Something must be fundamentally wrong with me, or maybe it’s something that comes with age, but I don’t have an emotional response to people dying anymore. I used to when I was a kid, but as an adult, I just think coldly that people die. My grandmother, grandfather, my uncle and my dad have passed with another uncle who is on the verge of going. Yet I don’t feel sad about it. Just acceptance that they are gone/going. I might need therapy or something.
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Everyone handles grief differently. There’s a lot of factors to it, from the emotional side to cultural side. If you think therapy would benefit you, I say go for it, obviously, but… personally? I don’t really see anything wrong with not mourning.
It’s a fact of life. “The only two things that are certain are death and taxes” and all that. People pass away. I don’t really think anyone should be policing how anyone else responds to it.
My dad told me that when he dies, nobody is allowed to cry at the funeral. It should be a happy day, full of bad puns and math jokes, because those are the things he loved. I told him I would try, but I’m bound to be emotional. I cried over a family member I barely knew passing away. But I wouldn’t fault anyone at the wake for doing what he asked, carrying out his wishes. If you were there, I wouldn’t fault you for not being upset. It just makes no sense to do that.
I’ve gotten to this point too. I’m sorry to inform you but the grief is like a dam. It will come out at some point if you don’t take time to cope.
I never have. I emotionally react on a lot of things, but not death. When you die, it’s over. I used to think there was something wrong with me too, now I don’t really care. I believe being good to people when they’re alive is more important than making a big fuss about it when they’re gone.
But that’s just my opinion, and I do realize it hurts a lot of people when someone is taken away from their life, especially when it’s too soon, which is why I usually keep it to myself.
Sometimes people don’t react in an outward or obvious way. You may not have felt a deep emotional attachment to the people in your life who’ve passed, and in that way I could understand not really having a strong emotional reaction (it’s not always sobbing and lying in bed for days like they show on tv).
You didn’t say how old you are, but I can relate in that as a young adult I didn’t feel much other than maybe passing sadness/ feeling of empathy when an older person passed, even if it was a family member. I felt more sad for the people who would miss them.
As I’ve gotten older (40s) I’ve become aware of my mortality and quite frankly I’ve got so much more to lose. Hearing about people passing hits me harder. But I’ve only felt true grief though for the loss of people who were deeply enmeshed in my life.
Everyone is different. Relationships are deeply complex. I try not to judge anyone’s emotional reactions (or lack thereof) to loss.