Had to recently come to terms with the fact that my dreams are unachievable. Getting up feels like a chore and I’m just going through the motions in life. Couldn’t care less about “giving to society” or anything of that sort when I’m already drained and hate myself.
Nothing excites me anymore. Traveling feels boring. Piano feels tedious. I don’t see a point in indulging in anything when I don’t get anything happy from them.
I’m in my early twenties. I don’t want to go through another fifty years of struggles without any payoff. What do I do now? Do I call it quits?
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OP if its this bad you need help. You need a professional, not reddit. I’m not a doctor but it sounds like depression, which can absolutely get better but you might genuinely have a chemical balance you need medicated. Talk to someone you trust and book an appointment, please.
I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. You’re not alone, and things can get better—even if it doesn’t feel like it now. Please reach out to a therapist or support line. You deserve help and support.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Life can be like that sometimes. I wonder why you think your goals are unachievable? If piano is no longer your instrument how about trying something more physical like martial arts, maybe that’ll help you punch your frustration out of your body and then something will light up in your head and you’ll feel better. Also scratching paper with markers, dots or circles all over helps releasing anger and frustration, while getting you to feel less bored at the same time. Talking to someone in person can help a lot too like a close friend or relative. Looking for a therapist is also not a bad idea if you feel like it’s too much.
Get help if you can. Else, life doesn’t need goals. My only goal is to see where this leads, and it has always been like this. Time doesn’t need any reason to go forward, it won’t stop because you want it to stop, neither because you don’t give it a reason to go forward.
It’s an unusual type of view on the world, but I don’t wish for anything else I already have, I just want to stay where I am, and stop as much as I can to watch what is around me.
Do the things of maintenance. Life will surprise you, and in the meantime, keep being alive. Try curiosity instead of ambition.
Stop hating yourself.
Come up with new more realistic goals/aspirations.
Nothing wrong with quitting. Just be a begger and take up drinking
Humans need these basic things to function:
A healthy diet of lean meats, non starchy vegetables, low glycemic fruits like berries and melons, complex carbs like starchy vegetables and minimal processed foods. Lots of water.
To be in motion. Overcoming inertia can be rough but it’s necessary. Begrudgingly go on a walk and make a phone call while you are on it. Two miles. Walk with a quick pace. This also provides connection to another person and connection with the outdoors. Sunshine as well.
Goals. You think all hope is lost, but all you need is a pivot. A change in goals. Curiosity about what opportunity you’ll get into next. Small goals work too. I know it’s even hard to get in the shower like this. That can be a goal. To shower every day this week. To walk every day this week. To make a call every day this week. To do laundry this week. To clean your living space. To eat healthy.
Unplug. Social media and the news and doom scrolling actually causes depression. Take a fast from anything but calls and texts for a week to 10 days.
We need things to look forward to. Concerts, sports games, trivia night the library, lunch with friends, travel etc. At least every other week something you enjoy needs to be on the calendar.
Hobbies. Talents and skills we possess that we get to explore and enjoy. Basketball, tennis, crochet, arts, woodworking, building things, musical instruments, sports, cooking, baking, singing. Whatever you’re into.
Being useful. Employment is important to feel useful, or volunteering, or raising children. You need something in your life that makes you useful. Gainful employment and service to others are the best if you don’t have kids.
I know all of that sounds like work, but all you need is to overcome inertia. You settled into a rut. Life is good, your life is good, you just forget right now because of your prospective. Throw on some happy music you love and get going on that walk. Call someone in your life that motivates you. Call a parent or a sibling. A best friend. Then come home and shower. That’s a lot for day one.
“u need a professional” is such a funny thing to say. what is he gonna do about your aspirations? lighten ur wallet? capitalism in a nutshell
Find or build a life of service to others.
You realize that life isn’t actually about what you achieve. Your life may be a blip on the cosmic radar, but it’s your only life. The only chance to see morning dew on the grass, feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, to get a head freeze from eating ice creamy too fast.
You are lucky to have a functioning body and brain and exist. The odds were very high that none of the things that needed to happen to make YOU happen would have. All it would have taken was your parents to have sex two weeks later instead of the night you were conceived for you to be a totally different person.
So take the chance you’re given to enjoy the one life you’ve got. It’s likely to be long, and have shitty moments and downsides, but there will be moments of pleasure, joy and grace also.
Stay in the day dumbass; start walking every day, eat a nice meal and write down 3 things to be thankful for at the end of every day. Start fcvking moving.