To start off, I (23f) posted in this subreddit? About a month ago asking how to handle the possibility of my in laws announcing my SIL’s engagement at my wedding. Small update to that, it didn’t happen wasn’t even an issue, partied with and got closer to her and her bf. Very excited for this new familial relationship. But something else kinda happened at said wedding.
Night before the wedding we(me, husband, husbands whole family) were all drinking and partying.
We are particularly close to my husbands uncle,uncles wife and their 2 sons therefore we were talking with and hanging around them a little more than everyone else but not in a closed off to everyone else kind of way. I’m going to be very honest, I never really drank before this night, maybe once or twice on my husbands bday and it never exceeded a single beer and maaaaybe a shot. This night I had several hard mixed drinks. Before the drinks got to me I was floating around and being fun and talking to everyone, at one point a group of people and I were outside on the back porch that was very dimly lit but not super dark as we were set in the middle of a busy city, I was talking to my husbands uncle and said something I don’t remember, nothing in any way inappropriate just a simple joke as he laughed along and moved way closer to me as he laughed before he threw his arm around me very swiftly, brought me in and kind of held me there so my back side was now pressed against his front with him leaning on me. I know he wasn’t drinking in any way and I remember sobering up for a split second and being really uncomfortable. I made a joke towards someone else who was outside and went inside with them to get another drink. As an inexperienced drinker I ended up throwing up and passing out in the restroom. My husband found me on the couch and woke me up a few hours later around 6am and told me we needed to go pick something up from the store about an hour away. I showered and got dressed quickly and mentioned what I remembered to my husband and he said that he noticed some stares in my direction at the time it would’ve happened, right before I went inside and obviously didn’t make it back out 😅 but by the time he’d turned I was already walking inside. He wasn’t mad or judging he just said he was sorry for not being more vigilant and that if it made me uncomfortable even if it wasn’t outright “inappropriate” that my feelings are still valid because a lot of discomfort comes from non sexual situations. Since then this uncle has been liking and replying to my insta stories.
Some are cute selfies and others are just random shit posts and things he’d have no real knowledge about like internet jokes but it doesn’t stop him. Again these aren’t inappropriate story replies but it’s “random” and “out of nowhere” and I just need to know if I’m being weird and overreacting b ‘cause I know if I told any of my husbands family they’d tell me I was inflating this situation or even say that I was full of myself to assume he’d make any situation seem like “that” towards me. So do I let this go as a drunken misconception or am I valid in these feelings? It’s made it hard to connect with the wife and sons , who I absolutely adore hanging out with and talking to daily but have been withdrawn from lately because of all this.
I don’t know if I should feel uncomfortable or not.
r/Advice
Comments
Confront the uncle with your husband with you. If you make it clear that you’re uncomfortable with the sudden shift in behaviour you may get through to him and show him how creepy he’s being. Then again you never know with people.
Your judgement might have been a little off due to being drunk.