Okay so let me clarify a few things: No I still love him even after when we did it. Both me and him were virgins before this.
I was over at his house and we were having a make out sesh. We’ve made out a couple of times and have masturbated with each other but that was all we did before that day. We decided we wanted to finally do it.
I’ve heard of stories that the first time isn’t all that good, so I was prepared for us to be shitty at it. He at first wanted to go in without a condom but I made him do it with a condom(I AM NOT READY FOR PREGNANCY).
I’ve watched porn a couple of times and learned that we needed to stretch me first. Let me tell you I had to guide him how to stretch me for me to be ready for his dick. So once that mess is over it’s time for us to have sex.
He inserts into me and it hurts(not to the point where I bled tho). We stay for a while then he starts to move, I’m not really feeling anything. After like 1 or 2 minutes he finishes, meanwhile I’m just sat there thinking “is that it?”.
This was like 2 weeks ago and I don’t know what to tell him honestly. I don’t want to sound like a jerk and complain that he didn’t satisfy me. He knows how to rub my thing down there very well, but that is it. Can someone tell me what to do?
Comments
Honestly you just need to practice more. You’ll both get better at it.
One very, very strong piece of advice though.
Do not, ever, for any reason, take sex advice from porn.
Porn is not real sex. It’s porn. Learn by experimenting with each other and being open and honest about what you like, what you don’t like, how it feels etc.
Do not learn by watching paid actors pretending to enjoy sex.
this is quite literally about 80% of what women experience for their first time. you have to give it more tries and find out what you two like. don’t take advice from a porn site. it isn’t real. they are ACTORS.
Partners should focus on making each other feel good.. that is putting effort in foreplay.. you would think putting it in is the main thing.. I’m sure you already got the answer that it isn’t. And porn is a poor guide to healthy sex. They exaggerate to cater to their main audience that is men. There are many other sources that give legit and real information that teaches good sex. Find them. There are different pleasure points in our private parts which needs to be stimulated etc. don’t jump into penetrating.. don’t take foreplay as a chore. First make both of yourselves feel good and then go for it. The next few times you might still be exploring what feels good for you.. feel less pain and more pleasure as you get better at it
Also women require more effort to orgasm than men so yea..
Sex is a skill for sure, and porn is not a good learning resource. I highly suggest resources like planned Parenthood. It’s good you made him wear a condom, but you (and he) should know a lot more about your anatomy before trying again. If you’re unable to talk about your clitoris (that “thing” down there), you probably don’t know enough about safe sex to be doing it and enjoying it.
Communicate and keep trying. You both need to figure out what you like. It takes time and experience, so don’t give up after one try.
Most women have the same experience especially if their first time is with an inexperienced man. Nothing wrong with it but it definitely takes time for you both it understand how the opposite sex works and how to satisfy each other. If you’ve experimented with dildos and know to satisfy yourself just try to guide him, there’s nothing embarrassing about learning how to give each other a good time! But as everyone else is saying don’t take sex advice from porn 🫶
it could literally take years until u figure out what feels good for u! i didn’t discover a wholeeee lot of shit until being with my current boyfriend. i always say he “unlocked” something in me lol. but don’t stress it if your mind is elsewhere other than pure arousal (thinking how it’s ur first time, if it hurts, what he’s thinking, if it’s gonna be everything u were expecting, etc.) ur not gonna feel much. women need a lot of mental stimulation as well too, and foreplay! which comes in sooo many forms
Next time you have sex – or even next time you think you might – have some KY jelly on hand. It can make a world of difference as far as comfort and enjoyment.
TBH, I never enjoyed sex with men. Penetration does nothing for me. I’m an external stimulation girlie. Never even orgasmed during sex until it was with a woman.
I’m sorry that your first experience is not great but that is absolutely typical. If I’m being honest, I didn’t really come into my real sexuality until I was in my 40s. If you keep trying, you will learn to please each other and if he is interested in learning how to please you with his tongue, etc. then it will get better for you. Good luck I hope he will be interested in learning.
i think his dick was too small for you, that is okay. every woman’s vagina is different and there is a lit for every pot! 🙂 look for a guy with a bigger dick and see if that feels better.
(i am seeing this situation in a very simplified way, because i have a very high libido and this would be a huge dealbreaker for me)
How old are you and your BF? The language used here seems pretty young.
This sounds like a completely normal classic first time. lol it’ll hopefully get better. Just communicate
First and foremost what is the ‘thing down there’ he was rubbing?
Porn is all acting and exaggerated. You’ll also find typically a guy thinks it’s just about him finishing.
Sex is one of those things where communication is key. You communicate your wants and needs. If he’s going down on you and slightly in the wrong spot ask him to move. If penetration feels good but isn’t quite give you that feeling ask him to stimulate you with his hands too. Also sex is not always about finishing it can also be about enjoying each other. You can also finish and continue, then finish again, and again….
Like others are saying sex is a skill. No one is going to be good at it initially, its something that you work on. Then you might try it with another partner and have to start fresh because different people have different wants and needs.
You’ll learn, just take it one step at a time. Also proud of you for pushing for the condom (whether or not he was against it, although I don’t think you mentioned he pushed back at all which is great). Don’t let anyone push you to do anything you don’t want, ever
Good luck.
About 75/80% percent of women doesn’t orgasm from penetration alone. The most nerves are in the clitoris, and it’s outside, not inside. Do not have high hopes about vaginal sex, especially early on. Try different positions, learn together. But I wish you had a more experienced and reliable partner who knows how to protect you. Be aware of stealthing. It’s a type of SA when a partner takes off condom during sex without your consent.
Some women don’t get pleasure or cum from just vagina sex, sometimes you need a little more help. Also it could depend on the position you were in, in certain positions I couldn’t feel my partner at all. Try experimenting with things and remember that sex is about both of your guys enjoyment and comfort.
It’s a skill issue for sure and a team game. No one is good on their first try, you were both virgins. The more you do it the better you get. Practice makes perfect. It’s a team game, you gotta engage with each other and learn how each of your bodies work.
Also, don’t take advice from porn. Porn is porn. It’s like looking at NCIS to figure out how to become a detective.
Yeah that’s just classic first time honestly
I didn’t feel much the first time either
You guys just need to practice more
The first time can be stressful as well so it’s hard to relax and really get into it
Take your time to make each other comfortable, sex isn’t all about penetration
Also do NOT rely on porn, most of the time it is really bad depection of sex
Pretty much what sex between virgins is like. No one knows what to do or how shit works, and it is a mess. For girls it is worse as guys generally will finish way too fast. As a guy generally I make sure to include a lot of foreplay and oral before sex so in case the little guy blows super early at least the girl had some fun.