

  13. Chilipatily Avatar

    I’m a former prosecutor (3 years) and defense attorney (9 years).

    How was your attorney? I’m assuming court appointed?

    Did you consider taking it to trial? Was it explained to you that the reason you were “guilty” was because you didn’t do it while he was in the act of harming your sister?

    Do you feel like the system let you down? I do.

  14. PotentialAnalyst7500 Avatar

    Sounds to me like you should have been given an award for removing a scumbag woman and child beater from society. Just saying.

    Fortunately, it sounds like you received some amazing help and have turned it all into a positive, and can now pass that blessing on to the next generation of troubled kids, most of whom grew up in difficult situations like yours! Well done!

  15. PainAuChocolaat Avatar

    No questions but glad to hear you turned your life around and now helping others .
    World needs more good in it.

  16. petitecrivain Avatar

    Were you mistreated? Were there adequate resources for rehabilitation when you were there? Did the environment impede or counter rehabilitation? Has the system changed since you were inside?

  17. Speedracerfan69 Avatar

    How is it you got fallen on so hard? You were protecting your mom and sister. Did you just plead guilty outright? Was your mom with you when questioned or a lawyer? Did you understand your Miranda rights?

  18. jdeuce81 Avatar

    As someone who did a lot of time locked up as a kid. I say “no ragrets” joking, but not really. If I were you in that situation, I’d be perfectly comfortable with that sentence for him never hurting my mom or sister EVER again. It would suck a little, but let’s be honest, it sounds like you were on your way anyway.

  19. MeasurementPrimary18 Avatar

    Now that’s a real man out there! No fuckery tolerated towards women. I would lay my life for my brother if he protected me like this. 🙏 Damn, if any one touches my child inappropriately, I’d get violent too. What a crazy world out there!

    My question:
    Have you ever done a past life reading?

  20. ducatibronco125 Avatar

    I’ve seen the insides of many lock-down institutions,but I really don’t now what juvie looks like.Could you describe the enviornment,pl

  21. jrobinzz Avatar

    No questions just proud as fuck of you

  22. jimib974 Avatar

    I also want to work with troubled youth, anything I should know before pursuing it as a career?

  23. GroundbreakingAlps78 Avatar

    While serving on a grand jury several years ago, I was asked to tour the local jail facilities. The COs explained to us that food restriction is a primary mechanism used to maintain control in the facility, and grown men are typically limited to 1400 calories a day. That said, did you have enough to eat when you were locked up?

  24. Fargogirl1 Avatar

    Glad you’re doing well in life. You have literally become the person you needed as a child.

  25. Curious-Humor-6211 Avatar

    what race are you?

  26. GratefulDancer Avatar

    I’m sorry for the abuse you witnessed and the lack of safety. You opened my eyes today.

  27. Skittles-101 Avatar

    You you want to go back to college to further your education?

  28. Affectionate_Air4956 Avatar

    Where there a lot of other kids who were there for murder? Also-way to take a shitty situation and turn it into something to help others.

  29. puuremorningg Avatar

    Thank you for sharing your story! I’m so proud of you; despite everything, it sounds like you are doing amazing. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, but I’m glad to hear what you’ve become- especially the odds being stacked against you. Well done! What an inspiration!

  30. TypicalGenXer Avatar

    If that guy really was doing all that stuff l, in my world you wouldn’t even go to jail. No question, just wanted to say that

  31. Imfromsite Avatar

    I don’t think it’s surprising at all that you got the job. You are rehabilitated, have the skills and most important, you’ve been in their shoes. You would make an excellent counselor. Congratulations! I have been in juvenile also, albeit not as long, and I really do think that rehabilitation should be the aim of all incarceration, not punishment. Thank you for giving that gift to our youth!

  32. FunSecretary8 Avatar

    No questions. Just wanted to tell you that I’m proud of you.