TW – Miscarriage
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So sadly, on July 4th, I found out I was pregnant, and on the Wednesday after, I was miscarrying.
July 4th is my stepmother-in-law’s birthday, and I didn’t say anything; my partner also said nothing, which, in my mind, makes sense. We were in shock, it was an unplanned pregnancy but all of the questions were raised about what we wanted to do. We’ve just moved house, we are in good jobs with good pay, we are in the perfect position, but we had no idea how to navigate this decision and we both shutdown.
So yeah, I didn’t say happy birthday, I talked to my partner, my dad and my sister, I logged off work, and I broke down.
I didn’t say anything until 2 days later when I had figured my stuff out and I apologised to her.
Last night they came over to visit and drop somethings off and I decided that I wanted to explain what happened because I felt I didn’t give a decent enough reasoning. She didn’t want to hear it but I explained that I needed to.
So when I explained everything and apologised again, she said that she was sorry for what I’ve been through but even a test like that doesn’t stop you from sending a text and that she thinks we were being thoughtless and she’s taken us on and has ended up with 5 kids so after what everything she’s done, it was thoughtless.
Now I’m conflicted, I agree that if I was thinking I could have sent a text, same for my partner, but also we were in our own world, in shock and confusion. I just seems like a bit of a harsh reaction.
She is going to hold a grudge, she’s known for it, so I most likely won’t hear or see her for a couple of weeks, but to be honest, after that reaction and how much it sounds like my own mother, I don’t really want her back over for a while either. Just seems like a bit of a harsh reaction.
Comments
Wow, she sounds tremendously selfish. You forgot to text her during huge, shocking news. It’s understandable. She needs to grow up.
Wow. How do people reach adulthood with no emotional maturity?
You didn’t text her while in shock? Let just hold a grudge.
I’m sorry, OP, she must be a nightmare to deal with.
If she doesn’t speak to you for ‘a couple of weeks’ then you don’t speak to her for a month. Given how she behaved, you wouldn’t be overreacting to say you never wanted to see her again.
“SMIL after the way you reacted to our miscarriage, with selfishness instead of empathy. You have completely changed the way I see you as a person. You were not the victim here and it will take me a very long time to forgive you putting a delayed text, that you were given multiple apologies for, over the loss of our child.”
Even if you were someone that felt there were very little excuses for forgetting your birthday, this would be one of them.
And if you’re the kind of person that thinks there’s no excuse for forgetting your birthday, then you’re ridiculous.
For a while? I would suggest dropping the rope. She has shown how little you matter. She is her priority. I’m truly sorry you have to deal with such a heartless reaction.