Hi internent parents
I (21f) am in a bind. My dad is going to jail soon within the next month or so and he needs me to go to a different state, where he lives, to take care of his dogs. I just feel so trapped by this and like i dont really have a choice. Ive attempted to help find alternatives for his dogs, he has 6, but theres nothing. I am a collegr student and I already have a summet job and housing all lined up for thr summer. I would be out there for almost 2 weeks. I talked to my bosses and they said that it would be ok if i went and i would still have my job. I just am so stressed about all of this i just dont know how to handle any of this, when i think about i just have crazy anxiety. Thank you for reading.
Edit: he is anticipating being in jail for 10 days.
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Why can’t your dad arrange care for his own dogs? How long will he be in jail?
Maybe call a dog rescue group in that area and see if someone can volunteer to do a short term foster care for the dogs.
It’s too bad he has that many. That’s stressful and expensive. Maybe he’d be willing to rehome 4 of them, if the foster volunteers could find a good permanent home.
If someone is willing to foster the dogs, maybe you could do your summer plans the way you already arranged them.
Find out if foster care is available, then talk to your dad about it. If you’re having horrible anxiety, that might be your intuition telling you not to go there.
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You should not do this. Tell your dad that he needs to find someone else or call animal rescue.
This is his problem, not yours. Whatever he did that’s landing him in jail is his own fault and it shouldn’t turn your life upside down. Tell him to contact animal control in his area.
Your father is an adult. He can arrange care for his dogs. He can board them or hire a dog sitter.
This is not your problem to solve.
Maybe he should board them. You don’t live nearby or with him. It’s his problem.
10 days will come and go. i think you should do it. everyone needs help once in a while and family should help each other. i think you’ll feel guilty if you say no. it’s only ten days.
This is NOT your responsibility! This is so messed up in so many ways. Your dad got himself into this mess and it’s not your responsibility to put your life on hold and clean up his mess. He can figure it out as an adult should. Sounds like he is used to others bailing him out based on his expectations.
Key word here is anticipating, so he could be in there for even longer.
My advice is don’t do it, bc if you do it now, he will expect you to do it in the future, when the shit hits the fan again (and it will!)
Quite a few have pointed out that he’s gotten himself into this, and he needs to fix it. Yeah, consequences.
I have no idea what he’s going to jail for (and there’s absolutely no reason why you should tell us), but others’ comments got me wondering if both things are part of a larger pattern. Has he generally been unaware of the effects of his actions on others? Meaning, maybe he got too many DUIs, or he touched someone inappropriately, or he violated a TRO? Some reason like that is why he’s going to jail? If so, you’d be doing the people he encounters in the future a big favor by starting to rein him in. He may want or like to do things, but his actions have effects (sometimes huge effects) on others, on their jobs, on their anxiety level (you), on their safety, on their money …