I (20F) am running away as soon as possible. Nearing the two year mark of my cancer diagnosis as of this May, only a few days after my birthday. I’m already headed into early menopause with a shortened lifespan & no ability to biologically carry a child, one of my dreams. To add insult to injury, I decided to pursue an arts degree. It’s all everyone sees me good for. The United States’ college system is killing me. My funding was cut, both health-wise and career-wise. AI pushed me away from a fine arts degree. All I want is to help people, to guide, to work and to live and start a family. I’m hiding my fear from my mother, the only family I have left. I’m sick of my boyfriend for being so selfish and callous and I could easily believe that deciding to be with him was an act of self-harm. I’m growing more distant from the friends I’ve led into believing I’m alright. I’m acting more impulsively and I can tell. I want to go away for the first time and live the time I have left how I want. I don’t have much of it and I can tell I’m stretched thin. I’m so antsy and restlessly quiet. I’m tired and nobody knows, and if they do, they aren’t close enough to do much. People see me as an object or a character and describe me as such. I want to be seen.
Maybe the gene mutation won’t take my life now, but it’s taken enough already. Nobody knows about this except for a friend in another global hemisphere. I’m not letting myself rot in rural America. I’m going to live.
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I do not know how to empathise with you because I have never been in your shoes but if I were I would pray bout it , idk bout your thoughts on religion but if your gonna pass why not try uk be genuinely sincere and pray
and watch go on YouTube and wat h @koinonia global
I hope you take my advice
and I put at you experience the healing power of Jesus
If you have a limited time left as you say, listen to your heart. I wouldn’t recommend going full hedonist but if it doesn’t spark joy…
Have an honest conversation with your mum and trust me when I say, she will want you to be happy with what time you have left. Part of her will selfishly want to keep you close as you are her child, but I hope that ultimately she will want you to live the rest of your life to the fullest.
Go and find your happiness xx
So, this all sounds tough but your frontal lobe isn’t even developed. Break up with your boyfriend, I guess. Tell your friends to fuck off, I guess. Have you considered making new ones or dating someone else or just complaining about it? Do you hate your mom? I’d imagine that would really bum her out.