Does anyone else not believe someone who gives them a compliment? Whenever I get complimented at work, socially…in any context, I always think they are saying it to be nice or to just say something for the sake of saying something. I don’t ever believe the comments are genuine or truly deserved. What is wrong with me? How do I change this mentality? Anyone else have the same issue? I just don’t believe people when they compliment me 🤷‍♀️
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I have this same issue. I think it stems from years of bullying or something lol. I’m also one of those people who could always easily find beauty in everyone else except myself. I’ve gotten a lot better through the years though but it’s still a battle sometimes.
Depends on the day at this point. Sometimes I still have trouble with it, but I find that it helps to allow the compliment anyway. Don’t minimize it or try to argue against it, just say “thanks,” and process your turmoil later. I see it as a form of social grace, and going through those motions of accepting positive feedback does help normalize compliments in the long run.
I have a very hard time. My two favorite compliments are ones I genuinely believe though, and they were about my personality and intelligence.
However, I certainly knew people, unfortunately all women, who I heard saying one thing about me, only for them to flip and give me a fake compliment. Once, I was accidentally left cc’d on an email between two recruiters for a job I interviewed for. I had followed up with one of them, and she had left me on the email, and also had added her coworker. It was very clear she had meant to take me off the email, but hadn’t. Her co-worker then proceeded to call me “not very attractive” (for a role that was not based on looks at all), and that my experience and desire to learn was good, but they basically didn’t like my personality (I was a bit quieter back then, but again, the role didn’t require someone super extroverted). Once they realized I was cc’d, they sent an email showering me with compliments, and telling me to go interview for the job at X location at X time. I was young, right out of college, and didn’t know what to do, so I just cried and ghosted them.
My husband is like this, and we think it’s because his parents never actually complimented HIM. It’s hard to take compliments seriously when you’re not taught how to react to them, I suppose.
I guess I’m almost numb to it? I get compliments a lot but they hardly like mean anything to me? I also don’t believe them.
Do you give genuine compliments to others often? If not, that would be my suggestion as a place to start. I find it easy to believe compliments about me from others because when I’m on the giving end I always mean it genuinely.
No. When you compliment others are you not being genuine?
Yes, but I don’t really find that to be a negative. Most people making the compliments are trying to be nice or at worst, just polite. I can have high self esteem and still be skeptical of canned niceties.
I always believe compliments from women (I am a woman) with men it depends on the compliment. Saying I have blow job lips is not a compliment, DEREK.
There is one person who is the sweetest person in the land, so I really don’t trust her compliments since she gives them too frequently and for the smallest of things. This is also going to sound mean as hell but I also don’t think she’s very smart. So when she gasses me up with “You’re so smart!”, my ego isn’t boosted any.
Back in my low self-esteem days, I didn’t believe any of the compliments I got. But now I’m not like that. Now I appreciate that people can say things out of niceness but that doesn’t mean they are lying. It just means that they like you and want you to know that. I know I never give someone a compliment who I don’t like, even if they impress me with something. I save compliments for people I like, who I want to build relationships with.
I the same way. Too many people are nice to protect your feelings so it can be hard to decipher between what’s genuine and what’s just people not wanting to hurt you.