I’m 23f and I haven’t been feeling like myself for a while now. I started feeling like this around a year ago. I don’t really know why. I tried to ignore it at first but it has gotten progressively worse. I feel so empty and numb. Nothings brings me joy anymore. I’m not me anymore. I used too have a lot of hobbies and dreams and ambitions but I don’t have any of that anymore. It’s like I have no personality anymore. I’m so unhappy with my life right now. I feel so guilty for saying that because I’m definitely more fortunate than others. I try my best to be positive and to be grateful for what I have in life but I still can’t get rid of this feeling.
I think when I was younger I was oblivion about a lot of things but as I got older I became more aware. The more aware I became the worse I started feeling. I’ve been reading a lot of news lately and I feel so hopeless afterwards. It’s like one bad thing just keeps happening after another. The state of my country right now and also the state of the world right now just has me feeling so hopeless. When I think about the future I don’t know if that’s a future I want to be apart of.
I live in a developing country with limited opportunities. I want to leave so badly but that’s easier said than done. It’s difficult to leave and requires a lot of money. I’m also gay and I live in a really homophobic country. Being gay isn’t illegal here but it’s still not really safe. There are no laws protecting us and I can’t even be myself in public because it’s not safe. I don’t really know what to do right now. I don’t know what I could do to stop feeling like this. I kind of feel like my life is already over. I feel like it’s never going to get better and I honestly just feel like giving up right now.
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