I don’t care about “gifts,” but I spend A LOT of time and energy on holidays. I always have, not only because I’m the one who has access to most of our extra (holiday) funds, but i generally like to do it. We don’t have much extra, but I make it go as far as I can.
Cards, thoughtful gifts, texts, etc.
About 2 weeks before the holiday, I ask my husband if he needs money to get gifts for anyone (I normally do gifts for our family anyway) and I’ll give him whatever. Or he’ll just ask me to get it. Whatever.
This year, he said he had it covered. I was like “Okay. Cool.”
It’s a long story, but my husband(my son and I are NOT invited to my in-laws house due to my son and his Austim, that’s a long story for a different suv), celebrated Easter with my in-laws yesterday and brought home a basket for our son and some new shoes for my husband and that was it.
I usually get something from them, but I didn’t say anything. Figured my husband forgot it or something, so I let it go.
So, today, Easter morning is here. I have my husbands Easter basket and my son’s Easter basket set up and I hid eggs last night.
I talked to my sister and made sure she got her gift from us (I ordered it on Amazon) and she sent my son an Easter bunny and some toy cars along with a new wallet for my husband and a gift card for me from Crumbl (my absolute favorite).
As the day progressed, there still wasn’t anything for me from my in-laws or my husband. I asked my husband if my MIL had given him a card for me or something and he said no. And I asked if the Easter bunny left me anything after I went to bed and he said “No, why?” I said. “I was just wondering because the Easter Bunny left anything for me. And he said “No. He didn’t.” And I was just kind of shocked. 🫢
My feelings are so hurt right now. I put all this time and effort into these “events” and it seems like I was just forgotten this year.
Like I said, it’s not about the gifts, but it’s the fact that I feel so forgotten.
So Happy Easter to EVERYONE!
Comments
When the hell did Easter turn into such a big gift giving occasion? Give kids a basket and call it good.
So ymmv but Easter isn’t a gift giving holiday for most. It’s about the kids and baskets and egg hunts for them, or church for the people who observe.
I have never heard of adults getting Easter gifts
We’ve always done Easter gifts…like I said, weve always done presents for Easter. I guess we grew up in “odd” households.
Stop doing things for them they don’t respect you
I’ve never gotten a gift on Easter.
You DO care about gifts so get that out of the way. Are you Christian? Then consider the reason for the season. Are you not Christian? Then it’s just another day for you. Grow the fuck up
Gifting things on Easter is definitely abnormal.
If your in laws don’t normal give gifts on Easter then I’d guess there’s decided that they don’t really want to indulge it this year. Maybe money is tight.
Your husband should have been more clear about this. I don’t know how long this has been going on but I do find it unlikely your husband would not be aware of your expectations and should have set up a softer landing for you.
But I think it’s always silly to get upset over expectations instead of obligations. I’d say let it go and not expect Easter gifts anymore.
Wow, you go all out. Most people don’t. It sounds like you married a man and his family that doesn’t have the same traditions as you.
You should keep the Easter basket you made for your husband for yourself.
Other people seem to be missing the point here. Sure, most people don’t do gifts at Easter, but OP has said that her family, including her in-laws and husband, always HAVE done gifts at Easter. To them, clearly it IS a gift-giving holiday. And they didn’t get her anything. They usually do and this year they didn’t, not even her husband. That is a bit odd, is it not?
If it were Christmas, a holiday most people would consider a gift-giving holiday, and the family had, as with this, traditionally always given each other gifts and then one year they just abruptly don’t give them to one person, just without a prior discussion not get a gift for his wife when traditionally he does and she got one for him, that would be a bit strange and potentially hurtful wouldn’t it?
Sorry OP, I don’t have any answers for you. I just wanted to agree with you that it’s hurtful and a bit weird. I suggest you talk to your husband about it. And maybe shift towards less gift-giving if these people are going to leave you out of what seems to be a tradition, without discussing it first.
I’m stuck on you & your son we’re not invited to Easter, because your son is autistic? I’m sorry, is that what I read? We don’t do gifts for Easter, but fuck these people completely! I would never associate with anyone who left my child out for any reason!
Easter is supposedly about Christ rising again after the crucifixion. Where is the part about gifts? The bunnies? The chocolate?
I mean this in the best way…there is so much pressure coming from you around gifts. Some people are just not into doing all of the things for all of the holidays. It can be stressful and expensive.
I have a coworker like this. She does little things for us around each holiday because gift-giving is her love language. I feel obligated and really don’t care for it (most of it goes in the trash).
You say that it isn’t about the gift, but it is. How else are they supposed to reciprocate at Easter?
Did you talk to your husband about your expectations? Or how you felt about it?
Aw I’m sorry. I’ve been left out of a bunch of holidays and it’s an awful feeling
This year I made an Easter basket for my brother and one for my roommate. She had given me a little goodie bag prior and I woke up to a small gift for me, my brother, and my bf from her. We all live together. Very touching. My brother didn’t get me anything, but that’s expected. He does as much as he can always, but he just doesn’t have the means and that’s okay! We spent some quality time together instead
Bf got nothing. I’m lucky if he grabs something morning of or gets it delivered. I usually make Easter baskets for the people I’m closest to. But, after two and a half years, I just stopped caring about making sure he has a nice day. It’s whatever. I doubt he’ll care later, but it’s not worth my time and energy for nothing in return.
You’re right. It’s not about the gift. It’s about the time that person took to think of you and say they care about you.
Don’t give your husband and his side of the family anything for holidays anymore. That’s not fair to you and not okay. And if someone gives you crap about it, your response should be, “Well, you didn’t give me anything for Easter. I thought we changed how we did the holidays.” Don’t apologize either.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’d share my Easter candy with you if I could!
So you only do the stuff because you EXPECT something in return? Just do it bc u want to do it, not bc you’re expecting something. Just do your kid in the future and you’re good.