I don’t know how to feel with my MIL

I sometimes feel very uncomfortable around my mother in law, she has the kind of dog whistle behaviour where everyone around feel comfortable and welcome around her, but to me i feel like im the only one uncomfortable around her, since i gave birth and maybe few months ago before giving birth she has been doing thins that make uncomfortable, she wanted to take me to a public hospital to give birth when my family already planned on having better care in a private hospital,(this was a help from my mother im her daughter and she wanted me to feel comfortable in this situation) she always insisted me on having a natural birth and i did but it was a very painful recovery, on my recovery days she was always insisting that i was going to get better to go live with them which i was not ready for because i was in a lot of pain, and always told her and him, later when i visited my mom a week she told my husband if i divorced him which made him feel insecure and anxious about me leaving him,its this kinf of way of saying kind of petty comments that she sees as jokes but come off as rude at leats for me, she has said before that I use a lot of makeup, that she could never use this much makeup on her, I get that she doesn’t like it, but why is it worth mentioning it in front of everyone?, last week in a family gathering i used makeup because I was going to have dinner with my husband , and his family said I looked good, and she out of nowhere to annoy my husband’s grand father told me he said i was ugly without it (he didn’t say it btw,it was a mid comment abou how i look more fixed or something, which i dont really mind because that’sthe hole reason of taking time to look a certain way), her comment made me feel very uncomfortable and felt tense the rest of the day.
I try to be patient and polite because she is my husband’s mother and she has done a lot for us when it comes to help, but I would rather not have help at all than feeling uncomfortable with her, sometimes I feel my husband and my relationship will not last if we keep having this problem with limits with her mom, she was very persistent when I gave birth to go live with them,but I stood firmly because my mother took care of me and my baby on the quarantine(mexican tradition of caring for the mother and baby for forty days).
she always has comments on everything i do or don’t, and is always trying to do stuff around the house, i hate that she behaves like this because she was very vocal about me and my husband be adults and take our responsibility but she is still doing things like this.
yesterday my husband told me that his mother asked him when was she going to have our son to care ,because i had to go back to school, this comment annoyed me so much, because on the surface it seems like the kind of comment that sound like help but is a double edged knife, i told him i dont want her to take care of my son , we have very different views on education and i know we are going to clash, and also she is always taking care of his parents, she is already stressed and she does not have time .l,and also we agreed before that we were going to wait for him to grow up a little more before considering nursery.
I feel sometimes that my husband does not understand me , I told him I understand it’s his mother, but it hurts he doesn’t really take my side at all, I get they both have been through so much and i would never ask him to estrange her or anything but i would exoect for him to understand why i dont like to spend  time with her on my own.I won’t participate in that kind of dynamic where we just hate each other and piss each other,I just don’t feel like doing so,  i prefer to take distance with my son to be honest and I honestly prefer to pay my parents a rent and not really depend on him and his mother.